


Them Butterflies

by momentofclarity



Series: Them Butterflies [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Coming Out, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Graphic Designer Louis, Homophobic Harassment, Homophobic Language, Ignorant Language, Light Angst, M/M, POV Harry, POV Louis, Rimming, Smut, Smut as a means to character development, Social Worker Harry, how is that not a common tag lol, it's mostly embarrassing fluff and boys in love though promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 17:42:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 68,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9776864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentofclarity/pseuds/momentofclarity
Summary: To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end.This is the extraordinarily ordinary AU where Harry falls in love for the first time and Louis learns how to fall in love all over again.





	1. 1. Harry meets Louis

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! I’m posting my first fic ever. I’m doing it! It’s done! Oh god. Okay. So.
> 
> I carry hundreds of stories in my head but this one just had to come out. 
> 
> FIRST OF ALL I want to thank my amazing beta and one of the loves of my life, Lois. Without you this fic would be a bloody mess and Louis would probably still care more about dinner than ya know, if his boy is alright. (Which is utterly ridiculous of course!) I love you to bits and pieces babes ❤
> 
> (if anyone comes across any mistakes, they’re 100% mine though!) 
> 
> Also. Social worker Harry is obviously not wearing Gucci and YSL, so lets just pretend his shirts are cheap knock offs. Heh.
> 
> I want to thank all the amazing fic authors in this fandom who inspired me to write this. Your stories have given me so much joy and heartache you have no idea. Thank you!
> 
> Comments and kudos would obviously mean the world to me, please leave a comment if you enjoyed the story or wanna have a chat ❤
> 
> And yeah, this never happened and never will.

_If I said my heart was beating loud_  
_If we could escape the crowd somehow_  
_If I said I want your body now_  
_Would you hold it against me?_  
  
_'Cause, you feel like paradise_

_\- Britney Spears  
_

_\--------------_

 

The first time Harry meets Louis, he’s in a pub with some of his closest friends. He’s having a good time - laughing and catching up. He’s not there to hook up with someone. He’s not there to chat up a girl to bring home. He’s perfectly content as it is. But then Niall brings two of his friends from his old football team over to the table and everything changes.

Because that’s when Harry meets Louis.

“Oi everyone! This is Zayn and Louis, we used to play footie together, make room!” Niall announces as he comes back from the bar with a new pint. He gesticulates excitedly towards the two boys next to him. Harry smiles at his friend and looks over at the new members around the table. As he looks away from Niall he’s met by blue eyes flashing like lightning.

He reaches over the table to shake the boy’s hand. “I’m Harry, nice to meet you,” he says, not able to look away from those blue eyes.

The boy’s hand is enveloped by his larger one but he gives Harry a firm shake. “Louis, you too.” And Harry doesn’t know if his mind is playing tricks on him, but he thinks he catches a quick wink from Louis before he lets go of his hand. It makes something strange flutter in his stomach anyhow.

Liam, Perrie and Leigh Anne all say hi as well as Harry shakes the hand of the other boy, Zayn. (Harry notes that he doesn’t look dissimilar to the models Gemma used to fawn over as a teen) His attention is, however, drawn back to Louis who’s sat down in front of him. Harry’s gaze quickly flitters over Louis’ face, drinking him in. He’s got caramel coloured hair, fringe messily styled over his forehead, pink lips thin and soft looking. A slight scruff covers his cheeks. When Harry meets his eyes again, there’s warmth in them, a perfectly shaped eyebrow lifted as if he’s both amused and a bit challenging. Harry realises he must’ve stared quite obviously.

He clears his throat to somehow cover up for the fact that his cheeks burn at getting caught staring and starts with an eloquent “Erhm… so. Footie team huh?”

Louis just grins at his awkwardness, “Yup, years ago now though. Haven’t played in ages.”

“Yeah, don’t think I’ve heard Niall mention any footie team ever.”

“Ey hush you! I brag about the conquests of Doncaster’s finest all the time,” Niall exclaims and puts his arms around Louis and Zayn’s shoulders. They both snigger.

“Yeah, lots of conquest we made, it’s just it all happened in the showers rather than on the pitch,” Zayn says and laughs when Niall rolls his eyes.

“Ungh, don’t remind me, please,” Niall groans and Harry looks between the three former teammates in confusion. He’s just about to ask what they’re talking about when Perrie strikes first.

“And what is _that_ supposed to mean?” Her eyebrow arched and a faux shocked expression on her face.

“Well Nialler here happened to end up as one of the few straight players on the gayest footie team in Doncaster history. He’s seen his fair share of conquest in his day,” Louis laughs as Niall and Zayn join in.

“Do tell,” Perrie says, resting her chin in her hand as if she’s very interested in hearing more. Harry kind of is too.

“It was absolutely mad. Imagine a team of 20 or so 16 year old lads where _at least_ half of them realise they wouldn’t mind hooking up with one of their teammates!” Louis says and Zayn continues.

“Yeah, and Niall and a few others were caught in the cross fire.”

“No kidding! Never seen so much drama in my life!” Niall says, still laughing. “Everyone was dating or shagging everyone and don’t even get me started on the jealousy and all the fighting. A bloody mess that was.”

Louis smiles as if he remembers it fondly. “It was a bit messy yeah, lots of fun too,” he says and those sparkling blue eyes meet Harry’s again.

Perrie and Liam start chatting with Zayn about growing up in Doncaster and Niall picks up his discussion about his new guitar with Leigh Anne. That leaves Harry with all of Louis’ attention on him and it’s unlike anything he’s ever felt. Like he doesn’t know what to say, but can’t wait to say it, all at the same time.

“How about you, played any footie growing up?” Louis asks before taking a swig of his pint.

“Nah, only played badminton for a bit. Always loved the game but was never any good at it,” Harry says with a smile.

“Well not everyone can be part of Doncaster’s, or wherever you’re from’s, finest, can they?” Louis smiles and does he ever look anything but slightly mischievous?

“I guess not,” Harry smiles back and for some unfathomable reason his cheeks burn again. “… and I’m from Holmes Chapel, Cheshire.”

“And what do you do now, Harry from Holmes Chapel, Cheshire?”

“I’m a social worker, graduated just last year.”

“Oh that’s nice, what field do you work in?” Louis asks, leaning forward to hear him better over the chatter at the table.

“Erhm, I work at social services, helping people with housing mostly.”

“Bloody hell, that sounds like something that’s actually important,” Louis says and seems genuinely impressed. “I’m a graphic designer myself, helping companies bring in the big bucks, very chivalrous of me, I know.”

Harry smiles at his sarcastic and self-deprecating comment. “Not everyone can be a social worker though, I’m sure you’re really good at your job.”

“Nah, I’m passable at best.” Louis scrunches his nose, his eyes crinkling as he smiles.

The following hours pass quickly, where everything except the boy in front of him seems blurry and unimportant. Louis is clever, witty and sharp but with a kind heart and a warm smile. He gesticulates when he talks, dainty wrists snapping as he talks about his job, his family and yet again, football. When he laughs it’s loud and airy, bright and unabashed. The crinkles by his eyes reappear regularly when Harry makes fun of himself or when he tells Louis about how proud he is of his sister Gemma. To sum it all up - Louis is beautiful. Breathtakingly so. And Harry can’t find it in himself to even question the fact that he thinks so. Louis is mesmerising, nearly magnetic with all the energy bouncing off of him. Harry doesn’t know what to make of it, but he knows he doesn’t want this night to end. Knows he doesn’t want to give up the privilege of being the main focus of Louis’ attention quite yet.

They’re snapped out of their bubble when they notice the others putting on their coats and getting ready to leave. “You leaving already?” Louis asks the rest of them with a slight pout. An unfairly adorable pout, if you asked Harry.

“If you weren’t so caught up in, _whatever it is the two of you are doing_ , you’d know we’re heading over to The Vault,” Perrie chirps and waggles her eyebrows obnoxiously. Harry does _not_ blush for the fiftieth time that night.

“Oh well, then we’re…” Louis looks over to Harry as if to check in with him. “Then we are too? Right?”

Harry might nod a little too eagerly and his dimples are probably making themselves permanent in his cheeks as he agrees.

 

\---

 

The Vault is filled to the brim with people who consider 1AM to be too early to turn in. It’s in the basement of an old looking building and the small dance floor is separated from the bar by a vault in the ceiling. Louis makes a comment about how they should hire his firm to come up with a _less_ inventive name as they head over to the bar.

With the excuse of being surrounded by other people, Harry makes sure to stay close to Louis as he orders pints for them. Louis is shorter than him with sharp shoulders, toned arms, a small waist and mouth watering curves. He’s got this bouncy lightness about him, like he at any moment could just take off into the air. He is also warm and his t- shirt soft against Harry’s arm. Harry is grabbed by the urge to lean in closer, put his nose at the soft hair behind Louis’ ear and breathe him in. Thankfully the bartender hands them their pints and Louis turns to face him before he gives in. “There you go, Curly!”

“Thank you,” Harry manages through the slightly disorienting thoughts rumbling around in his head. _Soft. Warm. His lips. Fucking hell._

They head over to the dance floor straight away, their friends seemingly forgotten once again as they make their way through the crowd. They dance together for a few songs and Harry barely takes note of which songs are playing. Not with Louis swaying to the beat right in front of him, somehow energetic and graceful at the same time. Harry can feel excitement buzz under his skin. He knows it’s because of Louis and the swooping feeling in his stomach as Louis smiles at him over the brim of his pint, but it’s easy to ignore the implications of those feelings when Louis puts a hand on his shoulder and leans in close. “Should’ve known you’d be a terrible dancer, Dimples.”

Harry can’t stop the squawk of a laugh that leaves his mouth, “Excuse me, _Shorty_ , but I happen to be an excellent dancer,” he answers, trying to act offended but ending up smiling so hard he has to bite his lip to tone it down a notch or ten.

Louis slaps at Harry’s chest and opens his mouth in shock, “You did _not_ just call me Shorty,”, but it takes about three seconds before his smile matches Harry’s.

With Louis’ hand still lingering on his chest, Harry’s heart beats wildly. He can’t keep his thoughts from becoming a whirlwind of _closer, want him closer, his eyes, how, I want to know what his scruff feels like, I never want to stop looking at him, I never want to stop, please, closer._

Louis leans in again, lips gracing his ear as he says, “Good thing you’re so ridiculously pretty or I never would’ve forgiven you,” before pulling back and meeting his eyes. The glint in his blue eyes a mixture of bashful and teasing. He’s the most attractive person Harry’s ever laid eyes on and he can’t stop staring. The tension between them thick with expectation and it’s nearly too much for Harry to handle.

He wants to devour him.

“You want to grab some air maybe?” he asks as his eyes keep going back and forth between Louis’ electric blue ones.

Louis nods and they leave their half finished pints at a table on the way out to the small smoking area out back. They find an empty corner and stand huddled together in the crisp autumn air. Louis’ face is lit up by colourful light bulbs hanging over them and his cheeks are rosy. Long eyelashes casting shadows over sharp cheekbones. He looks impossible. He looks like everything Harry never knew he wanted but so desperately has searched for without knowing.

Harry takes a step closer to him, the tips of his fingers tracing the curve of Louis’ waist. They haven’t said a word since they left the dance floor, but Harry feels like the silent conversation happening between the blue and green of their eyes is as loud as anything.

Louis looks down at their feet for a moment, biting his bottom lip before he looks up at Harry again and softly says, “ _Shit_ ”. Like he feels the same way. Like he can also feel how the air around them forces their bodies to sway closer, like gravity, like magnets.

“I know,” Harry answers just as quietly. Louis’ hands settle on Harry’s chest and his fingers trace invisible patterns over his collarbones. He presses in closer and puts his nose against Harry’s throat. _Breathing him in._

If the rest of the world hadn’t turned into mindless background noise he might not have heard Louis when he says, “I think you have to kiss me.”

Harry puts his hands at Louis’ neck, thumbs finally feeling the scruff at his jaw. It sends prickles of electricity down his arms. Taking a last shaky breath he leans down and catches Louis’ lips with his. It’s gentle and soft but Harry feels like he’s burning.

It’s impossible. Impossible and so incredibly real at the same time. Because Louis smells like cigarettes and tastes of cheap beer but Harry has never felt anything, anyone, more lovely.

They separate and their breaths turn into fog between their slightly open mouths. Louis twirls his fingers in Harry’s long curls and pulls him closer again, this time with more intent. Harry sets his hands at the small of Louis’ back and draws him in. Feeling Louis’ smaller body against his makes hot pulses of want thrum through his veins. The sensation of scruff against his cheeks as they kiss, strong arms curling around him, tongues sliding together and the gorgeous curve above Louis’ bum, is exhilarating. It might be the most addictive feeling ever. He didn’t know being close to someone could feel like this.

“Do you…” Louis starts before catching his breath to continue. “Do you maybe want to… come home with me?” His eyes dodge back and forth between Harry’s as if he could read the answer there.

Harry nods carefully, putting his forehead against Louis’. “Yeah, I’d like that I think.”

A small smile curves over Louis’ red kissed lips. “Cool. Super. Awesome,” he says and laughs quietly at his own words.

 

\---

 

Harry honestly doesn’t know how he survives the taxi ride over to Louis’ flat. The air around them like a lighting storm crossed with scorching fire. As they leave the car Harry’s got goose bumps covering his arms and his neck is hot from arousal. While entering the building and waiting for the lift, Harry’s head is spinning with thoughts. He’s had his fair share of hook ups. He can’t recall the amount of times he’s met a girl on a dance floor, in corner of a bar or at a friend’s place. A nice smile and the promise of a few moments of closeness have been enough. He’s never made a big deal out of sex, because it never was to him. Looking over at Louis makes him realise he might have to revise his earlier beliefs. A few hours spent in Louis’ company, making him smile, feeling his warmth, kissing him, has Harry’s heart beating out of his chest, the tips of his fingers shaking and thick heat coursing through him. He’s never been this turned on before and Louis has barely touched him.

As soon as the lift doors close, Louis is on him. His mouth pressing kisses along his throat, fingers pulling at his coat and Harry needs to touch him. Needs to know this is really happening because somehow Louis still seems like the most impossible of wonders. Harry puts his hand on Louis’ cheek to press their lips together, “I can’t believe you’re real,” he whispers and Louis grunts before pulling at his coat in frustration.

“Shut up, stop being so gorgeous.”

Harry smiles and lets Louis drag him out of the lift towards his door. As soon as Louis has let them inside, Harry finds himself being pushed up against the closed door - Louis falling on his knees in front of him. If he wasn’t already painfully hard, there’s no doubt in his mind that Louis looking up at him through long lashes would’ve gotten him there in approximately 0.2 seconds.

“Take off your coat,” Louis says as he pushes his own off his shoulders.

It takes Harry a few seconds to put together the meaning of Louis’ words, but then he does as asked. He looks down at Louis again and his mouth goes dry as Louis’ nimble fingers open up his tight jeans and roughly drags them down together with his pants, his hard cock bobbing right in front of Louis’ face.

For a second Harry is coherent enough to feel slightly exposed, but then Louis wraps his fingers around him and Harry has to close his eyes for a moment not to come on the spot. Louis’ fingers travel up and down his shaft slowly, as if he’s getting used to the feeling of Harry. Then he puts the tip of Harry’s cock in his mouth, sucking lightly, and Harry’s hips stutter at the warm wetness surrounding him. Harry feels out of control with how good it feels. _Holy fucking shit fuck **how**. _ He looks down at Louis and his mind zeroes in on the pink lips wrapped around him, cheekbones _so sharp_ as Louis leans in closer and sucks more of him into his mouth. Harry puts his hand in Louis’ soft hair and Louis looks up at him, quirking an eyebrow in slight amusement, but he doesn’t stop. His tongue is doing things to Harry he couldn’t have made up in his wildest dreams and when he can feel the tight heat of Louis' throat around him, Harry lets out a load moan and reflexively pulls on Louis’ hair to make him stop.

“Oh god stop, I’m gonna… fuck _stop.”_ He’s so close to coming he can feel his balls drawn up tight, waves of pleasure surging through him, pooling at the base of his throbbing cock.

Louis pulls off, lips shiny with spit, fingers still wrapped around him. “It’s okay, I want you to. You’re so fucking hot, you have no idea.” He sounds out of breath.

Harry meets his eyes and breathes heavily, trying to comprehend what Louis is saying. His fingers touch Louis’ swollen lips for a moment, “Can’t believe what you do to me.” Then he leans back against the door again, resigning.

It takes embarrassingly few seconds of Louis’ slick tongue pressing against the underside of his cock as he takes him back into his mouth, and Harry comes so hard he hits his head back against the door, knees buckling beneath him.

When he’s recovered enough to open his eyes and drag in a shaky breath, Louis is standing in front of him, one hand steadying Harry at his hip and the other wiping off spit and _Harry’s come_ from his own mouth. He’s so devastatingly beautiful Harry feels something that’s close to arousal, but is so bright it’s nearly painful, bloom in his chest. _What the fuck._

Louis looks extremely pleased with himself as he leans up to kiss Harry on the mouth.

“We’re not done yet, pretty boy,” he smirks and pulls Harry by the hand down the hall. Harry stumbles after him, trying to pull up his trousers with his other hand. When Louis lets go of him he quickly puts his softening cock back into his pants to make himself look a little less utterly fucked out.

They stand at the end of Louis’ bed after Louis has turned on the bedside lamp. The room washed in warm yellow light and how Louis can look so soft and sexy at the same time is beyond Harry.

“Did you like that?” Louis asks and almost looks shy as he starts unbuttoning the few done up buttons of Harry’s shirt.

Harry’s breathing has calmed down enough for him to be able to answer, “You’re incredible.” And he catches the small smile playing on Louis’ lips.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” Louis says before pulling Harry’s shirt off and putting feather light kisses along the swallows on his chest. “I mean… have you _seen_ yourself?” He looks slightly dazed when he takes Harry in and then finally meets his eyes.

Harry smiles and pushes a strand of Louis’ slightly sweat damp fringe behind his ear. Louis’ skin warm beneath his fingers and Harry _wants_ so much he goes slightly dizzy with it. He wants to know what Louis’ skin feels like when it’s covered in a sheen of sweat, wants to know what he sounds like when he feels good, wants to taste him and take him apart and make him feel all of the things Harry feels as he looks at Louis. Harry’s smile falters a bit when he remembers that he doesn’t exactly know how to make that happen.

“You know I’ve… I’ve never… done this before,” he says and is suddenly filled with worry that Louis won’t like that. Won’t want him if he knows. Louis looks up at him and tilts his head to the side.

“Done what? Had sex with me?” He smiles teasingly at Harry. “Because I’ve actually never had sex with you either, so I guess we’re gonna have to wing it.”

Harry lets out a breathy laugh of relief, so grateful for this boy who seems to know exactly how to make him feel at ease. He bites his bottom lip and plays with the hem of Louis’ shirt. “No… I mean, yeah, but like. I’ve never been with a guy before.”

Louis leans his head to the side, looking at him intently, tongue darting out to wet his lips before saying, “But you want to, right? With me?”

Harry just groans and pulls Louis closer to his chest, finally putting his nose behind Louis’ ear and feels the heady scent of soap, sweat and _boy_. It makes his soft cock stir in his pants, new waves of heat travelling up his spine. “Take your shirt off, I want to see you.”

Louis presses a kiss to Harry’s temple before backing away enough to pull his t-shirt over his head. The kiss is such a small thing, but it’s so strangely intimate compared to anything Harry’s ever felt. Then he’s gifted with the view of Louis’ bare chest only a few feet away and his mind sort of stops short. Golden skin expands over narrow shoulders, down to his small soft stomach and around curves so gorgeous Harry’s mouth waters at the thought of tracing them with his tongue. Tattoos are littered in uneven patterns over his chest and arms and Harry wants to spend hours getting to know the lines and shadows of them intimately. He can’t resist curling his hands at Louis’ waist and squeeze lightly at the flesh. “So gorgeous…” he says almost to himself.

Louis drags his fingers trough Harry’s unruly curls and pulls him down into a needy kiss. Their tongues slide together and Louis nibbles at Harry’s bottom lip, like he can’t get enough, just needs _more._ “On the bed. Get naked and on the bed,” Louis rushes out before pushing Harry towards the bed and then pulling the rest of his own clothes off and joining him.

Harry makes his way up to the headboard before hurriedly pulling the rest of his clothes off. He’s not exactly well coordinated but when he’s done he leans back against the pillows as Louis makes his way towards him on the bed, crawling up to him to straddle his hips. And if Harry thought a fully clothed Louis would be the end of him, he’s not quite sure how to handle a lap full of him naked. He doesn’t know where to start looking. His hands hovering in the air as his eyes dart between thick strong thighs, sharp hipbones and the dark patch of hair surrounding Louis' hard cock. To put it lightly, Harry is slightly overwhelmed.

Louis lets him look, studying Harry’s reactions as he bites at his bottom lip. “This okay?” he asks while catching Harry’s hands in his. Harry just nods as he keeps drinking him in. Louis seems to take that as approval to continue because he sets himself down in Harry’s lap properly before leaning forward to kiss him.

Harry moans at the feeling of Louis' arse pressing down on his cock as it grows hard again. His hands seems to have found a purpose now because he disentangles his fingers from Louis’ and reaches to grab Louis' bum with both hands, rocking up against him carefully. “Oh my _god,_ you feel so good. _”_

Skilful hands travel over his torso, pressing down and pulling at him in a way that makes him feel like Louis could mould him whichever way he wanted. When Louis’ thumbs brush over his nipples his whole body shivers at the sensation. If he doesn’t try to pace himself he’s going to have his second orgasm before he’s barely even touched Louis. And he wants to. Wants to make Louis tremble under his hands and wants his thighs to flex around his hips. He keeps one hand on Louis’ arse, quite sure he never wants to let go of it, while the other one pulls Louis closer by the neck, kissing him fiercely.

“Tell me what you want,” Harry says, voice trembling with need.

It takes a moment for Louis to answer, as if he is too caught up in the feeling of Harry beneath him. “ _Fuck._ Touch me. My arse, rub against me. I’m so close already,” he breathes out open mouthed.

Harry doesn’t know how he hasn’t passed out from how fucking turned on he is. He reaches down between them to pull his cock up behind Louis and his other hand grabs at Louis’ arse cheek to let himself get closer. When he feels the head of his cock drag along Louis’ crack he throws his head back against the pillows, can’t believe how good it feels, the precome pooling at the head of his cock making the slide a bit easier. “Fuck. _Your arse._ So fucking perfect… _fuck.”_ He knows he’s only moments from coming for a second time tonight.

Louis puts his head at Harry’s neck, breathing heavily against his throat. When Harry feels his hand moving quickly against Harry’s stomach as he’s jerking himself off, Harry pushes up against him again and when the head of his cock catches on Louis’ rim he comes so hard his whole body is shaking with it.

Through his muddled mind he can hear Louis let out a loud gasp and a litany of _“oh god oh god oh god fuuuuuck”_ before coming over Harry’s chest. Louis collapses on top of him as if he’s completely drained. He’s shaking slightly and breathing harshly.

Harry lets his hands caress over the expanse of Louis’ back as if to sooth him. As if he’s not just as affected. After a few minutes Louis raises himself up with his hands on Harry’s shoulders and Harry does _not_ expect the frown that’s settled over his delicate features. “You, Mr. ‘I’ve never done this before’, have absolutely no right making me come that hard. What the fuck.”

Harry only stares back at him at first, completely taken off guard in his sex hazed state of mind. Then Louis cracks up in a smile so blindingly bright it feels like the sun just decided to make an appearance in Louis’ bedroom in the middle of the night. Harry’s stomach flutters aggressively but before he’s had a chance to answer, Louis pushes his hand to the side of Harry’s face as he climbs off of him. “Ridiculous, utterly ridiculous you are,” Louis mutters. Harry can’t help but staring at the image of Louis’ arse, covered in _his_ come, as Louis leaves the room.

After a few minutes Louis returns with a damp towel that he gives to Harry as he, still naked and absolutely gorgeous, makes himself comfortable on the bed beside him. Harry cleans himself off before folding the towel and putting it on the floor. For the second time tonight Harry is filled with uncertainty. The idea of leaving Louis now feels so wrong, but what if that’s what Louis wants him to do? Harry knows he might’ve just had the best night of his life. That meeting Louis and feeling his skin beneath his fingers might’ve changed things on a bigger scale for him. Life altering. Mind blowing. But maybe this was a one time thing for Louis. As simple as getting up and going to work in the morning or taking a walk. “Do you want me to leave?” he asks carefully, not daring to look at Louis until after several moments of silence have passed.

Louis looks at him, biting his bottom lip like he’s contemplating something. “Do you want to?” he asks eventually.

“No,” Harry whispers. It’s so quiet in the room and he doesn’t want to disturb the atmosphere. As if the slightest change in the air could push Louis away.

Louis sits up next to him, puts one of his curls behind his ear and then softly holds his cheeks in his hands. “Then I want you to stay, pretty,” he says and his eyes are so warm and lovely that Harry thinks for the umpteenth time this night that he’s simply impossible.

 

\---

 

Waking up the next morning is extremely disorienting. There’s someone pressed up against him and Harry can tell he’s not in his own bed even before opening his eyes. This isn’t a new concept to him, but the strange feeling in his stomach definitely is.

He opens his eyes to find a sleeping Louis, hair a mess, mouth slightly open and long eyelashes against golden cheeks, and the feeling in his stomach explodes. He’s got a headache throbbing behind his eyes and a mix of both of theirs morning breaths filling his nose, but Harry can’t focus on anything but the fact that even now Louis makes his heart beat erratically in his chest and his stomach fills with butterflies. And he realises that before last night, Harry had never felt them wreak havoc inside him. It’s as if Louis himself has willed the butterflies into existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	2. 2.1. Harry leaves on Sunday morning

_The more that I know you, the more I want to_  
_Something inside me has changed_  
_I was so much younger yesterday_

 _I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you_  
_Don't need no butterflies when you give me the whole damn zoo_  
_By the way, by the way, you do things to my body_  
_I didn't know that I was starving till I tasted you_

_\- Hailee Steinfeld_

_\------------------------------_

 

Harry leaves on Sunday morning. Louis impossibly soft and warm. The gentle kiss they share make Harry’s cheeks burn. He leaves Louis on Sunday morning and Monday is a lesson in restraint. By Tuesday he can hear Louis’ number in his phone, call to him like sirens luring sailors into the dark stormy sea. He might be a _tad_ bit dramatic but Harry feels like he has every right. He also feels like he should, maybe, be freaking out to a much larger extent, but so far it’s all been a mess of _how did that happen, how is he real, oh god his waist, his thighs, his lips, when will I feel him again, will I feel him again, I need to feel him. Again and again._

Harry really can’t be blamed for losing his patience. Exactly four minutes and 32 seconds before his afternoon meeting, he gives in to the on going loop of _text him, call him, see him_ that’s been terrorising his mind all morning.

**Hi! So, apparently I very sneakily got your number the other night. How are you? xx Harry**

He gets an answer just as he has sat down in the conference room where his boss is bound to, for the next two hours or so, repeat things he’s heard _at least_ seventy three times before.

**_hah well. i guess if you call telling me you need to “check something” on my phone for “science purposes” being sneaky, then yeah, i guess you’re right! ;) worked overtime last week so i have the afternoon off, you?_ **

**Yes, very sneaky. Much stealth. Oh god, I’d kill for that, I have a boring meeting ahead of me, distraction please? :)**

**_distraction huh? ;)  
how about i tell you what i have planned for the rest of the day? _ **

The very not-racy-at-all text has Harry sneaking glances around the table to see if any of his co- workers have noticed him texting under the table while also trying to appear to be listening. No one is paying him any mind though, so he types out seven different versions of an answer before sending one. One that decidedly _not_ pays any attention to the fact that a ridiculous flirty smiley has his heart beating out of his chest.

**Sure, what’s up?**

**_it’s all your fault really. can’t stop thinking about your goddamned hands so after spending the last couple days half hard i thought i’d give in and have a good wank :)_ **

Ok. Fuck. Ok. What. No. What. Harry’s brain might have stopped working for 5 full seconds before it’s able to squeeze out, _WHO IS THIS GUY?_ very loudly inside the very fragile little mind of his. He’s blushing furiously and refuses to admit to himself exactly how flustered he is. Tries to ignore how it feels like he just entered a territory completely foreign to him. Which. He kind of did. But. Still. He has no idea what he’s doing but he doesn’t want to leave Louis hanging either so he just…

**Are you serious??  
(tell me more?)**

**_i’m always serious about serious matters curly  
well. ok so. like i said. your hands. especially your fingers. can’t stop thinking about how long they are. how good they’d feel_ **

**Oh god. You’re gonna be the end of me**

After a few moments of hesitation he also sends,

**Don’t stop**

Harry doesn’t even want to think about what would happen if one of his co- workers found out about what he’s doing when he’s really supposed to listen to the new regulations concerning the Youth Housing Strategy. For some reason that doesn’t make him less eager to get Louis’ answer.

**_want to have your hands all over me. fingers in my mouth, pulling my hair, holding me down  
would you like that?_ **

**Yes. Very much. You felt so good. Haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. About your mouth, your thighs, that incredible arse of yours**

Harry might be equally horrified and aroused at his own words. Jesus Christ he’s not used to this.

**_you really liked it didn’t you? my arse_ **

**You have no idea**

**_you felt so good rubbing against it. would you like to put it in me?_ **

Okay so Harry is officially not breathing anymore. This is way too much for anyone to be able to deal with, he’s sure. He’s also so painfully hard he might pass out, palms sweating, his heart beating so wildly in his chest he fears his co- workers might hear it. His phone is shaking in his hand as he types out:

**I’m sure I’d love to**

**_i think you would. i know i would. fuck, it gets me so hot just thinking about it  
how about you come over here after work and do it?_ **

Harry coughs into his fist to keep himself from letting out a whimper. Nevena sitting across from him gives him a worried look and raises a questioning eyebrow. Harry just gives her a weak smile and tries his hardest not to slide down onto the floor in embarrassment. What the fuck is he doing? He’s _at work. In a_ _meeting._ And Louis Tomlinson, aka the most gorgeous human being to have ever existed ever is asking him to come over to. _Put it in him._ So.

**If I bloody survive till then jesus**

**_i’ll even get myself ready for you. all you have to do is get your pretty self over here asap_ **

And what in the bloody fucking hell _does that even mean?!_

**Be there in 2 hours**

Is all he types out because he’s not sure he’s capable of anything more. He’s not sure what the fuck just happened. How he went from having a perfectly boring meeting to _this._ But then he also thought of himself as straight just a few days ago so maybe this is how it is now. Maybe nothing makes sense and maybe breathtakingly beautiful boys like Louis asks him to come over after work. Just you know. To fuck. All completely normal casual things one might do a Tuesday afternoon.  

**\---**

Harry has just endured the longest two hours of his entire life. Two hours struggling to focus on anything but the pressure of his annoyingly hard cock trapped in his tight jeans. The bike ride over to Louis’ perhaps the most uncomfortable and ungraceful affair ever. Every time he managed to calm down enough for his cock to stop pushing against his zipper, flashes of Louis naked in his lap appeared as soon as he blinked and he was back to square one. Now he’s standing outside the same door he left behind him two days ago and it’s like his mind just now decided to catch up with him. On the other side of the door there’s a boy who he’s not been able to stop thinking about. A boy who is supposedly very ready to have sex with him. Unless of course said boy was just joking and Harry’s about to make an absolute twat of himself. Cock still standing proud and all.

He rings the doorbell.

After a few moments, (plenty of time for Harry to be able to consider turning around and start running) the door opens and Harry’s mind does that short circuit thing again. Because the Louis that so stubbornly has occupied his mind lately has _nothing_ on this one. The Louis standing in front of him is wearing grey joggers and a loose black vest, showing off his sides and collarbones. He’s newly shaved, his fringe slightly wet and swept over his forehead. And Harry’s not sure how, but somehow he’d forgotten about the bright lightening flashing in those blue eyes.

Louis smiles at him. Harry stops breathing.

“Hi there pretty,” Louis says leaning against the door as he steps to the side to let him in. He looks soft and sweet and absolutely lethal.

“Hi,” is all Harry’s able to get out before he walks past him and Louis closes the door.

“Get here alright?” Louis asks and stands in front of him. Harry’s nerves go from _I’m about to pass out_ to _I’m about to pass out but I might not mind even a little bit._

“Yeah, got here in one piece at least. Might’ve been… a little distracted,” Harry mumbles and bites his bottom lip. He doesn’t know how to act. What to do with his hands or even where to look. It’s a very different thing being so close to Louis, being back in his flat, when he’s had two days to go nuts with thoughts of the other boy. When the intimacy of the night before doesn’t hover in every corner of the narrow hallway. It’s also very different from sending texts about Louis’ arse from the safety of his office. Who would’ve thought?

As if he can sense Harry’s discomfort, Louis steps closer, his small hands playing with the hem of Harry’s jumper as he leans in to peck his lips gently. “I’m glad you made it,” he smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling. How someone can be so terrifying and disarming at the same time is beyond Harry.

Harry quickly toes off his shoes and shrugs off his coat before he puts his hands at Louis’ neck. And even if he’s only met him once before, it’s like his body remembers something at the touch. Remembers Louis’ light laughter, the feeling of his hands pressed against Harry’s back, his lips kissing Harry’s neck. _Fuck he’s actually real_ and then the importance of _closer, more, closer, please_ comes back to him. He leans down to kiss Louis again and Louis opens up for him. Tongues sliding together slowly, getting to know each other all over again. Excitement vibrates like a current beneath his skin and when they separate it’s like Harry can finally breathe again. “Hi,” he says and smiles so broadly his dimples must be making an appearance.

Louis laughs, “Hi there… did I freak you out a bit with the texts?” his eyes sparkling.

“Ehrm maybe a bit… I really liked them though,” Harry says and lets his thumb trace the sharp smooth line of Louis’ cheekbone.

“Good, because I wasn’t joking. I’d really like for you to put it in me,” and he’s so fucking cheeky and sexy and ridiculous Harry can feel the butterflies violently awakening in his stomach.

Harry kisses him again and it turns urgent and desperate quickly, their hands grabbing at each other. Louis lets out the tiniest whimpers from the back of his throat and it drives Harry absolutely mad with want. “Anything… anything you want,” he breathes out heavily against Louis’ lips.

“Come on then,” Louis answers and pulls him by the hand towards his bedroom, the act very similar to the way he did the same thing just a few days ago. Harry follows just as eagerly this time.

When they enter the bedroom Harry closes the distance between them instantly. His hands sneaking inside Louis’ vest at the sides, feeling warm smooth skin beneath his fingers. It feels even better than he remembered. Louis pushes himself up against Harry as if to make it easier to explore his skin. “ _God,_ your fucking _hands,”_ Louis nearly whines as Harry squeezes at the softness of his waist.

They move towards the bed, Louis scurrying backwards over it as Harry moves above him to settle between his thighs. _Those thighs._ He leans down over him, his elbows on either side of Louis’ narrow shoulders, his fingers going into the soft hair behind Louis’ ears. Louis’ looks up at him, eyes electric and pupils blown, but he doesn’t seem to mind how Harry has slowed down for a moment, taking him in. “You’re so fucking gorgeous. I didn’t hear a single word they said in that meeting,” Harry says and feels himself flush all the way to the tips of his ears at the confession.

Louis pulls Harry closer by the hips, pressing his hardening cock up against Harry’s. “Can’t believe you came, haven’t been able to stop thinking about the other night,” Louis says before letting out a groan, his head falling back against the pillows as he pushes his groin up towards Harry.

Harry can’t resist the way Louis’ throat is exposed by the action and leans down to trail nibbling kisses from his collarbone up to his ear, his tongue teasing at the earlobe. He starts to pull at Louis’ vest, wanting to feel more skin, and Louis pushes at Harry’s chest to be able to sit up and take it off. Harry drags his own jumper over his head at the same time and when he leans down again he can’t help moaning at the delicious feeling of Louis’ bare chest and stomach against his.

It shouldn’t feel this good. Just feeling Louis under him - chest heaving, hands gripping at Harry’s biceps, his eyes filled with want - is better than anything Harry’s ever experienced. It’s better than everyone he’s ever shared a bed with. It’s like being close to Louis is something else entirely. Like it’s not about knowing from experience how to curve his fingers to elicit a moan or about telling the other person how to squeeze his cock to get him close to the edge. This is instinctual. It’s not about knowing, it’s about _exploring._ About how feeling the way Louis reacts to him is even better than how impossibly good Louis’ hands feel on him. It’s absolutely nerve wracking, but Harry never wants to stop.

They kiss deeply, Louis pulling at the hair tie holding his hair up in a loose bun. Harry’s hair falls down over his shoulders, hanging around their faces like a curtain. Louis drags his fingers through it, scratching slightly at his scalp, sending shivers of pleasure down Harry’s spine. Harry smoothes his hands down Louis’ sides to the waistband of his joggers, pulling carefully, asking permission with his eyes locked on Louis’.

Louis nods slightly but then says, “I’m… I was serious… before,” panting between the words. Harry can feel his eyebrows furrowing, not sure what Louis means. “I got myself ready for you,” Louis continues as if that would clear all confusion.

When Harry still doesn’t seem to fully get it, Louis smiles sweetly and pushes his own joggers down. “Just don’t freak out,” he says and if there’s one way to ensure that Harry will do just that it’s by saying those words. Harry’s heart is beating wildly in his chest and for a moment he feels lost, like he’s not entirely sure what’s about to happen, but Louis (gloriously naked and _hard_ Louis) leans up to kiss him again and his worrying thoughts slow down a bit.

They continue to kiss heatedly and it’s not until Harry’s also naked, his hands grabbing Louis’ ridiculously gorgeous arse, that Harry understands what Louis was talking about. As he squeezes the firm flesh, his fingers brush against something between Louis’ arse cheeks and just the slight touch, the _implication_ of what it means, has Harry’s whole body stopping in motion, his eyes shutting tightly. Doing everything he can to not shoot his load all over Louis. “Oh god,” he says, voice shaking, and he’s absolutely mortified by his own reaction. Mortified and so turned on he has trouble focusing. “It’s… you… _fuck.”_

Louis smiles smugly, clearly pleased with the reaction. “I told you,” he says and after a beat asks Harry if it’s alright. _Alright._ Harry doesn’t know. Harry doesn’t know anything. He is so clearly in over his head. He knows he told Louis about how much he loves his arse. Told him he wants to be inside him. But once again he’s hit by how entirely different it is _thinking_ about something and actually _doing_ it _._ The idea of feeling Louis all around him, of being so close, feeling him come apart beneath him, is more arousing than anything. But now when he’s got Louis right here, a fucking plug up his arse, it’s like the whole concept is too overwhelming, too much. What if he hurts him? What if he can’t make it good for him? What if he comes before even entering him? What does he even _do_ with that thing already filling Louis up? His thoughts are spiralling but he’s brought back by Louis’ hand on his cheek, forcing him to meet his eyes.

“Hey… calm down, it’s okay…” Louis says softly, hand caressing the side of his face and Harry can’t help but to nuzzle against his palm. It grounds him slightly. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want. We can just… do whatever, okay? This isn’t. If it’s too much…”

“No,” Harry says because suddenly the idea of being inside Louis feels so important. Like he was just having a minor crisis a moment ago but now the idea of losing this, of not feeling Louis like this, makes him feel even worse. “No, I want to, I’m just…” he shakes his head slightly, kisses the inside of Louis’ wrist. “I’m just a little overwhelmed, just give me a moment.”

Louis holds Harry against him, lets Harry trace patterns with his lips over his chest. “I don’t mean to push you, I just… ” he starts explaining and Harry shakes his head again.

“You’re not pushing me. I want this. I want you. I just can’t believe how fucking fit you are, everything about you is so fucking intense I’m losing my mind a bit,” Harry says and feels himself blushing again. He’s scared he’s being too honest, too intimate with his words. That this isn’t what Louis wants. Some inexperienced stuttering fool who is two seconds from coming at any given moment. Harry is honestly taken aback by how strongly he’s reacting to all this. He’s 23 years old and he’s had plenty of sex before. But all of a sudden it’s like he’s 16 again and doesn’t know how to function so close to another person. _Not that it ever felt like this at 16._ He pushes the thought away and takes a deep breath, knowing he needs to get out of his own head if he’s ever going to be able to do this. And he wants this. Wants Louis so badly he’s shaking with it. He lets out a breathy laugh to diffuse the tension, “Okay erhm… tell me. Tell me what to do. I want… I want to make it good for you.”

Louis nods and says “Comere,” pulling him in for a kiss. “Just touch me, you feel so fucking good.”

Harry lets one of his hands go back around Louis’ thigh to palm at his arse. He focuses on the feeling of the soft hair covering Louis’ legs. Breathes in the smell of him, fresh from the shower but with a musky undertone. Tasting him as he puts his mouth over a nipple, making Louis arch into it. Thinks that maybe it isn’t about knowing exactly what to do, but to feel it, to see Louis respond to his touch and to answer with his fingers, his mouth and his body pressing against him. When Louis digs his fingers into his shoulder blades it makes heat flood down to the base of his cock, making it jump obscenely between them. Harry presses his lips heatedly against Louis’ before sitting back on his haunches.

He takes in Louis’ golden skin against the white sheets, the tattoos littered over his chest, lips swollen from kissing - his pink tongue darting out to wet them. Harry absentmindedly runs his hands up Louis’ thick thighs, his eyes landing on Louis’ swollen cock resting against his stomach. The sight makes his mouth water. Louis moves his hips in miniscule circles, as if he’s growing restless under Harry’s gaze. Harry runs his fingers up the underside of Louis’ cock and it’s so hot and smooth to the touch. The experience so entirely different than touching himself. He wraps his hand around him and swipes his thumb carefully over the head, catching a bead of precome at the slit. Louis moves his hips into the touch and lets out a gasps. It’s so fucking _erotic_ Harry’s breathless with it.

“Tell me what you want,” Harry says again as he starts working his fist over Louis’ cock slowly.

It takes a moment before Louis answers, his eyes closed and Adams apple bobbing in his throat. “Grab the lube,” he says and throws his arm to the side, hand flipping lazily towards the bottle on the nightstand. “Give me… _fuuuuck,”_ he interrupts himself when Harry rubs his thumb against the sensitive bundle of nerves at the underside of the head of his cock. After taking a few deep breaths he continues, “Okay, fuck… lie down,” Louis says and squirms beneath him to make him move.

Harry does as told and lies down against the pillows. Watching as Louis snags the lube from him and grabs a condom from the bedside drawer. Louis pours a generous amount of lube on the fingers of his own right hand before giving the bottle back to Harry. He leans forward over Harry’s chest, tongue tracing the shell of Harry’s ear, “Get yourself nice and slick for me, will ya?”

Louis sits up, gives him a cheeky smile and a raised eyebrow and Harry just. _Throbs_. It feels like his whole body is vibrating with the effect Louis has on him and it all manifests through the precome leaking generously from his cock. Which is. Also a new sensation. He’s never been this fucking _wet_ before. Louis, who is basically still a stranger, seems to be able to play his body like an instrument he’s mastered for years, while Harry himself has barely passed the beginners course.

When Louis gives him a soft kiss and reaches his lubed up fingers behind himself, Harry scrambles to follow Louis’ request. He finds the condom next to them on the bed, rips the package with his teeth and does his best to reach around Louis and put it on. It’s not the easiest task, since Louis is sitting over his stomach, hands reaching behind himself and Harry can’t think about what it might look like. What his small fingers are doing. What a picture they must make. Harry a shaking, stuttering fucking mess - hair everywhere, eyes glassy and unable to focus on any one thing - and Louis on top of him - bottom lip between sharp little teeth, chest heaving but with sure hands preparing himself for Harry. _Good god and everyone fucking else._

Harry manages to get some lube on his hand and slicks himself up, hand as effective and quick as possible, because this might end too soon if he’s not careful. When he’s done he tries to relax into the bed, wipes his hand on the sheets as he struggles to keep up with what Louis is doing. Harry tries to not be overwhelmed by the sounds Louis makes, small gasps mixed with whimpers. The smell of him, strong and so incredibly fucking arousing. His thighs holding himself up over Harry, his cock dark pink and wet at the tip. _Don’t come yet don’t come yet don’t come yet._

Louis looks down at him, “You ready?”, but he doesn’t look as cheeky as he did before. His fringe is stuck to his forehead, mouth hanging open, pink and inviting. Harry nods and he wants Louis to kiss him, but then Louis reaches his arm further back and with a hiss he pulls out the plug and tosses it on the bed. And Harry doesn’t dare to even look at it. His cheeks burning because that _thing_ was just inside Louis and how the _fuck_ is this something that happens in his life? How did his sex life go from casual hook ups with pretty girls to life altering bloody _sexting_ and _anal plugs_ and _Louis fucking Tomlinson?_ He doesn’t know. It’s a lot to take in. But so is also Louis lowering himself onto Harry’s cock and then nothing else in the entire world matters anymore. Louis looks absolutely obscene, his head thrown back, neck endless and throat bobbing.

“Shitshitshitshit, you’re big,” he says through clenched teeth and Harry wants to do _something_ but he’s not sure what. He places his hands at Louis’ waist to steady him, his thumbs caressing his sharp hipbones soothingly. But his fingers are trembling. Because Louis is so tight around him, so tight and warm and unbelievable. And when Louis has lowered himself all the way down on his cock, Harry can’t take it anymore. He reaches for Louis’ neck and pulls him down into a scorching kiss and Louis gives him what he needs. Tongues wet and insistent against each other. When Louis starts rocking his hips in slow but sharp thrusts, Harry feels tears burn behind his eyelids and he lets out an incredulous laugh at the feeling because it doesn’t make any sense at all.

Louis looks at him, still moving, “You okay?, holding himself up on Harry’s shoulders.

Harry laughs again, “Yeah,” he breathes in wetly, “Fuck yes, just… feels so good. Don’t know what you’re doing to me.” He throws an arm over his eyes to wipe away the wetness. Embarrassed but also too far gone to really care.

“You feel so good, can’t believe how fit you are,” Louis says before kissing him again. His hips start snapping quickly and Harry rocks his hips up to meet Louis’ thrusts. After a few moments, Louis tilts his pelvis at a slightly different angle and then he lets out a low groan that raises goose bumps all over Harry’s arms. “Right there, fuck, right _there_ ,” Louis breathes out against Harry’s lips and Harry nods eagerly because he’ll do anything to make Louis sound like that again. He seems to be hitting the same spot at least with every other thrust because Louis’ movements become erratic on top of him, his hand curling around his cock to jerk himself off. When Harry wraps his hand over Louis’ smaller one and gives him a small squeeze, just the way he likes it himself, Louis goes still. A deep groan escapes his lips and his thighs tremble around Harry as he shoots his come all over Harry’s chest and their joined hands. His arse squeezing down so hard on Harry’s cock that Harry has to shut his eyes closed, red burning heat colouring the inside of his eyelids as he comes hard into the condom.

When Harry comes to, Louis is propped up with his chin on the back of his hand on Harry’s chest. Tracing lazy patterns in the soft hair there. His cheeks are red, fringe matted to his forehead, eyes crinkled and glittering. The sight of him makes the tears well up Harry’s eyes again and roll down over his temples. Harry lets out a wet laugh, because _holy fucking fuck he’s beautiful_ and Harry feels like he’s just been fucked out of his bloody mind.

Louis smiles, “I gather you enjoyed that?” and there is the cheek again _, Jesus Christ_ , he’s a lot to take in. Harry feels his whole stomach and chest fill with uproarious trembling laughter and he slams a hand over his whole face in disbelief.

“ _Yes,_ I sure as hell did,” he agrees and lets out a shaky breath to calm himself down. “I’m not sure what the fuck just happened, but I did enjoy it.”

Louis smiles at him, “Got a taste of The Tommo is what you did,” he says before breaking out in laughter himself.

“Oh god, shut _up_ ,” Harry says and presses his head into the pillow, because his cheeks burn with how ridiculous and wonderful the boy on top of him is.

Louis just laughs at him as if Harry’s the one who just said something embarrassing but winces slightly as he lifts himself up and off of Harry. He drops down next to him on the bed, “You go get us a towel, I’m fucking _spent,_ ” he says and slaps at Harry’s chest.

Harry actually tries to move at first but realises he might need another moment before all of his limbs will cooperate, “Erhm, yeah, just a moment… I can barely move,” and Louis snorts a laugh at him again. Harry thinks he wouldn’t mind Louis laughing at him on a regular basis.

 

\----

 

When they have both cleaned up and gotten dressed again, it’s somehow nearing 8 o’clock and Harry’s stomach is rumbling with hunger. Louis orders them Indian food from around the corner and they sit at the small kitchen table, waiting for the food to arrive. Harry realises this is the first time he’s even considered what Louis’ flat looks like. It’s bigger than his own and a lot messier, but it’s still nice. Both the kitchen and living room quite large with magazines, cameras, drawing materials, clothes and video games strewn all over the place. It looks like creative chaos. Harry loves it.   

Harry also can’t stop staring at Louis and is fucked silly enough to not care. His body feels like a delicious mixture of sore and relaxed but his brain and stomach is another story. His stomach is hosting what feels like The Big Butterfly rebellion of the 21st century and his brain is a mushy mess of _he’s so pretty, does he want me to leave, I should leave, I’m hungry, he’s so pretty, how is he real, what is happening to me._

Louis just stares back at him, head slightly tilted, a small smirk planted on his lips. “I think some food will do you good,” he concludes before starting to pull out plates and glasses from the cupboards.

The food arrives shortly after and they eat eagerly while Louis talks with his mouth full about an assignment at work. Harry finds out that even though Louis made some self -deprecating comments about his job the last time they met, he really loves what he does for a living. He seems to enjoy the creative side of it just as much as pitching his ideas to clients and working with his team. “I mean, it’s not like we’re a big deal or anything, but we’ve got some really cool clients and everyone is great, except Nick, because Nick is a dick. Like sure, I love the lad, but Jesus he needs to know his place,” Louis rambles on and Harry is mesmerised by his way of making a rather mundane story about his job seem like the most thrilling thing ever. Harry supposes it helps him in his line of work as well. It sure helps him in keeping Harry’s attention on him to a degree where it becomes rather complicated for Harry to put his fork in his mouth without stabbing his own chin in the process.

After they’ve finished eating Harry feels something like dread settle in the pit of his stomach. He hates how nervous he is around Louis, like he’s stumbling around aimlessly trying to figure out what Louis wants. As Louis puts their dishes in the dishwasher he mentally slaps himself for being such a nervous wreck. “Me and a few friends are going out for a pint this weekend, if you wanted you could come with?” he asks and tries not to wince at his awkwardness.

Louis turns around and gives him a crinkly eyed smile, “Yeah? Sounds fun, sure,” and how does he make everything seem so simple? Harry grins in response, trying not to show how fucking relieved he is.

When he has put on his coat and is ready to leave, Louis comes up to him, barefooted and soft looking in his joggers and a t- shirt. He gives one of Harry’s curls a tug before leaning up to kiss him. “See you this weekend then, pretty. Gimme a call or summat,” he says.

“Yeah, you will and I’ll do that,” he smiles and before he can stop himself he leans down to breathe in at the soft hair behind Louis’ ear. Harry gives him a small kiss in the same spot and when he pulls back Louis slowly opens his eyes, bites his bottom lip and just nods quietly. Harry swallows hard and turns around to leave before he says something ridiculously stupid like “Can’t wait,” or “Don’t know how I’ll be able to stop thinking about you.”

It’s all he can think about on the way home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	3. 2.2. Louis pulls

Louis pulls his jacket tighter around himself as he steps off the bus. Takes out a cigarette and lights it before he starts walking towards the pub. Towards Harry. They have been texting since Tuesday and Louis _knows_ he shouldn’t be so endeared by someone he met just a week ago. But he _is._ Harry might be the fittest person he’s ever met. All dimples and curls, long legs and broad shoulders. But he’s also so sweet and tells silly jokes that make Louis’ stomach rumble with laughter. He’s a bloody _social worker,_ which shouldn’t be as attractive as it is, but _damn_. Maybe Louis has a weird kink, so what.

He stubs out the cigarette with his foot before taking a deep breath and entering the crowded pub. Looks around to see if he can spot a mop of brown curls and when he does he can’t help the smile that breaks out all over his face. Because like. _Hello. Yes please and thank you._ Harry’s sitting with his friends at a table in the back of the pub and he’s too bloody gorgeous for Louis’ own good. His curls hanging in ringlets down his shoulders. Wearing a white, silky shirt with black hearts all over it. The sleeves are rolled up, showing off his arms (Louis might already be drooling) and the shirt is unbuttoned down to the centre of his chest. He’s also making his way over to greet Louis, long legs wrapped in tight black jeans. _Ungh._

“Hi,” he says in his slow deep drawl, dimples already popping. So unfair.

“Hi, pretty,” Louis says and looks up at him through his eyelashes. “Fancy seeing you here,” he smirks and _he knows_ he’s being silly and cheesy but with the way Harry practically beams at him it’s not exactly an issue. Harry reaches for his wrist and pulls him a little closer. _Fucking sexy arse fucker._ Louis nearly rolls his eyes at himself and leans up to give Harry a quick peck on the cheek. Can’t have him thinking he’s got Louis wrapped around his not-so-little finger already. Louis tries not to think about the amount of embarrassingly eager texts he’s sent over the past four days. Not even that many, just. A few. Whenever he thought of something that may make Harry laugh. Which. Might be a lot of things because the lad is so easy to please but. _Still_.

“I already bought you a pint, but if you want something else I can get that as well,” Harry says and his cheeks turn pink. Like the bloody sweet briar roses in Louis’ Mum’s back yard. _Pretty pretty pretty pretty._

“I’d love a pint, thank you” Louis answers and walks with Harry back to the table. He recognizes Leigh Anne and Liam from last weekend and shakes their hands in greeting. “Hi again, thanks for having me,” he says and they say it’s nice seeing him again. He turns to the strangers at the table and shakes their hands too. “Hi, I’m Louis, nice to meet you.” The lad called Ed seems nice enough, but he gets a strange vibe from the girl introducing herself as Vicky. He shrugs it off before sitting down next to Harry. 

As soon as everyone has settled after Louis’ arrival, he zeroes in on Harry. He can’t really help it. Harry turns towards him as well, their thighs pressed together. “How was your day, you get anything done?” Harry asks low enough that only Louis can hear him.

“Well, I was _going to_ but then I ended up talking to Mum and the girls for like 2 hours, completely messed up my busy schedule,” Louis says around a smile. “How about you? Have a good day?”

“Oh really, I bet you were all torn up about that,” Harry says, dimples deep and eyes sparkling teasingly. “My day was good. Did some cooking, so now I’ve got lunch boxes ready for next week,” he continues and Louis just gives him a deadpan look.

“You disgust me, Styles. What 23 year old cooks in advance? That’s just ridiculous.” But then Harry grins at him as if Louis just gave him a compliment and Louis cracks up.

“It was delicious too, my favourite lasagne recipe, bet you’d love it,” he answers proudly. _Dork. Cute pretty lovely dork._

Louis can feel himself go soft, as if he’s only able to tease Harry to a certain extent. _What the fuck._ “Guess you’ll have to cook it for me some time then,” he says and Harry nods.

“Yeah, I guess.”

And then someone is clearing their throat loudly at the other side of the table and they both look up at the same time, meeting Liam’s amused eyes. Louis doesn’t know why it feels like they just got _caught._ “So. Like I said, Louis is friends with Niall as well, so it’s a bit strange you haven’t met before” Liam says gesturing between Ed and Louis. Louis looks confusedly at Ed for moment before something drops.

“Oooh! You’re _that_ Ed!? Niall’s Ed? Like, summer house Ed?” Louis gasps, eyes wide, jabbing his finger at Ed’s face. How fucking tiny is the universe again?

Ed laughs at him, trying to avoid getting his eye poked out, “Yeah, that’s me. A bit weird meeting you like this, like, always heard about you over the years but we never got introduced.” Louis nods in agreement.

“Heard only good things, I’m sure,” he smiles his best annoyingly charming smile, eyelashes fluttering. They all laugh and Louis basks in the attention but he can actually _feel_ Harry smile next to him and that makes him want to bring out the big guns. Only. Maybe. Not scare him off quite yet. Maybe. _Calm down._

“Yes of course, what else?” Ed winks at him. “How do you two know each other then?” he asks and tilts his beer bottle towards Louis and Harry.

Louis looks over at Harry, unsure of how to answer and as soon as their eyes lock it’s like a small bubble surrounds them again. A silent conversation happening between their glinting eyes. They both smile and after a few moments Louis remembers the question and turns back to Ed. “Erhm, we… met last weekend?” he says and feels his cheeks burn slightly. And _urgh,_ because Louis doesn’t even _do_ blushing. It’s not his kind of thing.

“Yeah, guess we just. Got along very well so, yeah,” Harry continues, making it sound like he’s lying through his teeth. Which he isn’t really, but he might not be the smoothest pearl. It’s so fucking adorable Louis wants to throw up.

Liam and Leigh Anne who were there to witness their first meeting laughs at their awkwardness and Ed frowns but joins in on the laughter. “O-kay? What am I missing here?”

Harry blushes and ducks his head into Louis’ shoulder, leaving Louis to deal with this on his own. _Thanks Curly, it’s **your** bloody friends. Well if that’s how you want it.  
_

“Got along proper well I’d say, made this one come twice that night,” Louis points his thumb at Harry and oh wow, he really needs to learn how to shut the fuck up.

Harry bursts out laughing, a loud squawk of a thing, and hides his face in his hands. “Oh my _god,”_ he says, sounding both pleased and horrified. It’s unexpectedly thrilling.

Ed and the girl, Vicky, look at the spectacle in front of them with disbelieving eyes. 

“You… hooked up?” Ed asks and looks from Louis to Harry and back again, seemingly not expecting Harry to be able to answer. 

Louis nudges Harry playfully with an elbow in his side, “Yeah, lots of fun,” and his voice does that disgustingly soft thing again as he tries to get Harry to look at him.

Harry takes a deep breath, scrunching his nose and raking his hand through his hair as if to sort himself out a bit. “Yeah, lots of fun,” he repeats and it feels like his smile is meant only for Louis and _Christ_ if that isn’t a good feeling.

When neither of them deny or make a joke of it, Ed seems to catch on and says, “Oh, that’s… that’s great, good catch Harry. Cheers,” raising his bottle. Harry and Louis both laugh, but when Louis catches Vicky’s gaze over the table he is _definitely_ getting the stink eye now and _urgh god go away he’s with me_ is what goes through Louis’ head as he raises an eyebrow questioningly at her. She turns away and Louis tries to let it go.

With the exception of Vicky, who doesn’t actually say that much, Harry’s friends are lovely. They are laid back and easy going and they balance Louis’ slightly hyper side out perfectly. Harry is a constant warm presence at his side, making jokes and charming the pants off of everyone even though he’s probably already got them hooked. Louis tries to be social with the others as well, talking to Leigh Anne about her art and with Ed and Liam about the festivals he went to this summer. But it’s difficult to stay completely focused when all of a sudden Harry’s long fingers are tracing patterns over the back of his hand, or when Harry smiles softly, long curls framing his gorgeous face rudely, as Louis talks about how he loves to draw. And it feels a bit like hanging out with a group of his own friends at the pub, but it’s also so different because there’s never been a Harry before. Since Louis and his ex broke up over three years ago he’s shagged a few people sure, but it’s been in mutual agreement that this is it and all it ever will be. And this. This thing with Harry is something else. He’s not used to having someone who’s so attuned to him. Who seems just as drawn to him as he is to them. Like they’re clearly there because of each other, the others are just a fun bonus. And it’s getting to Louis’ head a bit. Because Harry is _so fucking pretty_ and when he looks at you it’s like you’re the centre of entire universe. It would make the toughest man weak in the knees, even while sitting down.

 

\---

 

Leigh Anne turns out to be a fucking riot. She’s animated and creative and Louis _loves_ people who are so open and friendly from the start. When Harry leaves the table to buy them new pints Louis happily finds himself in her company. They have a lot in common and they talk about her next exhibition excitedly. It’s not until she leaves for the restroom that Louis notices Harry has been gone for quite a while. Louis sips his beer and spots him over by the bar. Harry is talking to a girl and if it wasn’t for the way she’s _all over him_ , Louis wouldn’t have taken notice. But he does. An ugly feeling settling in his stomach because _no._ He doesn’t do jealousy. It was even one of the main issues in his last relationship, because his ex _wanted him_ to be jealous and Louis just never saw a point to it. If you’re with someone you trust them, or you’re better off on your own. So the tightness he feels in his chest when the girl leans in to say something in Harry’s ear - it has to _go_. Also because he met Harry only a week ago and he’s the last person who’s got any kind of claim over his affections.

That’s of course when Vicky decides it’s a good time to acknowledge his existence and she leans in close to him to make herself heard. “Yeah, good luck with that one,” she bloody _smirks_. “He’s such a player, been with everyone who’ll have him. I’m sure this, _thing,_ with you is just an experiment to him. Probably thinks he’s _edgy_ trying it with a bloke.” 

And Jesus fucking _Christ,_ Louis wants to punch her. He looks at her in disgust. He can’t believe how someone can talk about Harry like that. “Look, _Vicky,_ I don’t know what crawled up your arse but just because it isn’t Harry doesn’t mean you get to act like a fucking dickhead,” he spits out at her and he’s sort of grateful he manages to avoid calling her a twat because. No. But still.

She looks like a storm cloud as she leaves the table, clearly not pleased with what he said. _Good._ But then he’s alone, Ed and Liam off somewhere, and even if she was obviously jealous and exaggeratedly nasty, her words stick with him. Because. He doesn’t really know Harry, does he? Doesn’t know why Harry went home with him a week ago or why he wanted to meet up Tuesday or again today. Doesn’t know if this is something Harry _does._ And even though he’s pretty sure Harry isn’t doing it to hurt anyone, he’s still not sure what his motives are. Louis really isn’t a fan of Vicky right now because he hates the ugly uneasiness he feels at what she said. He keeps staring over at Harry and the girl at the bar and why _the fuck is he talking to her for a billion years_ and why did Vicky have to put these thoughts in his head and ruin a really lovely evening? When he’s sat there for what he’s sure is at least another ten minutes he sighs and gives up. Even if Harry doesn’t owe him anything, Louis isn’t very keen on watching him go home with someone else, so he grabs his jacket and heads out for a smoke.

The air is bitingly cold. Wet and intruding. Seeping its way through his clothes in to his skin. He shudders as he lights a cigarette and considers just leaving. Accepting the turn out of the evening and tuck himself into bed with a cuppa. He swallows against the lump appearing in his throat at the thought. When he stubs out the cigarette against the wet pavement the door to the pub opens and Harry comes out, clearly looking for him, eyes searching.

“There you are, couldn’t find you in there,” he explains as he smiles warmly at Louis and just _unnngggh no, not fair._ Boys shouldn’t be allowed to be so pretty and sweet or have dimples like that and be called Harry or work as a _bloody social worker_ because it’s so completely and utterly unfair to the delicate hearts of boys like Louis.

He takes a deep breath as if to steel himself before he answers. “Yeah, I… I thought I’d go home,” and he can’t even look Harry in the eye because he’s so embarrassed by his own petty jealousy.

“What? Why? Is… is everything alright?” and Harry sounds so fucking _worried_ and Louis forces himself to look him in the eye and try to brush it off.

“No, just thought. I mean. You looked like you might go home with that girl so I thought I would just… make it an early one,” he says and shrugs, but he’s sure it comes off as more awkward than blasé. 

“What? No, that’s not…” Harry says and he sounds upset. He looks down on the ground before saying, “I thought I…I thought I’d go home with you tonight,” shuffling his feet, toes pointing inwards. And Louis feels hope churning like a treacherous little thing in his chest.

“You did? What about her then?” he asks and nods towards the pub. Harry looks up at him and he looks sad and so fucking beautiful Louis sort of loses it a little bit.

“She’s just a friend, I didn’t think you’d. I didn’t mean to. I was just talking to her. I’m sorry I…” and _no no no, this is not good, stop this right now_ because it has quickly become abundantly clear that _Louis_ is the biggest jerk ever and Harry thinking he did something wrong is literally the worst thing he’s ever seen. Worse than puppies and kittens being beaten with a bag full of innocent baby rabbits and _no._

“No, god no Harry, you didn’t,” he shakes his head and lets out a frustrated sigh because he hates himself a little just now. “I’m just. I’m just being a twat. Sorry. If you… If you still want, I’d love to go home with you,” Louis says and can’t help but to reach out for Harry’s hand, fingers lightly intertwine with Harry’s.

“Yeah?” Harry looks at him hopefully. “You sure?”

Louis nods, “So sure. I’m sorry I made it weird, I’m just an idiot, sorry.”

Harry pulls him closer by their hands and kisses him softly. “It doesn’t matter. I just. I really want to take you home tonight. Like. If you would’ve asked I would’ve wanted to leave just as soon as you got here.”

Louis can’t help smiling at how nervous he sounds. Nervous and _cute_ and _sweet._ “So we could go right now?” he asks and he looks up at Harry through his eyelashes again because he thinks he should suck up to him a little bit after making a fool of himself. And it works. It almost always works because men seem to like him looking all innocent and teasing like. It’s a well tried concept.

The way he feels when it works on Harry isn’t a well tried concept though, because as if he hadn’t noticed before, Harry’s got dimples and the widest grin and the cutest fucking front teeth and it makes Louis so bloody _mushy_. “Yeah, we should,” Harry says and they leave as soon as they’ve said their good byes. Louis glad Vicky seems to have fucked off somewhere.

 

\----

 

Harry’s flat is cosy but with a slightly _strange_ layout. The entrance is huge, a whole room filled with only wardrobes, shoes and posters on the walls. The kitchen with bright blue walls is also quite big, but then the only room is small and filled to the brim. Louis just stares at how Harry’s been able to cram a reasonably large bed, a sofa, a TV, a big rug and a small desk in there. Louis feels like the flat represents Harry Styles in more ways than that he lives there. It’s charming, sweet and quirky just like it’s inhabitant.

Harry looks into the room from behind Louis and grins, “Do you like it?”

“How in the ever living hell did you get all this stuff in here and why is the room so small compared to the bloody hallway?” Louis asks and raises his eyes brows at Harry in question.

“I’m pretty sure it used to be a bigger flat that was made into two separate ones and I just… ended up with the leftovers.”

Louis looks at him over his shoulder and snorts. “You would,” he says and walks around Harry to take a closer look at the kitchen.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asks, mock offended. He follows Louis out to the kitchen anyways.

“You have so many kitchen _things_ ,” Louis says, ignoring Harry’s question in favour of poking at all the utensils hanging over the counter.

Harry smiles, “I told you, I like cooking,” he answers and sounds like he’s doing it purely to _indulge_ Louis. Which ok. Whatever. Louis doesn’t mind. He might enjoy acting like a little shit sometimes and if it makes Harry smile that’s just like. A bonus. “Do you want anything? I could make us a snack or something,” Harry continues. “Show off my mad skills.” He waggles his eyebrows and Louis is pretty sure _Harry_ is the one that needs to be indulged.

Louis tries to scoff at him but ends up grinning with his whole face.

“I will literally _never_ say no to food, so have at it,” he says and jumps up on the counter opposite the sink.

Harry starts preparing fajitas, which Louis is fairly sure doesn’t exactly count as _a snack_ , but he’s not complaining. For a while he’s perfectly content watching Harry’s broad back and perky little bum as he cuts the vegetables, but then curiosity gets the better of him. “So… Vicky huh?” he asks, stopping himself there instead of continuing with a charming _what a fucking twat._

“What about her?” Harry wonders, and doesn’t seem to pick up on why Louis might ask, as he starts frying chicken in a pan.

“She didn’t seem to like me very much,” Louis says, kicking his heals softly against the cabinet. _Understatement of the fucking year_.

Harry turns towards him slightly and frowns. “What makes you say that?”

Louis lets out a small laugh at the adorable frog face, “You really don’t know?” he asks incredulously. “If looks could kill, mate. “ He makes a whooshing sound to implicate just how dead he would be.

Harry pokes around in the pan for a few moments before he stops and turns fully towards Louis. The look of confusion hasn’t left his face. “I didn’t realise… was she, was she being rude to you?” 

Louis thinks his answer over for a bit before going with, “It’s not a big deal, just wondered what the story was there.”

“I’m not sure there is a story?” Harry asks and _why does he have to look so adorably honest all the time?_

Louis just looks at him before he offers a small smile, “You really don’t get the effect you have on people, do you?”

“Now I really don’t follow. What are you talking about?” Harry shakes his head slightly but mirrors his smile.

“She was jealous. I’m pretty sure she wanted to incinerate me the moment Ed asked if we’d hooked up.”

Harry laughs through his closed mouth, cheeks vibrating with it, “ _What?!_ She’s just a friend, we’ve known each other forever!”

Louis tips his head to the side, biting the inside of his cheek as he considers Harry’s statement. “Listen, I don’t mean to cause drama okay? Just wanted to check I’m not like… dipping my dick in someone’s unfinished business or something.” He smiles cheekily to show he’s only joking. Which he totally is. Sort of.

Harry gapes at him but his eyes are fucking _sparkling. “_ Dipping your dick in someone’s _… what?!”_ Harry nearly shrieks.

Louis throws his head back and laughs, “Yes! I don’t know, I’m just saying!”

Harry laughs too and shakes his head, “You’re so _rude_.” He turns around towards the frying chicken again mumbling, “I can’t believe it,” but Louis can hear him smiling.

They’re silent for a few moments, catching their breath as Harry puts the chicken to the side.

“So? Am I?” Louis asks. Patience has never been his strong suit.

Harry drags his fingers through his hair, away from his face, before he walks over to Louis, leaning on the counter opposite him. “No. I’m not dating anyone if that’s what you’re asking. Concerning Vicky I really don’t know what you’re talking about. We never even kissed.”

And _fuck._ He’s so bloody gorgeous Louis wants to sink to his knees right away. He looks serious as if he wants to make sure Louis believes him. His long lean legs cross at the ankles and it’s mouth-watering, the way his biceps flex as he crosses his arms over his chest as well. When Louis is done shamelessly ogling him, their eyes meet and the green of Harry’s eyes makes Louis think of a meadow bathing in the evening sun. _However the fuck that might look like_.

“Alrighty, good to know,” Louis says softly since he’s ridiculous and way too easy for Harry Styles. He reaches his foot out to poke at Harry’s thigh when he suddenly feels a little bit too far away. Harry steps closer to him immediately.

Louis wonders if Harry Styles is a bit easy for Louis Tomlinson too. 

Louis pulls him down in the first real kiss they’ve shared that evening and they quickly get caught up in it. Louis’ hands getting tangled in Harry’s hair. Harry’s big hands spanning over his thighs and Louis feels arousal curl deliciously between his legs. _Those fucking hands._

Then Harry pulls away, breathing heavily against his lips. “The food. It’s getting cold.”

Louis lets out a whine, “Unngh, I hate how much I love food right now.”

Harry laughs, cheeks dimpling. “We can get back to this after you’ve been fed.”

“Pfft,” is all Louis can muster up as an answer because it really does sounds like a good plan. He slides down on the floor and squeezes past Harry and over to the food. It looks really good. Not like something he himself would be able to whip up in fifteen minutes at 12AM on a Saturday night. It’s both endearing and really annoying.

They bring the food into the bedroom/living room and sit down on the green two seater in front of the TV. As per usual when he’s eating, Louis is overcome with a strong urge to talk about everything and nothing, so he chats away with Harry laughing and making comments along the way. Harry’s eyes never seem to leave him, sparkling green and curious, and it’s absolutely addictive. Every flash of a dimple like a shot of adrenaline through his veins. As he goes on talking there’s a fuzzy fog of _he’s so fucking pretty_ seeping into every corner of Louis’ mind. 

When they have both finished eating, Louis can’t stop himself anymore. He scootches closer to Harry on the sofa, hands resting on Harry’s chest, fingertips pressing slightly into the strong muscle. _Unnngh._ “Thanks for the food, it was really good,” he says. 

Harry lets his hands travel from Louis’ wrists up the length of his arms to rest at his neck. The movement makes goose bumps rise on Louis skin. “My pleasure… glad you liked it,” Harry says, voice deep and a bit gravelly. It makes the hair on Louis’ arms stand as if electrified, shivers running down his spine. Harry clears his throat and Louis can’t resist leaning forward to trace the bobbing of his Adams apple with his tongue.

Harry’s hands trace down Louis’ back and pulls him closer. As Louis straddles his thighs, Harry’s hands come to rest at his waist. Judging by the way it already feels like a habit when Harry squeeze at the softness, Louis suspects Harry rather enjoys the roundness of his curves. The thought makes Louis want to burn in the best possible way.

He grinds down against Harry’s crotch, seeking friction and closeness. Seeking _more._ And Louis doesn’t know what it is about Harry that makes him feel so fucking _desperate_ for it. But he is. And when Harry lets out a shaky moan and clutches at Louis’ waist to hold him still as he thrusts his hips up against him, Louis _really fucking is_.

“ _Jesus_ , you should be fucking illegal,” Louis breathes against Harry’s ear, pulling at his curls to get easier access to his neck as he kisses his way down. He bites down on his shoulder and Harry shudders with it.

“Fuck Lou…” Harry moans, hands making their way under the hem of Louis’ t-shirt and he seems hungry for it, fingers travelling over his stomach, thumbing over his nipples until they’re hard and Louis gasps with it. “Want you so much.”

 _Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fucking breathe._ Louis tries to calm himself down enough to fucking _think._ Wants to give Harry whatever he wants because he wants it too, but first things first. “Take your clothes off and get on the bed and I’ll be back in a sec,” he breathes against Harry’s temple. Harry just nods while looking at him with pupils blown, wetting his lips before Louis gives him a peck on the lips and manages to pull himself away.

Louis adjusts his embarrassingly hard cock in his trousers as he makes his way to the bathroom. Closing the door behind him he makes his way over to the sink, leaning against it and looks at himself in the mirror. In just a few minutes Harry’s been able to make him look fucking _debauched_. His hair a mess over his forehead, cheeks splotchy with pink, eyes glassy and dark. _So easy_ for Harry Styles.

He huffs at the mirror before sitting down on the toilet to pee. Afterwards he cleans himself up a bit, as if a few dabs of water will make all the difference. Still. It makes him feel a bit better. After washing his hands and fixing his fringe he heads back into the room. He stops by the doorframe, eyes glued at the sight before him.

“You’re gonna be the end of me, Curly,” he groans as he presses his palm down hard against the bulge in his trousers.

Harry is lying naked in the middle of the bed, hard long cock wrapped in a loose fist as he moves his large hand up and down the shaft. He’s propped up on the pillows and he looks like the embodiment of every wet dream Louis has ever had. His eyes are glinting and teasing but he’s biting his bottom lip nervously.

“Fucking hell,” Louis grumbles before kicking himself into motion. He drags his shirt over his head and pushes his pants, trousers and socks off in one go as he gets to the foot of the bed. He might never have gotten naked any faster. Motivation is key and all.

He practically pounces on Harry, hands immediately going into his hair, kissing him roughly. Harry’s arms wrap around him and pull him down against his chest. Bodies pressing close together, Louis fitting himself in between Harry’s thighs, their hard cocks lining up against their stomachs. The kisses are wet and filthy - teeth nibbling, hot breaths harsh against swollen lips. 

They’re grinding together, panting as their tongues lick into each others mouths, when Harry grabs Louis by the neck with one hand and the other splayed out on his lower back as he flips them over. Louis kind of wants to slap him for moving him with such ease, but he’s also so incredibly turned on by it that he stops himself.

Harry looks at him with so much want and wonder it’s a bit overwhelming. His hands wander over Louis’ burning skin and he slowly plants kisses and small bites over Louis’ chest. The thought that Harry is _taking him in_ and _exploring him_ makes him squirm with how it sends pulses of heat straight to his groin. Harry kisses his way up to Louis’ mouth again, kissing him slowly and deeply now, after a few moments he pulls back and Louis feels slightly frantic, wanting to know what else Harry’s going to give him. Harry ducks his head and plants one last kiss under his jaw before panting out, “I want to taste you… can I… I want… please, can I try?”, his voice gruff, his hips grinding down against Louis’ hip.

Louis laughs out in disbelief, “Yesss, fuck yes, of course,” he rambles pulling Harry down for a hard kiss.

“You’re so gorgeous, so unbelievable… just want to… want to taste you, so bad,” Harry goes on.

With one last kiss Harry shuffles down on the bed until he’s level with Louis’ crotch and Louis can feel his cock throbbing with excitement. Who fucking cares if Harry’s never had a cock in his mouth before, Harry’s got him so hot Louis’ going to shoot off as soon as he wraps his lips around him.

Harry seems a little hesitant, like he doesn’t really know where to start and Louis puts a hand on his cheek, fingers caressing the smooth skin. “You’re so fucking hot, just take your time… you’ll do great, pretty,” Louis says and smiles down at him, hoping to ease his nerves a bit.

Smiling shyly, Harry nods before leaning down to put his nose in the dark hair at the base of Louis’ cock, breathing him in. _Holy fucking hell that shouldn’t be as hot as it is fuck_ but it’s like Harry’s been waiting to know what he smells like right there and he fucking _moans_ as he does it. _Unnnnnngh._ Harry noses at his cock, gently putting his lips against the sensitive skin, dragging them up and down the shaft slowly.

Louis breathes harshly, somehow insanely hot by just the light touches. Harry repeats the motion a few times but then his fingers join his lips, wrapping around him, thumbing at the base gently. And Louis lifts his head up from the pillows because he _has to watch this._

Harry licks his full lips to wet them before poking his tongue out to lap carefully at the underside of his cock, feeling out the shape of the sensitive head. Louis doesn’t know weather to hyperventilate or stop breathing all together. When Harry wraps his lips around the tip, tongue licking into the slit, _tasting him,_ Louis drops his head down on the pillows because the image of Harry’s lush mouth around him is too much combined with the feeling.

Harry moans again and the vibrations of it make Louis want to push further into the wet heat, but he manages to stop himself with a small stutter of the hips. He cards his fingers trough Harry’s messy curls though, trying to distract himself. Because it isn’t even that the _feeling_ is the best he’s ever had, but the fact that it’s _Harry_ on his cock, the fittest fucking boy ever, and he’s never done this before, never tasted cock before, and he seems to enjoy it _so much,_ eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks as he takes him down a little more, sucking lightly as his fist move up to meet his lips. The slurping noises he makes are fucking obscene.

“Fuck yes, fuck… yes, doing so good babe, so good… feels so good,” and Louis is apparently back to rambling, eyes shut tight.

Harry keeps going, not sinking down any further but tongue circling the head to then press against the underside and it’s fucking maddening how good it is. Louis feels arousal drum beneath his skin, knows he could come from this if Harry just kept going. The hand that isn’t on Louis’ cock pushes up under Louis’ thigh, pulling his leg up and out to the side, giving Harry more room to move around. For a few moments Harry pulls off of him and Louis doesn’t open his eyes to watch but he can hear Harry panting heavily before taking him down again. This time a wet finger pushes between Louis’ arse cheeks and drags over his rim and it takes him so much by surprise that it makes his balls draw up close to his body and precome leak heavily at the tip.

“Fuuuuuuck, fucking fuck, yes god, fuck yessss,” Louis lets out and he’s being loud but it’s the last thing he cares about right now. Harry keeps sucking him down as his finger probe at Louis’ opening and it sets Louis’ nerve endings on fire. He feels like he’s vibrating with it, inside out, and he wants _more_ and _harder_ but then he doesn’t need it anymore because he’s coming with a shout, so hard his whole body’s going rigid and he slams his head against the pillows, vision whites out and he’s shaking with it, wave after wave coursing through him.

It takes him a while to calm down enough to realise what just happened and when he does he scrambles slightly to push up on his elbows. He looks down at Harry who is still between his legs, hair hanging down like a curtain over his face. “Holy shit, fuck, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to… fuck, are you alright?” He asks and reaches down to put two fingers beneath Harry’s chin to make him look up, to check if he’s okay and he didn’t just choke the lad to death.

When their eyes meet, Harry’s are red rimmed and wet, but he’s grinning so hard his dimples are popping. “I’m good… _so_ good,” he says and laughs when he hears his own rough voice. He leans his forehead on Louis’ thigh. “Holy shit, that was…” he begins but then he shakes his head slightly and looks up at Louis again. “Was it okay? Did you like it?” 

“You just sucked your first cock and I came so hard I nearly passed out, _who even are you_ and _yes I fucking liked it,”_ Louis grins down at him and Harry smiles proudly. _Stop being so bloody cute after you make me come like that._

“I really enjoyed it too, like… I came right after you did. So fucking hot, I just… I can’t believe I never did that before,” Harry explains excitedly and Louis looks down on the mattress beneath Harry and sees that it’s covered in come.

“You came from just that, from sucking me off?” he asks, baffled.

Harry shakes his head once, “I eh… I rubbed against the bed but to be honest I was like two seconds from coming the moment I had you in my bed,” and he looks like an impossible mixture of embarrassed and flirty.

Louis has simply had enough of it. Harry Styles is a fucking enigma.

 

\---

 

They lie next to each other on the bed, catching their breaths. It’s Sunday afternoon and Louis has just had his fourth orgasm in less than 24 hours. He can't even remember the last time that happened. If it ever even has. He looks over at Harry who looks about as wrecked as Louis feels.

"You know, for a straight lad, you seem awfully fond of gay sex," he says and he's still panting. Feels like he might never recover from this.

Harry laughs but it's a short and not very happy sound. "I’m pretty sure I'm not exactly straight anymore," he bites at his bottom lip as if he's contemplating.

Louis wants to take away the worry line between Harry's eyebrows so he turns on his side and props up on his elbow. "You think?" he asks, raising an eyebrow and smirks, going for cheeky.

Harry snorts but smiles at him. "I just... I keep thinking about the people I've slept with before and how fucking underwhelming it must've been for them. Like. Eurgh, I can't even imagine."

Louis laughs, light and airy, and puts his hand on Harry’s stomach, tracing the outline of the big butterfly tattoo there. "I really don't think you can be underwhelming Curly, like. Not at all."

"I think you're biased. You just came for the third time today," Harry smiles, dimpling, and he so. fucking. pretty.

"Yes, exactly! I should know right? Nothing underwhelming about it!" he bursts out dramatically. Harry laughs again and it makes something warm unfurl in Louis' stomach.

"Oh god, just," Harry covers his face with one hand, cheeks turning pink. "I've never had sex with anyone more than twice before. And that was only one person. Most of the time it's just been... not this. Never like this."

"You've only had one night stands before?" Louis asks, wondering how it's possible for anyone to be with Harry once and not want him again. 

"Pretty much yeah," Harry nods, peeking at Louis through his fingers. "Is that weird?"

Louis frowns, "Hey, no, of course not. We all have different experiences."

"Yeah I know. Just… nnngh, no I don't know. I don't know anything anymore!" Harry exclaims, throwing his hands up in front of him and laughing in frustration. 

Louis studies him for a moment, thinking about what it is that makes Harry so worked up. He cards his fingers carefully through Harry’s tangled up curls. “It’s a lot to take in. When you realise you’re into lads I mean. It was for me too. 

“What was it like for you? I can’t imagine it was like this,” Harry says and looks a little desperate, in need of reassurance. 

Louis lies down next to him, gives his shoulder a soft kiss before resting his temple against the same spot. It might be too intimate a gesture for two people who’ve only known each other for a week, but Louis feels like normal rules don’t apply when it comes to Harry.

“Well… I never thought I liked girls, so I guess that’s different. I mean… I didn’t think I _didn’t_ like them either for the longest time, I just wasn’t very interested. But then there was the whole… football team experience and that was just. Overwhelming but _very gay_ ,” Louis laughs softly.

Harry laughs too. “I think you need to tell me a bit about that… it sounds wild.”

“It was. At first we were just a bunch of confused kids wanting to play football but then we went to footie camp and things _went down,_ ” Louis says. “Like. Two of the lads got caught snogging by the coach and then it just sort of… escalated because then 4 others boys, me and Zayn included, came clean about us hooking up and it was all very dramatic. Pretty sure coach seriously considered early retirement after that weekend.”

“You and Zayn? You dated?” Harry asks and Louis can’t help smirking at what part of the story that Harry chose to focus on.

“Nah, we were just 16 and curious. I guess we sort of tried for a bit but it just didn’t work and then 5 other lads on the team came out in the following months and there were just. _So many to choose from._ ” Louis shakes his head at the memory. Of how bizarre it had really been. 

“Sounds like every boy’s wet dream to be honest,” Harry mumbles and Louis breaks out into a grin, leaning up to look at him.

“ _Every boy’s_ wet dream _,_ you say? I don’t think Niall was very happy getting caught up in all that drama since, you know, he’s straight.”

“Oh. I mean. Yeah of course.” Harry blushes all over again.

“See! You’re doing so well, having forgotten about the straights already!” Louis says encouragingly, laughter bubbling through his words.

“Oh god shut up,” Harry laughs and pushes him away, clearly flustered. “I just. I meant, for _you,_ like _…”_

“Us gay folk?” Louis interrupts obnoxiously, eyebrows waggling.

“ _Stop it,_ you’re not even making any sense!” Harry squeaks, clearly wanting Louis to stop teasing. And Louis, the master of taking jokes on the verge of too far, just fucking melts. Because this isn’t about making Harry uncomfortable, it’s quite the opposite. 

He smiles softly at Harry, “It was honestly quite messy. We were young and stupid and a lot of the lads got hurt, me and Zayn just sort of kept to ourselves after a while because we got tired of it. My point is, _even_ _if_ I had a lot of gay friends early on, it was still a lot to deal with. We’re not raised to think we should be into lads so it’s like… you have to rewire a bit yeah? Like, it feels right but might take a little time getting used to.”

Harry nods slowly, “Yeah. Something like that,” he agrees and then he looks at Louis with those big earnest eyes, like he’s trying to make sense of something. An intimate silence settles between them and everything else just sort of falls into the background. It makes Louis’ heart race in his chest. A sign of how much is actually happening between them, even in the stillness. Their eyes holding a conversation of their own. Their cells slowly growing attached to, adapting to, the feeling of the other near by. Butterflies building colonies in the pit of their stomachs. Breaths mingling between them. It’s all happening in the quiet calm of a Sunday afternoon. Neither of them fully aware of it. Like the calm before the storm.

Of course, them being them, the moment when time seems to have stopped, doesn’t last very long at all. It starts with a tiny twitch at the corner of Harry’s mouth and it soon blends into a full on grin, dimples exploding in his cheeks, eyes sparkling like the sun reflecting on green ocean waves. “I think I want to make you come again,” Harry says and his fingers trace the line of Louis spine.

Louis huffs out a laugh, “I’m an old man Styles, you can’t expect me to perform several times a day!”

Harry pushes him into the mattress, eyes glinting and smile big, “You don’t have to do anything gramps, just let me take care of you.” And Louis wants to fucking punch his stupid face but settles for moaning when Harry plants a wet kiss on his inner thigh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	4. 2.3. DIMPLES

**_DIMPLES! can’t believe you’re not at home rn, you’re missing out on a documentary abt baby bears, BABY BEARS!!!!!!_ **

**Oh no :((( AW is sort of non negotiable though, I’d be shunned! But I really would’ve liked to see the baby bears!**

**_pffft! baby bears are way more important than work relationships harold! where are you anyways?_ **

**I might actually agree, but that says more about the baby bears than my co- workers, who are lovely people! We’re at George’s, just ordered my second pint and some fish and chips :) What are you up to? Aside from baby bears obviously!  
**

**_unngh, i’m not jealous what are you talking about? it’s not like i had left over potatoes with garlic sour cream for dinner, very nutritious! i’m abt two seconds from falling asleep on the sofa is what i am doing_ **

**You had potatoes and sour cream for dinner? No protein, no salad, no nothing? :( Aww, maybe go to bed then? Falling asleep on the sofa sucks for your back!**

**_did you just scold me for BOTH my eating habits and my sleeping arrangements??? didn’t know i’d adopted a new parent :/_ **

**I’m pretty sure that’s not how adoption works and I was just asking, no scolding anywhere! Also. Maybe I’m just being selfish**

**_well it’s how adoption should work so. and please do tell how that is you being selfish Curly?_  
**

**Well. Wouldn’t want your back to be all messed up on Friday when I’m coming over right? ;)**

**_that is. the lamest thing i’ve ever heard. ever. but trust me, my back will be in pristine condition for beers and video games, no worries!_ **

**And other things maybe? :)  
**

**_what other things? i don’t know what you’re talking abt_ **

**Well. As you put it last week, I wouldn’t mind -putting it in- you. Wouldn’t mind at all.**

_**oh my god. don’t use my own words against me! ungh** _  
_**but maybe i’d be up for that too. maybe** _  
_**possibly** _  
_**most definitely** _

**Can’t wait :)  
**

**_going to bed now, you’re being indecent!!!_ **

**The only thing indecent about this conversation is you in a bed**

**_TO SLEEP!_ **

**;))))  
**

**_you’re ridiculous good bye_ **

**Good night Lou :)  
**

_**good night dimples :-*** _

**\---**

“Lou! Hi!” **  
**

**“** _Hey pretty, how are ya?”  
_

“I’m good, good. Just. Wait as sec…Okay, there you go, hi.”

“ _What are you doing?”_

“Just got home from work, had to get my coat off.”

_“Oh I see, very nice.”_

“Yes I am. What’s up?”

_“Heading out in a bit, Zayn’s picking me up for Stan’s ‘dinner party’ or whatever he called it.  
_

“Oh yeah, that’s right, that was tonight! Sounds lovely.”

_“Yeeh, I’m sure it will be. For some reason I’m just inherently against things that sounds too grown up even though I actually genuinely enjoy said things.”  
_

“You think a dinner party sounds like a ‘too adult thing’?”

_“Ehh? Yeah? Sounds like stuff parents do.”_

“But it’s really just Stan having you, his best mates, over for dinner right?”

_“Yes! Which, as I said, is something I do enjoy. Just. Ah, forget I said anything.”  
_

“Who said anything about a dinner party? Not you, that’s for sure. So what have you done today?”

_“You’re lovely Curly, have I told you that? Spent most of my day working on a new logo for a client. They’re very picky but have no idea what they’re talking about, but it turned out alright. So ready for the weekend though. What about you, did it work out with that family you were talking about?”  
_

“Yeah, fortunately! Don’t know what I would’ve done otherwise. Sometimes it feels like I’m the bad guy even though I’m just trying to help.”

_“Yeah, I can imagine. What you’re doing is amazing though. Not your fault the system’s fucked up.”  
_

“I know. But. You know, like. I’m still part of the system so? I’m part of the problem?”

_“Well. I’m 100% sure it would be worse for everyone if they had some arsehole help them instead of you so. You gotta make the best of the situation.”  
_

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just so different doing it every day than I imagined it would be.”

_“Yeah I get that, I think it’s great though, what you do.”  
_

“Thanks, that’s nice. I really do love it too, when I can help.”

_“Like you did today!”  
_

“Yeah… Lou?”

_“Yes, Harold?”  
_

“I can’t wait till tomorrow.”

_“Me neither. Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you for like a month?”  
_

“I don’t know. I’m sure this week is the longest week that’s ever been ever.”

_“But you’ll come tomorrow, after 7?”  
_

“I’ll be there around 8.”

_“Great. Zayn’s been going on and on about it. He can’t wait to see you.”  
_

“Oh well tell him the feeling’s mutual. He’s all I’ve been able to think about.”

_“Ungh, shut up Curly or you’re uninvited.”  
_

“But what will Zayn say? He’ll be so disappointed.”

_“If I have anything to say about it he won’t get his hands on you anyways.”  
_

“Who said anything about hands? And why is that?”

_“Stop fishing for compliments, you’re too pretty for that. See ya tomorrow now.”_

“As long as it’s working… see you tomorrow, Lou.”

 

\---

 

It’s Friday night and the clock is nearing 8. Louis’ best friends have taken over his flat. Zayn and Jade out smoking on the balcony, Stan catching up with Olly in the kitchen and Nick entertaining/bugging Jesy in the living room. Louis loves this. Loves being surrounded by his friends, loves how they fill up his home as if they belong there just as much as he does. He flits between them like the social genius that he is, telling them to drink more beer and to gracefully let him win when they start up the video games. But part of his mind is distracted, only waiting for a certain curly headed boy to arrive. Louis thought that them not seeing each other for five days would make him feel a little less half way to obsessed with the boy, but turns out it had the opposite effect. Their daily texts and phone calls just amplifying how much he wants to be near him. So. Maybe two weeks is a little early to be introduced to Louis’ energetic group of friends, but it can’t be helped. If you have to kiss a pretty boy, you have to, pre-planned game night or not.

When the doorbell rings, Louis’ stomach does a full on 360 **°** making his heart rate pick up annoyingly. He does his best to ignore it as he walks up to open the door, but it seems like it’s to no avail when he’s treated with a 6’ something, giraffe legged, broad shouldered, pretty dimpled boy with long brown curls. And those fucking dimples are already out, smile curling over his adorable front teeth and green eyes glinting. If Louis were in a 19th century romance novel he’d bloody swoon. As it is now, he just stares for a bit before stepping aside to let Harry in.

“Hi there,” Harry says and walks past him, smirking, clearly amused by Louis’ lack of greeting.

“Hi Curly, about bloody time,” he smiles because he can’t even be arsed to be embarrassed.

“Is everyone else here?” Harry asks as he takes off his boots and coat.

“Yeah, I think Zayn is setting up the game as…” Louis starts but it turns into a groan when he can see what Harry is wearing. Black skinny jeans making his long legs seem impossible and a black see through shirt with only a few of the buttons done. Louis’ thought process goes something like 1. holy mother of gods I’m being tested 2. how did this boy ever think he was straight? 3. help me. What he lets out is another groan followed by, “And exactly how do you expect me to be able to focus on any game tonight when you’re dressed like that with your tits out?” He might be pouting as he grabs Harry by the waist to pull him closer.

Harry honks out a laugh and goes from sex on legs to frustratingly adorable dork in no time. Louis suspects there are no limits to how endearing Harry can be.

“I promise I’ll help you out if you lose focus,” Harry says, his large hand curling around Louis’ jaw and he leans in for a kiss. And _god._ It’s only been five days but Louis has already forgotten how good it feels to kiss him. His lips so soft, tongue warm and tantalising. A surge of heat stirs somewhere in the pit of his stomach and pulls him closer to Harry. He grabs at Harry’s chest, feeling the strong muscle under the fine fabric, the contrast absolutely mesmerising.

“I see we’ve got guests,” _fucking_ _Nick_ says from behind them, smirk evident in his voice.

Harry breaks the kiss and takes a step back from Louis. Cheeks painted a lovely dark pink as he wipes his mouth carefully with his knuckles, looking a bit sheepishly at Nick. “Erhm, yeah, hi, I’m Harry.” He does a little wave but doesn’t move any further from Louis who turns to glare at Nick.

“Yes Nick, this is Harry, as you would’ve found out in two minutes when I introduce him to you lot” Louis says as sharply as he can, but Nick looks at him with a raised eyebrow and a small smile and Louis rolls his eyes and smiles back.

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Louis only talks about you approximately 8 hours a day, so I hardly know anything about you,” he grins as he walks up and shakes Harry’s hand. Louis slaps his arm but Harry just blushes even more and grins like it’s the best news ever. Louis sort of forgets what’s so bad about what Nick just said.

Harry turns his bright green eyes to Louis who gets caught up in what those eyes are telling him. _You talk about me? You like me, don’t you? I like you too. I can’t believe it’s finally Friday. I really want to kiss you again._ And maybe all of that is just wishful thinking on Louis’ part, but it feels like it isn’t.

“Ooo-keeey. I’m leaving, you two are freaking me out,” Nick says before going into the kitchen.

Harry briefly looks up as Nick leaves before smiling down at Louis. “I thought you said Nick was a dick?” he whispers conspiratorially.

”Yes, as you could clearly tell by the way he acted just now,” Louis says and looks at Harry as if he’s is a bit slow on the uptake.

“He seemed nice!” Harry exclaims and he grins fully when he can see how frustrated it makes Louis.

“You’re a nuisance Harold,” Louis shakes his head. “Nick just happens to be a fairly nice dick, okay?”

Harry opens his mouth to say something but Louis interrupts him before he gets the chance, “And get your mind out of the gutter, Styles!”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

“You didn’t have to,” Louis rolls his eyes. “Nick’s a good friend, I’m just being a twat as usual.”

“As usual,” Harry agrees, eyes teasing. Louis just groans and drags him by the hand out to the kitchen to get them some beers.

 

\---

 

A few hours into game night, Louis and Harry have won approximately zero rounds of FIFA but as much as Louis accuses everyone else of cheating - he doesn’t _really_ mind. When he returns from a much needed bathroom break he pauses at the door separating the living room from the hallway. He looks at Harry who’s made himself comfortable right smack in the middle of Louis’ best mates, loudly cheering Jesy and Jade on as they’ve teamed up against Stan and Olly.

He’s a fucking sight.

When he arrived he looked every bit like a photo model. Long chocolate curls perfectly styled over his shoulders, his clothes fitting him so perfectly and effortlessly. He’s still absolutely breath taking but even more so by the way his eyes water from laughing so hard and his beautiful curls have turned into a wild mess on his head. When Harry spots him, his green eyes light up, crinkling at the corners as his dimples play over his cheeks and Louis slides from his spot over to the sofa. He sits down next to Harry who instantly melts into his side.

“Hi there, stranger,” Harry says, biting his own bottom lip.

“Hey you,” Louis answers softly. “Having a good time?”

“Yeah, Stan is really bad at this game,” Harry chuckles.

“Oi! Manners, new boy!” Stan hollers but he doesn’t take his eyes off the screen.

Both Louis and Harry laugh before turning their attention back to each other. Louis twirls one of Harry’s curls around his finger as he pulls him down for a quick peck, he simply can't resist. Harry puts one of his large hands at Louis’ nape, fingers lightly scratching up into the soft hair. It sends shivers down Louis’ spine, goose bumps breaking out over his arms.

"You think we've got a shot against Stan and Olly then?" Louis whispers.

"Since I'm just as horrible as Stan, I'd say it's a battle between you and Olly," Harry whispers into his ear.

Louis bloody giggles at that, "I think you're right."

They turn towards the TV, Harry's hand still at Louis' neck and Louis reaches for his other one to play with his rings. His hands are really something else. Louis gets lost in thoughts of how those long fingers would feel curling inside of him, his mouth going a little dry, but then he realizes what he's doing and pushes Harry's hand out of his lap. Harry raises an eyebrow in question and Louis just gives him a small smile and shrugs, one of his hands settling on Harry's thigh instead. Can’t keep himself from touching. Not when Harry is so close and warm all along his side. It makes Louis feel fuzzy and on edge at the same time. Sparks of electricity shooting out through his veins, every soft press of Harry’s fingertips at his nape noticeable.

When it’s loser vs. losers it’s finally Louis and Harry’s turn.

“Stanley, _please do your best,_ do you really want Louis to win?” Olly pleads with his teammate, hanging on to Stan with his arms thrown around his neck dramatically. Louis shoots him death glare.

“I _am_ doing my best! You focus on winning and I focus on not like. Fucking up too much, and we’ve got this mate!” Stan says confidently.

Olly smacks a kiss on his cheek, “That’s the spirit! Go team and so on!” and Stan just laughs.

It’s. An interesting game. Jesy and Nick cheering on both teams, whoever’s in the lead for the moment, while Zayn and Jade leave the room to get some snacks from the kitchen. And Louis. He really does want to win. But he’s also not very eager to call Harry every bad name he can come up with every time he fucks up, which. Is a lot. So after a while he starts to purposefully fuck up too, just to make Harry laugh. He really should’ve known that would feel a thousand times more rewarding than taunting Olly and Stan. So. Maybe they lose, but Harry eyes are so bright and his smile showing a whole row of teeth, so Louis doesn’t mind at all. _So easy for Harry Styles_.

“I’m heading out for a smoke,” he says and gives Harry a peck on the cheek before going out on the balcony. He lights up a cigarette and takes the first drag as Stan joins him. Louis lets the cold night air clear out his head a bit, trying to calm down after all the commotion in the living room. He leans on the railing with his forearms, looking down on the street below.

“So. What’s the deal with you and Harry?” Stan asks, no beating around the bush here apparently.

Louis takes a deep breath, “What do you mean?”

“I mean I’ve known you since we were 8 and I’ve never seen you like this before. The last time you brought someone you spent the whole night playing hard to get and that is obviously not your game plan here.”

“I wasn’t playing hard to get, what are you on about?” Louis asks indignantly, purposefully paying attention to least important part of the statement.

“Yes, you were, you barely spoke to him all night.”

“Pfft,” is all Louis has to say about that before talking a long drag of his cigarette.

“ _Sooo_?” Stan presses on. “You’ve known Harry what, a couple weeks? And you act as if you’re already arse over tits. That just. It doesn’t happen. Not with you.”

Louis stares at him, trying to figure out if Stan is being extremely rude about his ability to fall in love or if he’s just trying to help. Of course he already knows the answer, but he still feels like Stan’s loyalty should be scrutinized a bit for pressuring him like this.

“I don’t know,” is all he says.

“Don’t know what?”

He lets out a deep sigh, smoke billowing out of his mouth. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I know I don’t _do this,_ I know it’s fucking absurd but I just. He drives me fucking nuts! And I barely know him! I mean. _Fuck.”_

“Hey, no need get worked up, I’m just surprised, is all. He seems like a great lad, I don’t blame you for liking him.”

Louis looks over at his oldest friend, shuffling his feet, small smile creeping onto his face, “He is kind of great, isn’t he?”

Stan laughs at him, “Yes, Lewis, he’s great. You met him through Niall, yeah?”

Louis nods, “Yeah, they took some classes together at uni.”

“Zayn told me he’s never dated a guy before?” Stan asks and Louis seriously has the biggest gossips for friends.

“Oh, did he now?” Louis says and raises an eyebrow sharply. “But no he hasn’t.”

“What’s that like?” Stan asks, sounding curious rather than judgemental.

“It’s alright. I mean. The sex is fucking mad. I’m so bloody attracted to him he could probably just lie there and it’d still be amazing. And he’s so funny and smart and sweet. _God it’s annoying._ But I guess. I mean. He’s not really out and we haven’t really talked about stuff like that. So. I guess... we’ll see.”

“But he wants to come out?” Stan prods carefully.

Louis sort of blanks for a moment, because he hasn’t thought about it much. “I guess? I mean. He’s here right? And I’ve met some of his friends and kissed him in public several times so.”

Stan shrugs, “Yeah, you’re right. He seems really into you, looks like it physically pains him to look away.”

Louis laughs, “Oh god, shut up.” He hides his burning face in his hands.

“It’s true! And you’re not much better! You two do this thing where you stop listening to everyone else and just stare at each other. You’ve done it several times just tonight, it’s quite creepy, mate, to be honest.”

“Okay, enough! Enough of that! Lets go inside before we freeze our balls off,” he says, pushing past Stan to get inside and Stan just laughs at him.

 

\---

 

As the clock passes midnight Louis’ friends drop out one after another, Jesy and Jade being the last ones to leave. Well. Except for Harry who seems to take his sweet time carrying empty beer bottles into the kitchen. The girls wrap themselves up in coats and scarves as they talk about their night.

“Thanks for having us, babe,” Jesy says and gives Louis a hug. “Always such a good time.”

“Thank you for coming, love you guys,” Louis says and hugs them both.

“Can you _please_ tell Olly to not bring the schnapps next time? Zayn can’t handle that shit,” Jade says and manages to sound annoyed and endeared at the same time.

Louis laughs, thinking of how Zayn became a blabbering, giggling mess after a few shots of melon schnapps. “Thought it was quite entertaining to be honest,” he says.

“Yeah, if you want to find out explicit details about his sex life maybe, which, I’m sorry to say it, I _really don’t,”_ Jesy says.

“Yeh yeh,” Louis waves her off and the next thing he knows, Jade has crept up close to him.

“He’s really sweet Lou, seems mad about you,” she smiles teasingly and Louis has got no issues figuring out who she’s talking about, even after the abrupt change of subject. His cheeks burn.

Jesy smiles at him as well, “Yeah, really lovely, you deserve someone like him.”

“Oh god, it’s not like we’re getting married or anything, okay? Just met the guy,” Louis says but is silently so pleased by what they’re saying.

“That’s not what I said, you twat,” Jesy says before giving him a kiss on the cheek and then they’re out the door.

Louis goes into the kitchen and sees Harry by the counter, putting empty bowls and glasses in the washing machine. “You don’t have to do that you know,” he says, smiling warmly at how thoughtful Harry is.

Harry turns around, smiling bashfully, “It’s okay, I don’t mind,” and then he looks down at his feet, looking like a shy schoolboy. A 6 foot giant of a schoolboy. “Do you… do you want me to go, too?” He looks up and pushes back a stray curl behind his ear.

He’s so fucking beautiful.

If it were anyone but Harry, he would have assumed they were just playing coy, but Harry’s looking at him like he genuinely believes Louis might ask him to leave. Louis snorts - he’s nothing if not kind and understanding. “No Curly, I want you to get over here and kiss me. Please,” he says and smiles when Harry breaks out into a wide grin. 

Harry curls himself around Louis’ smaller frame. Long arms wrapping around his torso, hands spanning over his lower back. When they kiss it feels like they’ve been waiting all night to do so. Both of them getting wrapped up in the feeling of their lips pressed together, their tongues teasing and hot. Louis drags his hands through Harry’s hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss, making Harry moan against his lips. Harry’s hands stutter over his back, finally landing on Louis’ biceps trying to bring Louis even closer.

Louis lets one of his hands leave the mop of curls and reaches behind Harry to grab at his arse, getting dizzy with arousal by the feeling. “You’re so fucking fit, been wanting to do this all night,” he pants out.

Harry kisses his way up the side of Louis neck, nuzzling behind his ear, voice low when he says, “Want you, so much.”

They stumble, not so gracefully, towards the bedroom, kisses and urgent touches exchanged on the way there. They lose their clothes quickly before crawling onto the bed, Harry hovering over Louis, kissing his neck. “You taste so good,” Harry breathes heavily against his skin. “Can’t get enough of it,” his tongue tracing patterns along Louis’ scruffy jaw.

Louis moans, pushing his lower body up against Harry. Chasing friction, chasing the thrumming need buzzing beneath his skin. His hands press against the muscles of Harry’s torso, just feeling the firm flesh under his hands is so fucking arousing, skin soft and warm.

“Tell me what you want, tell me how to make you feel good,” Harry says, moving to trace his tongue over one of Louis’ nipples, teeth nipping at the hardening bud.

Louis can’t keep himself from asking for what’s he’s been fantasising about all week, “Your fingers, want your fingers inside me.”

Harry lets out a groan against his skin, his hands pulling on the sheets, “ _Yes. Oh god._ ”

Louis pulls him up to kiss him again, seemingly never able to quench his thirst for it. The heat between them is scorching, a thin layer of sweat already making their skin slide together. Louis leans over the bed to reach the lube in the bedside drawer.

When offered with a view of Louis’ backside Harry groans and covers his bum with his large hands, squeezing, “I swear your arse is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen,” he grumbles.

Louis huffs out a laugh even though he’s turned on beyond comprehension. He gives the bottle of lube to Harry, and runs a hand through his own fringe, trying to calm down a bit. Being close to Harry is such a rush, like his whole body wants in on the experience. Every cell on high alert, reaching, searching, craving the feeling of Harry. He lies back against the pillows, eagerly awaiting Harry’s next move.

Harry kisses his way down Louis’ chest, teeth randomly grazing the skin. He noses at Louis’ hip, tongues lapping out to taste the salty skin. “So gorgeous,” he murmurs before sitting up between Louis’ bent and spread knees. Louis is fucking vibrating with the feeling of being so exposed and vulnerable. His cock quickly filling up against his stomach.

Harry coats two of his fingers with lube, warming it up by rubbing them together. “Tell me if I’m doing something wrong or… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Yeah yeah, you won’t, just… go slow yeah?” Louis says, starting to squirm a bit in anticipation.

Harry hums and puts his non sticky hand at the back of Louis’ knee, pushing his leg back even further, Louis’ hole clenching as he’s hit with cool air over the sensitive skin. “Fuck,” Harry breathes out quietly before reaching his lubed up fingers to touch him. He rubs the pads of his fingers over Louis’ rim carefully, almost in awe, biting his bottom lip in concentration.

Louis lets out a shaky breath, the feeling of someone else’s fingers on him like this, for the first time in a very long time, feels _so good._ The fact that it’s Harry’s fingers pressing against his rim, sends waves of heat to the pit of his stomach and pools just at the base of his cock.

When Harry seems to have gotten used to the feeling, the press of his fingers grow a little firmer, as if he’s testing the resistance. Louis moans out, “Yeah, feels so good baby, keep going.”

Harry diverts his eyes from where they’ve been focused on what his fingers are doing, to look up at Louis. “You’re so gorgeous, it’s fucking insane,” he says, voice deep with arousal.

Louis sees how hard he is, cock bobbing in front of him, the head wet with precome. “Push a finger inside, fuck, I want to feel you so bad,” he manages to say, pushing through his lust muddled thoughts.

Pouring some more lube on his fingers, Harry nods before reaching down between Louis’ arse cheeks again. He pushes his middle finger more firmly against the rim, spreading the lube around. “You ready?” he asks and Louis almost laughs.

“Yeah, are you?” Louis smiles and tries to relax into the mattress.

His smile returns briefly but Harry’s face quickly turns back into deep concentration. He pushes the tip of his finger inside and Louis can’t help the whine that escapes his lips because it’s so goddamned _good._ He enjoys fingering himself, but having someone else’s fingers inside him has always made him hot all over. “Fuck yeah, keep, keep going, so good babe,” he tries to sound encouraging but he probably only sounds needy.

Harry pushes the finger further inside, the slow drag of it so fucking _much._ If he wasn’t so turned on, his hard cock curling against his stomach, Louis might start freaking out a bit, because he already feels _so full._ Harry’s fingers stretching him out and it’s like it never fucking _ends._

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight,” Harry says, astonishment colouring his voice, the hand not currently trying to make Louis fucking lose it grabs at the back of Louis’ thigh hard. When he’s made his way up to the last knuckle, Harry starts to move his finger around a bit, pushing against Louis’ walls. After a few moments the pad of his finger push against Louis’ prostate and Louis can’t stop the throaty moan making it’s way up his throat.

“Right there, right there, don’t stop, feels so good,” he babbles _._ Harry moves his finger in slow circles over the nub and he looks at Louis like he can’t get enough of the sight of him.

“You feel so amazing _,_ ” Harry says, the hand on the back of Louis’ thigh sliding down until his hand is on his bum, his thumb reaching to spread Louis’ arse cheeks even further apart. “ _Jesus Christ,_ look at you, fuck.”

When Louis has gotten used to the feeling of Harry finger inside him, he wants _more._ “Harder,” he says and doesn’t care that he sounds bossy. Harry immediately abides, finger pushing more insistently against his spot, sending waves of pleasure through his pelvis. “Okay, fuck, another, unngh,” Louis says, squirming to get more of Harry inside of him.

Pulling his finger out Harry pours some more lube on two of his fingers. Louis can see his hands trembling and his breath is shaky. “Hey, you okay?” Louis asks and caresses Harry’s arm to calm him down.

Harry lets out a nervous laugh and smiles, “Yeah, I’m just,” he takes a deep breath, “I’m just so bloody turned on.”

Louis can’t help grinning at that, “Well, that makes two of us, Curly.”

He pulls Harry down for a kiss, their tongues sliding together slowly, as if they’re pacing themselves a bit. Then he feels two of Harry’s fingers prod at his opening, making Louis’ breath hitch as he pushes inside. Harry finds his prostate soon enough, going back to the slow circling motion until Louis is writhing beneath him, asking for _harder, more, please, more._ As Harry works his way up to three fingers, pushing inside him with slow hard thrusts, Harry starts rambling against Louis’ neck. Louis is so caught up in how good it feels, how Harry is driving him closer and closer to the edge, he only catches a few words. “So gorgeous… unbelievable… feel so good… so hot… best thing I’ve ever felt.”

Harry is driving his hips into Louis at the same pace as his fingers are fucking into him. His hard cock rubbing against the back of Louis’ thigh spreading precome over him. _So wet._

Louis’ knows they’re both close, but he wants Harry inside him. Craves that closeness, craves the look on Harry’s face as he’s buried deep inside of him. “Harry wait, fuck babe, wait, don’t wanna come yet. Want you, please,” he pants out, slightly incoherent with want.

Harry moans out wetly against his throat, tongue lapping over his skin. “Yeah… yeah, anything you want.”

It takes a few moments for them to focus long enough to pull out a condom from the drawer and for Harry to slick himself up. As he does so, Louis turns around onto his stomach, placing a pillow underneath his hips. Putting his arse up on display for Harry’s hungry eyes. Harry takes a deep breath through his nose, “Like a fucking dream, I swear.” Then he’s leaning over Louis, kissing his way up his spine before lining himself up and pushing into Louis’ tight heat. They both moan loudly at the feeling.

Harry’s hands cover Louis’ as he grabs onto the sheets and they work up a steady rhythm with hard insistent thrust. Louis moving his hips, rubbing his nearly painfully hard cock against the pillow beneath him and then pushing up to meet Harry’s thrust. When Harry finds his prostate again Louis lets out a guttural moan into the sheets, “I’m so close, please don’t stop, please, please, please,” and he’s fucking lost it. The heat of it too much, the pleasure so intense as Harry bites down on his shoulder and they both come within seconds of each other.

Louis pulls the wet pillow from beneath him off the bed and curls onto his side as Harry ties off the condom and lies down beside him. Harry’s hands curl around Louis’ jaw and he pulls him into a kiss. They breathe into each other’s mouths as they catch their breaths. For a few minutes they just lie like that in silence, Louis sweaty fringe pressed against Harry’s forehead, gentle touches exchanged between them. When the air between them get a little too hot, Louis gives Harry a small peck on the lips before rolling onto his back.

Harry ties his hair up with a hair band from around his wrist and lies down on his back as well. “You should get like, an award or something for that.”

Louis huffs out something that’s somewhere between a scoff and an incredulous laugh. “For shagging? You don’t think that’s a bit offensive, Dimples?”

Harry rolls his eyes and laughs, “I don’t mean it like that just... you’re so incredible.”

Louis slaps him half heartedly on his chest. “It’s a team effort, innit? Maybe we could enter a contest or summat.”

Harry’s laughs louder, “Oh god, at least we’d be better at that than FIFA.”

Louis covers his face with his hands and shakes his head quickly, “Nononono, please don’t make me think of competing against Olly and Stan like that, oh _god_.”

Harry seems to find it hysterical because he can’t seem to stop laughing. “What about Zayn and Nick then?”

“At least they’re both gay!” Louis squawks out but laughs as well.

“Jade and Jesy would probably win though, right? How long have they been together?”

“Ungh, you’re right. They started dating when they were like 19.”

Harry smiles and says “Okay, so shagging competition aside, your friends are really lovely,” and Louis might melt a little bit.

“They really are,” Louis smiles softly. “So you had a good time tonight then?”

“I had a _really good time_ tonight,” Harry says and waggles his eyebrows.

Louis slaps him again, “You’re awful, I’m trying to make sure you had a nice time with my friends and you turn it _filthy,”_ he huffs but Harry just cuddles close to him, wraps a long arm around his torso and kisses his neck.

“I had a really good time, thanks for inviting me,” Harry says, voice soft and sweet.

“No problem, pretty. I had a good time, too.”

 

\---

 

They’re woken up by Harry’s phone alarm going off in the morning. Harry sitting up and scrambling to shut it off.

“I need to leave,” Harry mumbles grumpily.

Louis groans, “Why? What time is it?” He pulls a pillow over his head.

“It’s ten, I’m having brunch with Mum and Gemma.”

“Unngh, what even is that, brunch? Some kind of evil Styles invention I’m sure.”

“It’s actually a very well known concept to most of the population, guess you missed the memo,” Harry answers as he starts collecting his clothes and head to the bathroom. “Can I borrow your shower?”

Louis just grunts as an answer but it seems enough for Harry. Of course, once the bed is empty of curly hair and long limbs, Louis finds it a lot less appealing, so after a few minutes he puts on some joggers and heads out to the kitchen to turn on the kettle.

As he’s putting a splash of milk into his tea, Harry enters the kitchen. Now dressed in a grey knitted jumper and his black jeans, wet curls falling over his shoulders. “You brought a change of clothes?” Louis smirks, because _of course_ he did.

“Well, I thought I might spend the night, so…” he shrugs a little but there’s still a hint of pink tinting his cheeks. _Pretty. Lovely. Kiss me._

“You want a cuppa before you leave?” Louis asks as Harry hugs him from behind, lips trailing softly along his nape.

“No I’m alright, thanks, I really need to get going.”

Louis wants to stomp and pout at how dissatisfied he is with Harry leaving, but he resists in an attempt to come off as older than five. “Okay, so… what are your plans for today?” Louis turns around in Harry’s arms, pulling at the hem of Harry’s jumper.

“We’ll probably do some shopping or maybe head to Manchester Art Gallery, Mum likes to go there whenever she visits,” Harry says, trailing fingers over Louis’ exposed collarbones. “What about you?”

“I dunno, don’t have any plans really, probably call Zayn and tease him about everything he said last night,” Louis says.

“Sounds like a good plan,” Harry smiles. “What about tonight?”

Louis looks up at Harry and when their eyes meet it’s like they both know where this conversation is headed. “Yeah, what about tonight?” Louis says and bites his bottom lip against a smile.

“Would you like some company?” Harry asks and Louis feels that swooping feeling in his stomach again. As if he’s on a roller coaster or as if the ground has been pulled from beneath his feet.

“Well, I hadn’t really thought about it, but I guess I could ask Zayn,” Louis says because he can’t help it.

Harry pouts, “You’re mean, very pretty, but also mean,” he states.

Louis lets his thumb trail across Harry’s full bottom lip. “I _could_ ask Zayn… however, I’d like it a lot more if you wanted to come over,” and just like a switch Harry’s mouth turns into a full grin.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

 

\---

 

Louis spends his day on the sofa, calling a very hung over and grumpy Zayn, watching three documentaries on Netflix and eating several servings of cereal. All in all, it’s a very lazy Saturday, exactly the thing he needs after his busy week. When he gets a text from Harry that he’s on his way over, Louis calls for Italian take out and heads into the shower.

As they get comfortable on the sofa, take out containers in their laps, Harry tells him about his day. Louis finds it difficult to stop staring as Harry talks about his family, how Gemma is excelling at her new job and how Anne and Robin are thinking about getting a dog now when they’ve started getting used to the kids being out of the house (4 years after the fact). Harry’s green eyes look so warm as he talks about them and it reminds Louis of how he feels when he thinks about his own family. When the warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach starts getting a little too intense, Louis’ pushes Harry down on the sofa and snogs him until they’re both breathless with it.

They fall asleep wrapped up in each other as The Notebook is playing in the background and up until his eyes fall shut, Louis’ does his best to ignore the feeling of how normal it feels. Two weeks ago he didn’t even know the boy he’s snuggled up against but he can already tell he’s growing addicted to Harry’s warmth next to him. He might be having a bit of a crush on Harry Styles. A teeny tiny thing of crush. Is all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	5. 2.4. Interlude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First chapter with switching POV, hope it's not too confusing ❤

MONDAY 

Harry is busy all morning on Monday and goes through appointment after appointment. The highlight of the morning is meeting a particularly chatty 3 year old who laughs delightedly when Harry talks to them. He loves kids, and knowing he in some way helps the little ones get a better life is one of the best things about his job. Before lunch there’s an office meeting and then he spends his lunch together with Nevena and Sally, talking about their weekend. Harry cringes slightly when he says he spent his weekend with “a friend” and hastily moves on to talk about his Mum’s visit in the city. It’s just. He’s not even sure how to think of Louis in his own head yet. Apart from _gorgeous, witty, sweet, an arse I’d go to war for_ it’s all still a bit confusing, so he decides not to dwell on it too much. Of course once he’s started thinking about Louis he can’t stop, so he sends him a text to indulge himself. 

**Thanks for the weekend, had a great time :) xx**

He gets an answer only minutes after.

**_me too Curly! u feel up for a walk after work?_ **

The simple request makes Harry’s butterfly infested insides go wild.

**Sounds lovely, I’m off at 5!**

**_we can meet up outside your place at 17.45?_ **

**See you then! :)  
**

**:-* :-* :-*  
**

Three kissing emojis keeps Harry smiling like a fool for the rest of the afternoon.

 

\---

 

Louis is waiting for him at the bottom of the stairs as Harry leaves his building. He’s wearing Vans, blue skinnies, a black jacket, a black beanie and a crinkly smile when he sees Harry. He’s the most beautiful thing Harry’s ever seen. His heart immediately taking off as he looks at him.

“Hi there, long time no see!” Louis says, blue eyes sparkling. 

Harry walks over to him and bends down to capture his lips in a chaste kiss. “Not so long if I remember correctly,” Harry smiles, thinking of how he had to force himself to leave Louis’ last night.

“Well, everyone needs a bit of exercise right? Might as well do it together,” Louis states and Harry just groans at him.

“How do you expect me to _not_ make innuendo when you hand me the opportunities on a silver platter as soon as you open your mouth?” 

“Hanging out with me is a lesson in self restraint, you’ll see,” Louis smirks and winks obnoxiously. Harry gives him another quick kiss to shut him up and Louis laughs at him as they take off down the street.

They talk easily between them. Louis makes him feel like he can be himself and his bouncy energy is contagious. It makes Harry laugh a little louder, gesticulate a little wilder and make more silly jokes than he would otherwise dare to squeeze into one conversation.

“Why did you want become a social worker?” Louis asks as he shoves his hands into his pockets against the cold.

Harry thinks for a bit before answering, “Erhm… I just. I always knew I wanted to work with people. Thought maybe I could be a teacher or summat, but then one of Gemma’s friends told me about her classes and it just sounded really great, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I think… like… it’s cool, ‘cause you can work in so many different fields you know? Like if I want to do something different in the future, I could work with kids with mental health problems, people struggling with addiction or refugees. Like… there are so many different things you could do to help people, I really like that,” Harry finishes and looks over at Louis. He knows it can take awhile for him to get to the point and some people tend to stop listening half way through, but Louis looks back at him, smiling softly, clearly listening intently. Harry grows warm and smiles back at him.

“That’s great, not like something you’d grow tired of,” Louis says.

Harry hums in agreement and nods, “What about you? Why did you become a graphic designer?”

Louis shrugs, “Me and Zayn used to draw a lot when we grew up, did some graffiti too. I always loved it. Not only because of how free it is but also because I love creating something that sends a message. I figured I was decent enough at it so I went for it.”

“What about Zayn, he’s not a graphic designer, is he?”

“Nah, he’s more of an artist, does these huge arse conceptual paintings and stuff. Works at a warehouse to support himself, got one of those forklift licenses and everything.”

“They always scared me,” Harry says.

“Who?” Louis says and frowns in confusion, smile playing at the corner of his lips.

“Forklifts." 

“Why?” Louis laughs, clearly amused.

“Maybe I had a bad experience as a kid or summat, not really sure… but I always feel like they’re going to impale me or run me over.”

“You know it’s not the actual machines that would be the cause if that were to happen, right? There’s a reason people get a license for it,” Louis says dryly.

Harry rolls his eyes, “I know! Phobias don’t need to make sense, that’s like… part of the definition!”

“Any other phobias lurking around in that pretty head of yours then?”

Harry is not blushing at the off hand compliment, he really isn’t. “Erhm… not really, I’m not very fond of spiders, but I think it’s reasonable to be a bit wary of anything with that many legs.”

Louis laughs loudly, “Yeah, you’re right. Not a big fan of bugs either, same with birds to be honest.”

“Birds? Why birds?” Harry asks and knows he probably looks a bit too fond looking at Louis.

“They’re unpredictable and flap with their wings everywhere,” Louis says and demonstrates their movements with his hands.

Harry wants to kiss him senseless.

 

\---

 

As they get closer to Harry’s flat, Harry feels the need to prolong the evening, much like the other times he’s spent with Louis. Like it’s never quite enough. Being around Louis is mesmerising, a bit like Christmas, your birthday and New Years Eve all wrapped up into the (very gorgeous) shape of a bright, loud and breathtakingly beautiful boy. It makes Harry feel giddy with excitement, warm with affection and dizzy with want - all at the same time. He thinks that maybe it should be exhausting, getting so worked up by simply being near Louis, but all he feels is elated.

“You want to come up for a cuppa?” Harry asks as they slow down in front of his steps.

Louis smiles and nods, eyes crinkling, “Love to, thanks.” 

Harry prepares the tea for them and they share it on the sofa as they watch re-runs of Friends. Louis is leaning against his side, so warm and lovely, and Harry can’t help the small surge of _not yet, not yet, please don’t leave yet_ that goes through his mind between every episode. He makes them a quick stir fry as an excuse to keep Louis a little longer.

When they’ve finished eating and the TV announcer tells them to stay tuned for Two And A Half Men, Harry feels his stomach drop but then Louis pulls him in for a kiss that quickly grows heated. 

“I think you should let me suck your cock,” Louis whispers, eyes teasing, and Harry just burrows his face in the crook of Louis’ neck.

The end of him, he swears.

 

\---

 

WEDNESDAY

“And then Nick tells the bastard to sod off because we don’t want any homophobic bloody clients and I’ve honestly never seen someone with a redder face! He looked like he was going to explode!” Louis rambles on dramatically, telling Harry about an incident with a client earlier that day.

Harry looks amused but also a bit concerned, “What did your boss say?” and Louis raises a sharp eyebrow at him. 

“The arsehole literally told us they ‘don’t want any queers buying their products’ and me and Nick just sat there like, ‘You realise you’re talking to two queers right now right?’ and I mean, okay, our boss wasn’t exactly thrilled but she also likes me and Nick a lot so what’s she going to do? We were basically being harassed!” Louis says and throws his arms out. 

“Yeah, you’re right, I’m just glad your boss sees it that way. I think a lot of business owners always go with the ‘customer’s always right’- thing,” Harry explains as he continues putting together the lasagne he’s preparing for them.

“I know, which is the worst concept ever, but like. I think my boss knew what to expect when she hired me and Nick as a team. We bring the sass and gayness levels of that place up to acceptable, to be honest.”

Harry laughs loudly at that, “I’m sure you do,” he says and his eyes sparkle with amusement. “I’m sure ‘the levels’ were completely subpar before you got there. 

“You bet!” Louis grins before changing his focus to the dish Harry just put in the oven. “That looks delicious by the way.”

“I hope you’ll like it,” Harry says and makes his way over to Louis’ spot on the counter.

Louis pulls on his earlobes to get him closer and Harry laughs, dimples popping. “Enough about me, how was your day?” Louis asks softly once Harry is only inches away.

“Not as eventful, thankfully, had a really good sandwich for lunch though.”

“Oh that’s nice, love a good sandwich,” Louis teases before closing the distance between them.

Kissing Harry has quickly become a ridiculously enjoyable part of Louis’ life and he really can’t seem to get enough of it. Harry’s lips are the most exquisite shade of pink and they’re so soft Louis’ going a little mad with it. Louis has had a few crushes on people over the years, but they’ve never felt this intense before. Everything about Harry catches his attention from the shape of his eyebrows, his deep slow drawl as he talks or the way his nose sometimes scrunch up when he looks at Louis.

They eat the food at the kitchen table, throwing one silly question after another at each other.

“Okay, so, biggest fear?” Harry asks, catching a bit of tomato sauce at the corner of his mouth with his tongue. Louis stares at his lips for a bit before answering.

“Erhm… I don’t know, maybe… not being there for my family? I hate that we don’t live in the same city anymore but I still try to visit as often as I can. I want them to feel like they can rely on me. You?”

“That’s really sweet. I think mine might be… like. Not making a difference? Like. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing, but I just. I want to feel like I made an impact? I sound so full of myself but it’s just. If I can do something for just one person that’d be enough.”

“Well, you already achieved that didn’t you? I’m sure there’s tons of people who feel like you’ve helped them and I mean, your family loves you and your friends adore you so…”

Harry chuckles, “Yeah yeah whatever. Your turn.”

“Dreams for the future! Like, life goals,” Louis says.

“Oh bringing out the big guns, now, are we?” Harry smiles.

“You can count on it, now lay it on me,” Louis laughs. 

“I’m… I’m not really sure actually.” Harry says after a few moments and frowns, “I mean… I feel like I still need some time to figure that out.”

“Oh you’ve still got time, young Harold, and it always changes anyways, right? Like when you’re a kid you want to become a footie player and then you realise that’s impossible so you set your sight on becoming a mediocre graphic designer instead, yeah?” Louis grins and he lures another laugh out of Harry. He should keep a score to be honest. He’ll make sure he wins the grand prize as Harry Styles Entertainer of the Year.

“You always put yourself down, I loved the stuff you showed me the other day,” Harry says. “What about you then?”

Louis knows the answer to this because it’s really always been the same for him. “I want kids. A family. The whole picket fence kit.”

“Yeah? Having so many siblings didn’t scare you off?” Harry asks curiously.

“The opposite I think, I’m used to a full house, you know?”

“That’s nice. It’s a nice life goal, I think,” Harry says and starts to clean off the table. Louis gets up to help.

“Thanks, came up with it all on my own,” Louis grins proudly and Harry huffs out another laugh. He’s so cute Louis kind of wants to eat him up. And that train of thought swiftly turns into something completely different. Soon enough Louis drags Harry towards the bedroom, to “have a taste” as he puts it, Harry rolls his eyes but doesn’t seem to mind at all.

 

\---

THURSDAY

They have set a goal for the night and they are both very determined to do everything in their power to succeed - Harry has to become decent at playing FIFA. They’ve got crisps, beer and unreasonable amounts of chocolate bars courtesy of Louis. Harry is ready. He tries his best not to get distracted by the white and very flimsy excuse for a vest that hangs off of Louis’ small frame, showing off what seems to Harry as miles and miles of golden skin. But Harry doesn’t get distracted. No. FIFA. Yes.

Louis switches between playing dirty to win for himself and patiently showing Harry how to work the controller. Harry is stubborn and also prone to pouting and huffing so Louis’ light laughter and teasing remarks eases the tension and makes it a lot more fun. Whenever Harry scores a goal or takes the ball from an opponent he gets a crinkly smile or, if he’s real lucky, a kiss. Harry has always believed in positive reinforcement and feeling Louis’ nimble fingers get caught up in his hair, his smooth tongue sliding along Harry’s bottom lip and thin lips pressing insistently against his, might be the greatest motivation ever.

“Okay, show us what you got then!” Louis exclaims after a couple hours. He drops his own controller on the table and gesticulates between Harry and the TV. “Dazzle me with all the things you’ve learnt from the master.”

Harry laughs at Louis’ _slightly_ exaggerated expectation of what he might have learned in only a few hours but still counters with, “Oh, I’ll _blow you_ away, just you wait.” He sniggers at his own joke and Louis rolls his eyes and groans even if he can’t hide the grin taking over his face.

“You wish, mister, first show me you mastered the art of FIFA and then we’ll see,” Louis nods towards the controller Harry sort of forgot he was holding. He might get a little distracted by Louis. Just a little.

Harry starts up the game and does his best not to fuck up. He’s biting his lip in concentration and tries to shut out Louis shouting remarks at him. After his first goal Louis gets up from his seat and goes into the kitchen, mumbling something about more beer. Harry relaxes infinitesimally without his audience and keeps playing.

When it takes a while for Louis to come back, Harry raises his voice a bit to be heard over the sound of the game, “Babe, will you get me a beer, as well?”

It takes a few seconds for his brain to catch up with why his cheeks are suddenly burning hotter than the fires of hell. When it does, he drops the controller and tries to work through his mind short circuiting. _Babe babe babe babe babe._ He’s nearly shivering with embarrassment at how easy it rolled off his tongue. His heart is rabbiting in his chest. He can’t recall calling someone babe in his life ever and even though he knows Louis has used the endearment several times when they’re in bed together, his breath catches with what it means. How easily it fell from his lips.

Louis comes back with two beers in hand, but he puts them on the table and swiftly straddles Harry’s lap. He cradles Harry’s red cheeks in his hands and when Harry dares to meet his eyes he sees fondness and heat burn there. Louis kisses him deeply and Harry can’t help but feeling like he’s somehow still getting rewarded for doing something good _._ The idea sends hot pulsing heat down to his groin and he grabs onto Louis’ thighs to bring him closer. 

“Let’s go to bed,” Louis breathes out hotly against his lips as they part and Harry kisses him again. 

When Louis goes down on him a few minutes later, Harry thinks that his own embarrassing overreaction might be worth it if this is the outcome. Like. Completely, totally, utterly worth it.

 

\---

 

FRIDAY

Louis needs groceries. He needs food and beer and cereal and _things._ He also hates grocery shopping on his own, so naturally Harry has to come with. Because Harry is awesome company and he also genuinely enjoys grocery shopping so it’s a win - win kind of thing really. On the way over to the store he even tries to get Louis _organised._

“Did you make a list?” Harry asks and Louis throws him a sceptical look before turning back to focus on not crashing Zayn’s car.

“Do you _think_ I made a list?” Louis answers and wonders why Harry even bothered asking. Louis is not a list making sort of person.

“ _No_ , but we could make one now!” Harry says excitedly.

“Why would we do that? I wouldn’t even know what to put on it.”

Harry sighs and pulls out his phone as he turns his body as far as he can towards Louis. “Okay, but what do you need? Do you have all the essentials? Do you have a plan for what you’re going to cook this weekend or next week?”

“Erhm, let’s see… Food - don’t know what essentials even mean - and no, I don’t know what I’m cooking this weekend or next week. That’s why I’m going _grocery shopping_. _”_

Harry pouts. Louis doesn’t even have to look at him to know he is and when he throws a glance his way (because pouting Harry is hard to resist) his suspicion is confirmed. “No need to get snarky, I just know you’ll forget something if you don’t make a list. That’s like. The whole point. 

Louis reaches over to pinch Harry’s squishy cheek, “I’m sure I’ll be fine, _babe_. That’s what the 24/7 on the corner is for yeah?”

He manages to catch Harry’s blush before looking back on the road. Ever since Harry’s slip up last night Louis has been teasing him a bit about how embarrassed he got. It’s absolutely delightful. Harry is absolutely delightful. Awfully so. _Ungh._

 

\---

 

Louis grabs a trolley and they head towards the vegetable and fruit aisles. Harry makes suggestions, which sometimes are met by a deadpan glare and sometimes with a shrug. A shrug seems to mean yes in Harry’s world because he puts all those items in the trolley. In secret Louis revels in how engaged Harry is in the shopping and he studies him as he picks up different items to check the quality or the price or whatever it is he’s doing. He’s _so handsome_. Today he’s got his hair up in a bun and he wears a black woollen coat over a grey t- shirt and tight jeans. On his feet a pair of tan boots. He looks like he’d smell really good if Louis would cuddle in close and press his nose to the hollow of his throat. Louis’ thoughts these days are obnoxious at best. 

“I thought I’d cook something for you tonight for a change,” Louis says as they make their way over to the bread.

“Yeah? What did you have in mind?” Harry asks and looks incredibly pleased, dimples popping. _Pretty silly thing you._

“I’m no Harry Styles in the kitchen but I make really good pizza?” Louis says and looks at Harry to see if he approves.

Harry giggles, dimples deepening even further, “Sounds lovely, Lou.”

They get the necessary ingredients for that, as well as a bunch of other items, before heading to the freezers. The freezers are Louis’ favourite section of the store because they carry lovely things such as ice cream and nuggets. He’s standing on his tippy toes to reach the mint chocolate chip when Harry chuckles and wraps his arms around him from behind, making him fall back onto the soles of his shoes.

“You need any help, _babe_?” Harry asks and suddenly it’s Louis who is blushing. _Bloody turntables._

“I was just about to get it before someone very rudely interrupted me,” Louis grumbles but sags against him when Harry presses a kiss just below his ear. Harry just chuckles again and reaches over his head to grab the ice cream.

Right as they’re about to head to the check out, someone calls Harry’s name and they both look up at the same time. Louis is suddenly very aware of his hand at Harry’s waist and Harry kissing him all of two seconds ago. 

Harry’s cheeks are pink but he smiles at a woman in her forties walking up to them. “Hi Cammie, how are you?” He lets go of Louis to give her a hug.

“I’m good thanks, haven’t seen you in ages! How are you?” she asks Harry, but Louis can tell she’s nearly bursting with curiosity at who he is because she can’t seem to look away for more than a few seconds.

“I’m good, really good,” Harry smiles and then goes, “This is Louis, Louis this is Cammie, we used to work at the same bakery when I was at uni.”

Louis reaches over to shake her hand, “Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, _likewise,_ ” she smiles and she keeps looking between Harry and Louis. “So…I didn’t know you were gay, Harry.” And okay, wow, that’s straightforward. _Pun intended._

Harry seems to choke on air, ”Erhm... I’m. I…” He’s blushing furiously now and Louis would laugh if Harry didn’t seem so utterly lost. 

“I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, I’m just curious, you know me!” Cammie laughs and waves off Harry’s obvious discomfort. Louis wants to scoff at her but resists.

“Not offended,” Harry says and seems to recover a bit because he smiles and puts a hand at the small of Louis’ back.

“Oh good then! Well, lovely to meet you. Both. Lovely to meet you both,” Cammie rambles. “Need to eeh…” she nods her head, smiles slightly and then she’s gone.

He waits till she’s out of earshot before looking up at Harry. “What in the _bloody hell_ was that?”

Harry lets out a loud relieved laugh, “I really don’t know.” He shakes his head in disbelief, “I mean. She was always a bit blunt, I guess.”

“Yeah, _no shit,_ ” Louis says through a grin.

As they make their way through check out and out to the car, Harry doesn’t stop smiling and he doesn’t let go of Louis’ waist once. It makes Louis’ insides feel like molten lava.

 

\---

 

The pizza is in the oven and Louis is currently occupied by Harry’s large hands grabbing at his bum and his mouth working on a mark just below Louis’ jaw. Louis is 25 years old and he’s pretty sure he hasn’t had a love bite since sixth form, but with Harry’s tongue soothing over his skin he can’t really bring himself to mind.

“So gorgeous, so fucking sexy, can’t keep my hands off of you,” Harry pants out.

“Don’t,” Louis moans and arches into Harry, exposing his neck to Harry’s eager mouth and sliding closer to the edge of the counter, pulling Harry against him with his legs wrapped around his thighs. They create hot friction between them and it’s just turning from good to _good_ , when the alarm on his phone goes off. Louis groans loudly, “I fucking _hate_ food!”

Harry chuckles, “You really don’t, you just like getting off _more_.”

“Write that on my gravestone, will you?” Louis says as he pushes Harry away and hops down from the counter to take the pizza out of the oven.

“Here lies Louis Tomlinson, if you thought he loved food - you should have seen him ‘round a cock.”

Louis bursts out laughing, “Oh my fucking _GOD._ ”

Harry is laughing too but he has the audacity to look a bit offended as well, “But it’s funny! Because like, what if you really just loved a tender rooster!” Harry gets out between fits of giggles.

“That doesn’t even make any sense! You should be forbidden to talk, honestly, who even raised you?” Louis says and shakes his head disapprovingly. He still pulls Harry down for another snog before dinner.

 

\---

 

SATURDAY

_There’s light airy laughter surrounding him. Flashes of golden skin and blue eyes sparkling like lighting. Soft touches press into his skin and he’s got cool smooth sheets wrapped around his legs. The smell of sleep, sweat, soap and something he’s come to identify as **boy** fills his nostrils. _

When Harry breathes in and feels his nose pressed against warm skin, his eyes tear up behind his closed eyelids because it’s _real_. In his sleep muddled mind he thinks about how he always used to search for something. Subconsciously looking for a missing piece but with no sense of direction. And he thinks that maybe this is it. Maybe this smell and the warmth slowly waking up the butterflies in the pit of his stomach is what he was searching for all along. He lets his hand travel along curves of naked skin. Smooth hair covering a thigh. The dip of a waist. He carefully presses his fingertips along a slowly rising ribcage. Louis shifts under his hand and when Harry opens his eyes, he’s met by blue ones that look so soft that his eyes burn with the threat of tears again.

“Morning, pretty,” Louis greets him, voice raspy from sleep and he’s the fucking embodiment of sexy. His fringe messy over his forehead, body slow and warm, his hands pulling Harry closer.

“Hi,” Harry says and can’t stop the grin spreading over his face. He lets Louis’ hands mould him against his side, easily melting into him. Harry starts pressing soft kisses down Louis’ neck, his tongue darting out to taste his skin. Louis sighs contently, his hand finding it’s way into Harry’s curls, rubbing against his scalp. 

Louis’ phone starts ringing as Harry makes his way down to Louis’ collarbones. 

“Hi Stanley,” Louis answers and he doesn’t stop petting Harry’s head so Harry continues his morning exploration. “Well, I’ve been busy,” Louis smirks into the phone and then he laughs at Stan’s answer. “Yeh yeh, sure. Erhm… can Harry come?” 

Harry looks up at the mention of his name and Louis’ got his eyebrow raised at him in question, as if Harry would have any idea what they’re talking about. Not that it really matters - Harry always wants to come. He nods and smiles.

“Yes, he’s here… uh huh… oh god stop yapping Stan, we’ll be there.” He hangs up. “Stanley demands we have lunch with him today,” he concludes.

“We? Did he specifically ask for me?” Harry grins.

“He mostly complained about me not picking up my phone this week. Have no idea what he’s getting at,” Louis grins back at him. A billion and one flashes of sparkling warmth radiates through Harry’s chest. He leans over and kisses him.

They get a little distracted but about an hour later they’re ready to head out. Stan is sitting at a table looking at the menu as they arrive. When he sees them his face contorts into what looks like a mix between fond and slightly horrified. Harry doesn’t know if it’s got anything to do with how his own hand seems to have found its way into Louis’ back pocket or maybe because of the kiss Louis planted on his cheek as they entered the pub. 

“Well hello,” Stan greets them and stands up to give them both hugs. “You look like you’ve just rolled out of the love nest.”

Louis rolls his eyes at him, “Hi Stanley, lovely to see you too.”

“Hi, good to see you,” Harry says and he might be blushing a little in delight.

They sit down, Louis and Harry next to each other opposite Stan, and order their food once they’ve picked out what they want. Stan tells them about his workweek and eventually starts going into such elaborate detail that Louis frowns and squints his eyes in suspicion.

“Okay, stop,” Louis says and puts his hand in front of Stan’s face. “What’s really going on?”

Stan looks a little embarrassed and Harry smiles because it’s kind of cute. Not Louis- cute but still. “Erhm… well. There might be… there’s this girl-” he starts and Louis gasps out loudly.

 _“I knew it!_ You sneaky thing you! _”_ Louis says triumphantly.

Stan groans and puts his face in his hands. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything." 

“Of course you should! I’m your best mate, I need to know these things.”

“Ungh, you always make such a fuss though, it’s really not a big deal.”

Louis opens his mouth to protest but Harry puts a hand over his mouth and turns to Stan, “Tell us about her, I’m sure she’s lovely if you like her.”

Louis glares at him but Stan seems encouraged. “Her name is Samira. She works in administration and she’s really funny and smart. Like, super hot too. I don’t know. She’s really nice and I don’t know if I should ask her out.”

“Of course you should!” Harry says excitedly - he loves a good love story.

“Does she even like you?” Louis grunts, still clearly put out from being silenced. Harry elbows him in the side.

“I don’t know? How do you know?” Stan asks, clearly motivated enough to ignore Louis’ grumpiness.

“Does she flirt with you?” Harry asks. 

“Unnnghhh, how do you even know? She’s always nice and makes jokes but I don’t want to be the creep who takes her being nice as some sort of invitation.”

Louis sighs and seems to let go of his grudge, “Okay, that’s understandable, but what do you guys talk about? Is it always work related? Do you have chemistry?” Harry puts a hand on his thigh.

“No, we talk about all different sorts of things, she reads a lot as well so that’s cool. We had lunch together the other day and we never ran out of things to talk about.”

“There you go, good start, good start. But maybe just, ask her out?” Louis says and Harry nods.

“But what if she says no? Wouldn’t it get weird?”

“Not as weird as you _not_ asking her out and making her think you just want her as a friend,” Louis says and then turns to the waitress as they get the food. “Thanks, love.”

Louis and Harry keep encouraging Stan as they make their way trough their burgers and chips and he agrees to asking her out and then going underground if she turns him down. Seems like the most viable option. Harry keeps losing focus throughout the conversation when he feels Louis foot nudge against his or when Louis leans into his side. Harry wants to kiss him. Wants to put his arm around him and breathe in the heavy scent of _Louis_ at the spot behind his ear. Louis might have been right about how being around him is a lesson in self-restraint. He’s just so goddamned tempting.

“So how are things going with the two of you, then?” Stan smirks, apparently ready to move the focus away from himself.

“Smashing! Turns out Harry here is quite the bum lover so we get along _just fine,”_ Louis says and Harry laughs loudly. Louis’ way of effectively shutting down the conversation is quite impressive as Stan rolls his eyes and tells them to forget he even asked.

Once they’ve finished lunch Harry and Louis decide to head over to Harry’s to spend the rest of the day in bed to watch Netflix. Amongst other things. Harry can’t seem to stop the constant buzz sizzling beneath his skin. The butterflies in his belly coming alive as soon as Louis is close to him. As if his skin is covered in thousands of magnets, drawing him towards the other boy. Like there’s always something missing unless his skin is on Louis’. Chemically, physically, astronomically _right._ And he knows he’s being dramatic. Knows that the stars and the moon and the sun doesn’t care that he’s found this boy. Knows the universe doesn’t revolve around those sparkling blue eyes. But it’s still the only way he can make sense of it. Louis is brighter than every galaxy, every burning sun and every supernova put together. Like Louis himself belongs amongst those unfathomable, slightly terrifying but so shatteringly beautiful celestial bodies. Harry doesn’t know how to say all these things, how to put together words that would make sense to anyone else, to Louis. He tries to convey the world changing, the paradigm shifting, the universe simultaneously imploding and exploding, with the way his lips press to Louis’ skin, the way his fingers move inside him and through whispers of wonder into Louis’ ear. The small gasps escaping Louis’ lips the most precious treasure.

 

\---

 

SUNDAY

Breakfast at Harry’s is something completely different than breakfast at Louis’. Breakfast at Louis’ usually consists of drinking tea for 20 minutes and then inhaling cereal on the way out the door. Breakfast with Harry means waking up to the smell of food, making his way out to the kitchen to find Harry clad in nothing but a pair of tiny pants, squeezing oranges into fresh juice, the counter covered by bowls of fruit, bacon, eggs and scones fresh from the oven. It’s a bit like a wet dream. Louis’ version of a wet dream. With a side of domesticity to really get him going. _Ungh shut up, too early for thoughts._

Louis slides his arms around Harry’s narrow but soft waist, pressing kisses between his shoulder blades. “Are you making me breakfast?”

“What in the world gave you that idea?” Harry frowns at him over the shoulder, but his dimple deep in his cheek gives him away. 

“I like breakfast,” Louis mumbles. “And I really like these pants.” His hands slide down Harry’s sides to cover his delicious little bum. Harry sighs and moans quietly. 

“Maybe you’ll get _that_ for desert if you behave,” he then says cheekily and leaves Louis slightly gaping as he carries the juice over to the table. Louis grumbles and manages to push Harry down on a chair and kiss him thoroughly, morning breath and all.

It isn’t until they’ve made their way through the whole grain scones and finished the bacon that it happens. And it happens both instantly, in a matter of nanoseconds, and slowly, seeping it’s way into his mind, all at once. One moment it’s just Harry in front of him, laughing at his own joke, dimples deep, eyes like green Christmas lights, and the next moment it hits him like a crack making it’s way across a frozen lake.

_I’m in love with him. Oh god fucking help me, I’m in love with him._

And Harry keeps talking about Niall’s latest adventure while munching on a piece of mango, the rain keeps dropping against the window sill and somewhere outside there’s a bloody dog barking as if it’s business like usual. But Louis has stopped and started all at once. His fingers hover above his plate and his eyes are caught on the boy across from him, but his heart is racing wildly, the blood in his veins boiling and his cheeks burn with the realisation.

 _No. No and no. This is not happening. Too much, too soon. Who on this bloody earth thought this was a good idea? No thank you. Just a silly crush._ It’s all it is. A simple, casual sweet little thing of a crush. This has nothing to do with futures and commitment and hosting “dinner parties” and going on disgustingly romantic dates or the way the idea of Harry with a baby might be the single most overwhelming picture his mind can conjure. It’s got nothing to do with that, because it’s been three weeks and Louis doesn’t do this. God knows _Harry doesn’t do this._ He doesn’t date. He doesn’t date boys. And now Harry’s got a boy right in front of him who maybe wants to bloody fucking _keep him_ and no. Louis stands up from the table quietly, putting his dishes in the sink. Harry is talking to him but it’s all a bit vague and blurry. How Harry hasn’t noticed the world tilting is beyond Louis’ comprehension. Then Harry is on him, a large hand caressing his cheek, eyes worried and warm.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asks and Louis has to shake his head a bit to clear his thoughts.

He coughs slightly, “Ehrm. Yeah, yeah. I’m. I just. I remembered. I’ve got a thing with Lottie today. Sorry. She’s coming down for the day, we’re going shopping. At Sephora. Don’t have that in Donny. She likes to come down. Sorry I forgot,” and bloody hell he’s rambling. Who fucking cares where pretend-Lottie likes to go shopping? _Get the fuck out of here._

Harry looks at him like he can’t decide weather he’s confused, worried or amused. “Okay, erhm… well. Cool. You’re a good brother,” Harry says.

Louis smiles stiffly and throws a thumb over his shoulder. “I’ll just get dressed and get going.”

When he comes back out from the bedroom Harry is lingering, still dressed only in underpants, in the hallway. Harry draws closer and Louis just stands there because he really doesn’t want to leave but he really _really_ has to.

“Will you call me later?” Harry asks softly and trails his thumbs over Louis’ jawline.

Louis swallows against the lump in his throat, because why fucking _why_ did he have to go and ruin this with his fucking emotions? He nods and gives Harry a quick kiss at the corner of his mouth. “See you ‘round, Curly.”

And then he leaves. He leaves and finally lets his mind do what it does best – frantically and completely go into panic mode. He starts dry heaving after two blocks, leaning over the bushes as his cheeks burn with humiliation and tears prickles his eyes. Awesome. Supremely fucking splendid. _Way to deal with things Tommo, way to deal._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	6. 2.5. End of the beginning

Sunday 21.13  
**Hope you had a good time with Lottie today, I had a lovely weekend with you <3 xx **

Monday 09.35  
**Have you ever thought about how nothing rhymes with orange? Orange smorange.**

Monday 17.18  
**Call unanswered**

Monday 17.20  
**Just called to see how your day was. How was your day? xx**

Tuesday 12.31  
**The sandwiches from the place across the street really are the best. I wonder what they put in their hummus!**

Wednesday 18.15  
**Call unanswered**

Wednesday 22.06  
**Call unanswered**

Thursday 23.03  
**Hope you had a good day today xx**

Friday 20.09  
**Please tell me what’s going on and if you’re alright? Please.**

Friday 20.35 **  
_i’m alright. can u meet up tomorrow?_ **

Friday 20.37  
**Yeah, I’m available all day.  
**

Friday 20.38  
**Are we ok?**

Friday 20.44 **  
_i’ll come by ur place at 11? we’re ok_**

Friday 20.45  
**Sounds good, see you then!**

**\---**

Harry barely sleeps all night, his stomach in knots. He’s been going over the previous weekend in his head so many times by now, he’s pretty sure he could recall every single item they bought at the grocery store if someone asked him. He doesn’t understand. Doesn’t know what he did to make Louis act like this. At the beginning of the week he figured Louis was just busy. By Wednesday he was convinced Louis had gone and gotten himself mugged on his morning run. (Harry even considered arranging a search party if Louis hadn’t showed up by the end of the week) On Thursday he told himself that Louis would call when he had the time, but before he went to bed that night he texted him with shaky hands and a wobbly bottom lip.

He’s been flittering around his flat all morning. Fussing about the placement of his flowerpots and triple checking he’s got Louis’ favourite tea in the cupboard. He puts his hair up in a bun to later let it fall down over his shoulders. He makes the bed and puffs up the throw pillows on the sofa. He changes his clothes and puts his hair up in a bun again ten minutes later. When the doorbell rings at 11.07 he thinks he might be sick. 

Louis looks tired and maybe a bit scared. Insecure. Harry lets him in and his whole body screams from how much he’s missed him. _I don’t want to lose you._ When Louis closes the door Harry can’t help himself, he throws his arms around Louis’ smaller frame and does his best not to sob into the soft fabric of Louis’ Adidas jumper. He lets out a muffled “Hi, I missed you,” instead. He’s gotten himself so worked up he barely notices Louis’ hands grabbing onto the back of his t-shirt. They separate and Louis smiles nervously at him.

“Can we…” he clears his throat. “Can we sit down for a bit?”

Harry nods frantically, “Yeah, yes of course. Do you want anything? Tea?”

Louis just shakes his head, “No thanks, I’m good.”

They head into the bedroom and Louis seems to hesitate on where to sit but picks the sofa over the bed. Harry feels like he’s going to start bawling any second. He erratically starts thinking of ways to prolong this. To avoid whatever it is Louis is here to tell him for a little longer. Maybe he can make some muffins? Louis likes muffins right? Or maybe he should put the kettle on after all?

“Please come here,” Louis says and he sounds soft and lovely and everything that breaks Harry into a billion little pieces. Harry sits down next to him on the sofa. “So,” Louis bites his bottom lip and fiddles with his fingers on his lap. “First of all I want to apologies for this week, I’ve been acting like a dickhead and I’m sorry.” He doesn’t look up to meet Harry’s eyes.

“It’s alright. I just. I got a bit worried. I didn’t know…” Harry starts, doesn’t want Louis to think he’s angry, as if acting like Louis is a scared animal will keep him around for a little longer.

“Harry please, it’s alright to call me bloody twat,” Louis interrupts him and a small smile twitches at the corner of his lips.

Harry smiles too but he’s pretty sure it’s a wonky affair. “A bloody twat,” he says quietly and shakes his head at Louis’ ridiculousness. _Ridiculous, lovely, please don’t leave._

A few moments pass before Louis lets out a deep shaky breath, instantly serious again. “Okay, so… The thing is. This thing. Us. It’s… It’s just been going really fast for me and… and I don’t know what to do with it.”

Harry feels his throat clog up and can’t get anything but a quiet “Oh,” out of his mouth.

“I don’t… I don’t usually,” Louis starts but then shakes his head and tries again. “Fuck…I’m… I’m falling for you. I mean… I’m… I’m _in_ love with you and what I want to say is… if you only want this to be a casual thing, I can’t see you anymore. It’s too hard for me… I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for it to happen like this - so fast. I know it’s only been a month but you’re already _so_ important to me… It’s bloody terrifying.”

Another few moments pass in silence before Harry blurts out, “You’re in love with me?”, stunned. Louis nods carefully and looks at him through long eyelashes. _He’s so beautiful and_ _he’s in love me_. Someone is in love with him. _Louis is in love with me._ The tears well up in Harry’s eyes, relief flooding his system. “I thought you’d say you didn’t want to see me anymore,” he sobs out and wipes at his eyes. Louis hesitantly inches closer to him on the sofa.

“Are you…? So you… are you saying you want to keep seeing me?” Louis asks, uncertainty and curious hope in his voice.

Harry honestly doesn’t know weather to laugh or start sobbing even harder. “Yes, of course I do!” he says and tries to smile through his tears, he must look a right mess. “I’m so fucking gone for you I don’t even know what do to with myself. How do you not know that?”

He sees tears well up in Louis eyes as his whole face break out into the widest grin Harry’s ever seen. His eyes crinkled up and so incredibly bright. “Yeah? Really?” Louis asks and scoots so close to him they can lean their heads together.

Harry cradles Louis’ head in his hands, tilting his chin up to meet his eyes. “ _Yes._ Jesus Christ Lou… _yes.”_ He presses their lips together and the last bit of tension and worry that’s been filling his mind over the past week evaporates. Louis seems equally eager to kiss him again because he grabs at Harry’s shirt, lips insistent and tongue darting out almost instantly to deepen the kiss. Harry ends up straddling Louis’ thighs, hovering over Louis and curling a piece of his fringe behind his ear. “Why the fuck did you scare me like that though?” Harry asks and tries to search for an answer in Louis’ eyes but Louis’ averts his gaze and looks embarrassed.

Louis’ hands rub carefully over Harry’s thighs, fingers fiddling with the outer seam of his jeans, eyes focused on the task. “I’m not… I’m not very good with confrontation,” he admits after a bit. “Like. I don’t have a problem with honesty or anything like that but… sometimes it just takes a while for me to sort things out in my head.” Louis looks up at him to gauge his reaction. Harry’s heart is tugging towards his ribcage, as if it wants to escape and get even closer to Louis. _Beautiful, perfect, you’re not leaving._

“Why didn’t you just say that, though? This week’s been really horrible,” Harry says, his voice soft and a bit desperate.

Louis sighs, “I know, I’m sorry. It was horrible for me too… I just… I guess I just felt like I had to get away from you. I’m sorry. I missed you so much.”

Harry’s thumbs caress along Louis’ sharp cheekbones, somewhat in wonder over that this boy is back with him. “It’s okay, I’m just happy you’re here. Like. _So_ happy.”

Louis smiles softly, “Me too… I wasn’t sure if I was making this up in my head, you know? Thought that maybe it was just me.”

Leaning down to kiss him, Harry whispers against Louis’ lips, “Definitely not just you.”

They share a few kisses, not urgent or rushed but languid, every moment savoured. Harry feels a bit dizzy with how his whole body has gone from stress and worry to warm fuzzy excitement in the past few minutes. He’s dizzy with Louis’ lips against his, his body close. Dizzy with how _Louis is in love with him._ Love. Such a huge, terrific, magnificent, splendid, life altering concept. Something he never thought he’d feel. As if it wasn’t for him. Like a foreign concept solely meant for others, but now that it fills every fibre of his body it feels outrageous to have thought that _he_ wasn’t meant for this too. Because in this moment it feels like it is all that he is. Like his heart was constructed to handle a quicker pace, his veins carved out to carry the hormones shooting through his body like they couldn’t get out there any faster. As if his eyes were meant to travel over every inch of golden skin, his nose adapted to make him fall in love with the way Louis smells right behind his ear. His plush lips a perfect fit against Louis’ thin soft ones.

When they separate for air, Louis pushes him down on the sofa and lies down on top of him. His ear against the exhilarated beating of Harry’s heart, his arms curling around his torso, hips settling between Harry’s thighs. Harry’s hands smoothes carefully over the expanse of Louis’ back. Relishing in the feeling of Louis close, of how Louis wants him, how somehow today wasn’t the end but the beginning of something great. 

“No one’s ever been in love with me before,” Harry says and he can hear the marvel in his own voice, like he still can’t really believe Louis’ words. Louis places his chin on Harry’s chest and gives him a look of disbelief, eyebrow raised.

“You don’t actually believe that right?”

Harry’s not sure what to make of Louis’ question, “What do you mean?”

Louis laughs lightly, “I’m sure there’s been plenty of people who’ve fallen for those irresistible dimples before and I’m sure I won’t be the last.”

Harry squints a bit and bites his bottom lip in thought. Sure, there has been people who have shown interest. Girls who’ve called him charming and cute. Girls who have given him their number with a hopeful glint in their eyes, even though he’s tried to kindly but firmly tell them he’s not interested in dating. But does it even count? Do those fleeting connections even come close to this? Harry doubts it. Doubts that anything anyone’s ever felt for him has been as bright and overwhelming as what he feels when he looks into Louis’ sparkling blue eyes. “Never like this,” he says carefully, as if he’s not yet sure of how to explain it. “I don’t think… I know people have liked me, or wanted me, but not like this. It feels so different when it’s you.”

Louis looks at him like he’s the eighth wonder of the world - it makes Harry’s cheeks burn. “How do you mean different?” he asks and juts his chin out slightly, as if encouraging Harry to continue.

“Well… first of all, no one’s ever told me before, that must mean something right? Like… you told me, even if you were scared to talk to me, you still did it. That means something. And I think the way you look at me is different, makes me feel different.”

Louis breaks out into a cheeky grin, “The way I look at you, so you’ve noticed huh?” he says, waggling his eyebrows.

Harry can’t stop his own smile but slaps Louis’ arm lightly. “I’m trying to be serious here,” he says and attempts a pout. Louis just laughs at him, so he guesses he’s not fully successful.

“You know this is new for me as well, right?” Louis lays his cheek down on Harry’s chest and peers up at him, fingers trailing small patterns over Harry’s collarbones. “Like I’ve been in relationships… _a_ relationship before, but it didn’t feel like this.” 

The creatures in Harry’s stomach flutters at the statement. “Why not?”

“I mean… I was in love with him but we didn’t really…fit? And I… I’ve dated people but it was never… I’ve never been this drawn to anyone else,” Louis says and a faint blush paints his cheeks. _So incredibly breathtakingly fucking beautiful. I’m so fucking in love with you._ “Like you know at game night? Stan asked me what the fuck was going on with you and me because he’d never seen me like that with anyone before.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in surprise, “He did?” he asks and Louis nods. “What did you say?”

A smirk curves over Louis’ lips, “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he says and leans up to kiss him. “I told him you’re annoying as fuck because I was so gone for you already.” His eyes fucking _shine_ and Harry grabs onto the back of his head to pull him in for another kiss.

After that it’s like the words have run out and the only thing left is the feeling of skin against skin. When Louis slips his tongue into Harry’s mouth while pulling at Harry’s tied up hair, Harry’s desperate moan fills the thick heated air between them. Harry can very well go a week or two without coming if he doesn’t feel like it, but it seems like Louis has not only weaselled his way into his heart but also affected his sex drive. _Severely_. All of a sudden, less than week without Louis’ mouth, his gorgeous waist beneath Harry’s hands or his loud gasps of pleasure seems like a lifetime. It doesn’t take long before Harry is achingly hard in his jeans and he’s pushing up to meet Louis’ hips moving with determined thrusts on top of him.

Louis groans and shuts his eyes in pleasure, “Fuck… bed, let’s move to the bed,” he says desperately and drags himself off of Harry.

Watching Louis undress might be top 3 of Harry’s favourite experiences ever. Whether it’s rushed or slow, done with a cheeky smirk or flushed cheeks and dark eyes, it’s absolutely mesmerising. Right now he has perched himself on his knees in the middle of Harry’s bed, pulling his jumper and t-shirt off at the same time. Leaving him bare chested, with tousled hair and joggers hanging low on his hips. He bites his bottom lip and looks heatedly at Harry as he pushes a hand into his trousers. His breath hitching and comes out in short puffs as he starts working his fist over his hard cock, his gaze never wavering from Harry’s.

Harry is stuck by the end of the bed, taking in the scene before him. He wants to touch. He wants to touch so badly he’s _hurting_ , but the sight of Louis being so turned on and unabashed is _so much_ he doesn’t know what to do. Harry pushes the palm of his hand so hard against his own cock his vision blurs a bit. “Do you… do you have _any idea_ how fucking sexy you are?” he grumbles and focuses back on Louis.

Louis’ mouth falls open around a moan and then he falls back on the bed and pulls the rest of his clothes off. Now Harry _definitely_ has to touch. He takes off his own clothes quickly before crawling up on the bed and cover Louis’ body with his own. The feeling of Louis’ heated skin against him is everything. It doesn’t just make arousal thrum through his veins and his heart flutter, but he’s overcome with a sense of _belonging_. He pushes his face into Louis’ neck, breathing him in. “I missed you so much. You smell _so good,”_ he mumbles and his hips start thrusting against Louis’ on their own accord. He never knew someone’s smell could get him so hot.

Their tangle of limbs, bruising presses of lips and the wet slide of their tongues is uncoordinated, frantic and giddy. Relieved and overwhelmed bursts of laughter mingled with breathy moans and low rumbles in their chests. As Harry moves his fingers inside Louis their bodies slide together, Louis’ fringe plastered to his temples, Harry’s tongue catching droplets of sweat collecting at the hollow of his throat. It’s messy and it’s everything. When Louis lowers himself onto Harry’s cock they both hold their breath in suspension and then Louis starts grinding his hips in slow circles, making the world about nothing but the two of them.

Louis is holding himself up by clutching on to Harry’s hands, Harry’s arms steadied on his elbows against the mattress. He seems almost lost in the feeling, head thrown back, his nipples hard and a constant stream of “ _Yes, right there, god babe you feel so good, fuck_ _yes come on,”_ urging Harry on. Harry arches his pelvis to get even deeper inside him, the head of his cock pushing against Louis’ spot over and over.

“I’m so close, baby you’re so amazing, I’m so close,” Harry rambles, squeezing Louis’ hands. Louis starts moving his hips at a faster pace, snapping them back and forth to get them both closer to the edge. 

It starts with a tremble in his strong thighs moving up through his body until he’s positively shaking on top of Harry. “Fuuuuuuuck, fucking touch me, touch me _now_ ,” Louis moans out and all it takes is a tight pull from the base to the head of his cock for Louis to come all over Harry’s stomach and chest. His whole body trembling with it, his arsehole clenching down hard on Harry’s cock and after a few erratic thrusts Harry comes with the picture of an absolutely wrecked Louis behind his tightly shut eyelids.

Louis falls forward and goes limp on top of him, both of them too drained to move, their harsh breaths the only sound filling the air. It seems to take forever to get themselves together and Harry couldn’t be happier. The most beautiful boy, _his boy_ , on top of him, sticky and spent.

Eventually Louis seems to gather enough energy to slowly slide down next to Harry on the bed and then they lie like that, side by side, for another few minutes, just taking in what just happened. Harry pulls the condom off and ties it, before throwing it in the direction of the bin. Then he can’t resist any longer and he fights against his sore body to roll over on his side, his eyes sliding over Louis’ body, whose thighs are still trembling slightly from exertion. _God he’s a vision._

“You’re so beautiful to me, you have no idea,” Harry whispers and if he wasn’t already flushed he’s sure he would be now. 

Louis’ head falls to the side, bright blue eyes meeting Harry’s, and he slowly lets the backside of his hand caress Harry’s cheek. “How did I even find you?” he asks softly, before he seems to stop himself mid thought, and then comes to the same conclusion as Harry because they both answer “Niall,” before bursting out in giggles.

 

\---

 

Harry’s in the kitchen making them afternoon tea after sternly telling Louis to stay in bed and stay naked, without a single protest from Louis. He’s stretched out over the bed, his body exhausted and so, _so,_ sated. There’s been a constant tingling sensation all through his body since his brain caught up with the fact that Harry wants him. For real. Like. Dating and kissing and cuddles real. It’s difficult to stop smiling and if he wasn’t so fucking happy he might be embarrassed about how nauseatingly in love he is.

His phone starts vibrating in the pocket of his joggers and he answers when he’s managed to untangle it from the carelessly thrown away garment.

“Hi Mum!” he chirps and relaxes back onto the bed.

“Hi love, how are you? Doing any better?” Jay asks, concern colouring her words. Louis has to think for two seconds before remembering why she might be worried about him. His Mum has always been one of his greatest confidants and she’s been treated with his spectacularly gloomy mood over the past week.

“I’m good, like. Really, really good,” he says and a wide grins settles over his face.

"That’s lovely sweetheart. Did something happen? You sound happy,” she asks and sounds amused by her son’s change of mood.

Louis considers lying to her or brushing it off, but he’s also sort of bursting with the need to tell every single soul on earth that Harry Edward Styles is in love with him. “Mum…” he starts, not sure exactly where to start. _I want to marry him. I want to have his babies and build a house together. I want to see what he looks like at 30, 40 and 85._ Maybe not.

“Yes, love?” she says with exaggerated patience.

“You know a few weeks back, I told you about meeting someone? Niall’s friend?” Louis says, his heart beating a little faster with nerves and excitement about telling her.

“Mmhmm, Harry was it?”

“Yeah, Harry… erhm… well, he’s… Mum, I’m in love with him,” he says and can’t help grinning even though his cheeks flush.

“Oh, that’s lovely, _and_?” she says and Louis can tell she’s smiling.

“Well, he’s in the kitchen making me food right now and he’s in love with me too,” Louis rushes out.

“Oh honey, I’m so happy for you. That’s really lovely news,” his Mum answers fondly.

“He’s amazing, he makes me really happy.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from someone you care about. But what was this past week about then?”

Louis groans into the pillow, not exactly thrilled to tell his Mum about his behaviour. “I was just being a bloody tw… jerk, it’s all sorted out now,” he says and hopes she’ll drop it.

She huffs at his elegant self censoring but says, “That’s good, I’m happy for you sweetheart. Hey, I gotta go now, but tell him hi, yeah?”

Louis smiles, “I will, love you Mum.”

“Love you sweetheart, take care.”

When he throws his phone down on the floor amongst his clothes, he sees Harry watching him from the doorway. Harry looks impossibly fond, nose scrunching up slightly before he says, “That your Mum?”

“Yeah, she was wondering how I was doing… for some reason the past week had her worried,” Louis answers cheekily and makes grabby hands at Harry, who grins ( _unnngghhh dimples_ ) and pushes off the doorframe to join him on the bed.

“Yeah? Why is that?” Harry asks, leaning up on his elbow beside Louis, hair flowing down over his shoulders.

“Might’ve been a bit grumpy, apparently some douche made me fall for him and I obviously had to deal with that so,” Louis says and pokes Harry in the ribs. Harry laughs and plants kisses all over his face.

 

\---

 

As soon as he enters Niall’s flat he’s met by squinting eyes and a suspicious “What’s got you so… glowy?” before he’s pulled into a hug.

Harry grins, “Just in a good mood I guess,” he shrugs. “How are you, mate?”

Niall huffs and points at him, “You’re not getting off that easy mister, but I’m doing just fine, thank you.”

Harry grins at him and escapes into the living room where Liam greets him with a hug and a slap on the back. The three of them settle into the big sofa and share a pizza as Liam tells them about a guy at his gym who apparently has no idea how to work the machines but still acts like he owns the place. Harry laughs at the story but Liam seems undecided about whether or not he finds it funny. “Yesterday he kept jumping around on the treadmill! Like, doing these strange moves like he was dancing, _why would anyone do that?”_ Liam goes on and Niall is nearly folded in half from laughing so hard. They talk about Perrie’s new flat and how they all managed to get away from move helping duties and Niall tells them about his grandparents visiting over Christmas. It’s all very normal. Small jabs and ridiculous banter and they laugh almost as much as they speak. But there’s something there, like an underlying current that makes Harry’s stomach feel strange. Somewhere between worry and excitement. It becomes very apparent when Niall stops talking and they all fall silent, Liam and Niall both looking at him like they’re expecting _him_ to talk now. 

“ _What?_ ” he asks, even though he _knows._ Knows why they’re being weird and what they want to know. Knows they’re probably a bit wary of how to bring it up. But he’s not about to give them anything for free. If they want to ask they can ask.

“So, what’s been going on with you lately? Like… we haven’t seen you around as much,” Liam says and probably _tries_ to sound casual about it.

Harry draws his knees up to his chest and bites his bottom lips. He avoids looking at his best mates, feeling oddly fragile and exposed under their gazes. “Why do you ask? You know who I’ve been with.”

Liam seems at a loss of words at being confronted, so Niall takes a deep breath and continues for him, “And how’s that going? With Louis?”

Harry’s heart is beating heavily in his chest and his cheeks burn. He doesn’t even understand _why._ Niall _knows_ Louis, and Liam has met him twice, both of them have seen them kissing and leaving together at the end of the night so why does it feel like such a big deal to talk to them about this? 

“It’s going… fine. It’s… we’re…” he fiddles with a loose thread at the rip of his jeans. “I think we’re sort of… we’re together?” he says and cringes at how he turns it into a question. He sneaks a glance at his friends to see their reactions.

Niall is frowning and after a beat he says, “You know we’re fine with that right? You seem really nervous.”

Harry feels his throat clog up at that, because he _knows._ “Yeah, yeah I know… it’s just. It’s so new and I don’t really. I haven’t talked to anyone about it. Except Louis I mean.”

“We _know!_ ” Liam exclaims, “Why _haven’t_ you talked to us?” and he sounds hurt. Oh, _ouch._ Harry frowns because he hasn’t even considered the fact that they’d feel left out somehow.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, “I didn’t mean to like, _not_ talk to you, it’s just. It’s been a bit… intense." 

“Okay, so talk to us now then! We’ve barely seen you for a month mate and in the meantime you’ve gone and gotten yourself a boyfriend? Spill!” Niall says and his dramatic tone makes Harry laugh.

“What do you want to know? You’ve both met him,” he asks because he’s sure he could go on about Louis for hours if they don’t give him any direction.

“What do we-” Niall says incredulously, “Everything! What have you been doing? When did you decide to become boyfriends? Since bloody when do you date blokes?” 

Harry takes a deep breath and considers his answer. “We’ve just spent a lot of time together, like hung out and stuff. Then last week it got a bit… there was a misunderstanding but we talked it all out this weekend and realised we’re… in love.”

“You’re in love with him?” Liam asks and he looks like a proud mother. _Silly, amazing fucking incredible friends._

Harry nods, “Yeah, it’s… it’s a bit scary, but so good. I’m really happy,” a small smile curling around his lips.

“But like, how? I mean. You’ve never talked about lads like that ever? And we’re not stupid, we saw you together so we obviously knew something was going on but we didn’t know what,” Liam says and if he wanted to make it clear that him and Niall have discussed this before he succeeds. 

“You were both there when we met, that’s how it happened. We just, connected I guess?”

Niall cackles, “ _Connected?_ Is that what the kids are calling it these days? You guys were all over each other!”

“Oh _god,”_ Harry’s cheeks burn and he buries his face between his knees. “Why do you ask when you already know then?!”

“Because it’s different when you hook up with someone and when you fall in love with them,” Liam says carefully. “Like, Vicky said you were just experimenting and we thought…”

“ _Please_ don’t bring her into this, please,” Harry interrupts him. “It was never an experiment, that’s just her version of the truth. I mean… after the first time we met I couldn’t get him out of my head, I think he got me like two seconds after meeting him and then it’s just gotten more and more intense.”

Niall huffs, “You sound like a bloody love song,” but then he grins. “It’s fucking strange though mate, like. Not because it’s Louis or because he’s a bloke, but because it’s _you._ Have you ever dated anyone ever?”

Harry shakes his head, “Never wanted to before,” and he can hear how soft he sounds, like just the thought of Louis is melting him into a puddle of goo.

“That’s sweet Haz,” Liam says but then of course doesn’t stop there, “So are you gay now or what?”

Harry, now a lot more comfortable with the whole conversation, rolls his eyes. “I don’t know Liam, does it even matter?” he says and gives him a challenging look.

Liam blushes furiously, “No! No, of course not, I mean. Eeh-“

“What he’s trying to say is, if you wanna talk to us about it we’re here, like… we might not know exactly what you’re going through, but we’re your best mates and that will never change, yeh?” Niall says and puts an arm around Harry’s shoulders, pulling him into his side. “We love you mate, no matter what.”

Harry wants to bloody _cry,_ his friends are the actual _best_. “I love you guys,” he mumbles, voice thick.

“Yeah, love you,” Liam says and pats him on the shoulder.

They sit like that for a while before Niall pushes him up and off him, “Now tell us what it’s like sleeping with a bloke because I sort of always wondered what goes where.”

Harry bursts out laughing and pushes him off the sofa, “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	7. 3.1. Falling in love

_I never loved this hard this fast before_  
_But then again I never loved a boy like you before_  
_Never had somebody sweep me off the floor_  
_The way you do_

_\- Tami Tamaki_

_\------------------------_

 

Falling in love with Louis is like solving a puzzle and losing his mind over it, all at the same time. Harry feels at ease, like the world around him suddenly makes sense after years of chaos. But he also feels like he's free falling, none of the previous rules applying to this new state of being. And he is falling in love with Louis. Like a constant never ending, all encompassing course of events. He's falling in love with him when he's loud and all over the place, like his body mass is too small to contain all that is Louis Tomlinson. He's falling in love with him when he's softly spoken and gentle, his words comforting and warm. He's falling in love with him when he's angry and his cheeks are burning, when he's lashing out at the world and his fierceness is so breathtaking Harry has to close his eyes not to dissolve by the force of it. When even though Louis loves being the centre of attention, and Harry is the slowest talker on earth, he still listens so intently to Harry’s stories. Every time Louis lets out his airy laugh, Harry is falling in love with him. With every kiss and every press of fingers. Every time there's lightening flashing in those bright blue eyes. Every time a raspy voiced, bed headed and grumpy Louis asks for his morning cuppa - Harry is falling. He has fallen and is falling continuously, interchangeably.

In love.

 

\---

 

“That was my Mum,” Harry says as he hangs up the phone. Louis is sprawled on Harry’s two seater in front of the TV, eating crisps from the bag. “She’s coming over.”

Louis looks over at him with a puzzled look. “Right now?” he asks and sits up.

Harry nods, “Yeah, she’s picking up some stuff I borrowed last time I was home.”

“So do you… want me to leave?” Louis asks slowly, like he’s unsure of Harry’s motives. 

“No, not if it’s alright with you? Like. She’s just dropping by, no big deal.” Harry tries to ignore the small tingle of excitement and nerves in his chest at the idea of Louis meeting his Mum.

“But she doesn’t know about us right?” Louis says and he’s clearly trying to figure out what Harry wants, locking his eyes on Harry’s.

“No,” Harry answers truthfully and hangs his head, blushing. He’s been seeing Louis for over a month, and like, officially _officially_ for two weeks, but he hasn’t told anyone but Niall and Liam. He honestly doesn’t know how to bring it up. Simultaneously eager and terrified. Terrified of what - he doesn’t know, not when it comes to his family. He knows they won’t love him any less or reject him, but he’s scared of _something._ Of things changing. Of them thinking they don’t know him. Of them assuming things about him or about Louis. So he just. Hasn’t told them.

Louis nods decisively, “Okay, alright. It’s cool. I can be… a laddy lad. Real bro pal type o’ thing yeh?” he says and Harry can’t even tell if he’s joking. Louis stands up as if preparing for battle.

Harry smiles and pulls him in by the waist, “You don’t have to pretend to be anything you’re not, just maybe don’t snog me in front of her?”

Louis relaxes, smiles softly and pecks his lips, “Can’t make any promises, love, since you’re so awfully tempting.” Harry laughs at that and leans down to kiss him some more.

20 minutes later the doorbell rings and Harry leaves Louis in the bedroom as he goes to open the door.

“Hi baby!” Anne squeals as she hugs him tightly. “How are you?" 

Harry hugs her back and grins, he always loves seeing his Mum. “Hi Mum, so good to see you, come on in.”

As Harry steps back and Anne takes off her shoes and coat he sees her focus on something behind him. Or rather, someone.

“I didn’t know you had company!” Anne says and smiles towards Louis who makes his way over to them.

“Hi Mrs Twist, I’m Louis, nice to meet you,” he says and smiles, eyes crinkled and bright. He looks so impossibly soft and sweet and Harry’s heart beats rapidly at the sight of him.

“Oh, we like manners!” Anne laughs. “But please call me Anne, nice to meet you Louis,” she says and shakes his hand. 

Louis gasps at her smile, “Oh I see where he gets ‘em from then, those dimples, very charming,” Louis winks, a teasing glint in his eyes as he looks over to Harry.

Anne laughs again, “Where did you find this one? I like him already!” she says as she moves into the kitchen and puts the kettle on. “Is it alright if I make myself a cuppa sweetheart? Need something in my stomach before the ride back.”

Harry pokes his tongue out at Louis cheekily before joining his Mum in the kitchen, Louis on his heels. “‘Course, you heading back already?”

“Yeah, just had some errands in the city,” she explains and turns to Louis. “So how do you know each other? I don’t think Harry’s ever mentioned a Louis before?”

“I’m new,” Louis chuckles, “But I’m friends with Niall.”

“Oh then you can definitely stay, Niall’s a sweetheart.”

Louis beams but doesn’t say anything, lowering his head as if to hide his reaction. A pang of endearment explodes in Harry’s chest. _Yes you can stay. Yes please always stay._

Anne sips her tea and they talk about Anne’s errands and what the boys’ plans for the day are. Harry awkwardly making his way through an excuse of “watching a movie and hanging out like” because he doesn’t think his _real_ plans are anything his Mum would like hearing about. Louis on the other hand seems to have no issues whatsoever talking to Anne. He jokes with her and tells her about his job and his flat. Anne seems curious about Harry’s “new friend” and Harry is _so so so_ happy to see them get along. But it’s also nerve wracking, something that becomes even more evident when Louis says -

“Why don’t you stay for dinner then? We’re making stir fry.”

Anne smiles delightedly, “Oh I don’t mean to intrude on your lazy day, loves,” but she looks over at Harry as if in question.

Harry stares bewilderedly at Louis for a second, wondering if he’s lost his mind, but gets himself together quickly enough. “No, of course you should stay Mum, like you said, need to get something in your stomach before the ride back.” 

Louis gives him a small encouraging smile, which settle Harry’s nerves. Louis doesn’t mind hanging out with his Mum, there’s nothing strange about this. It’s good even, his Mum and Louis getting to know each other without any pretence. Harry gives Louis some vegetables to chop and orders his Mum to sit down at the table and relax as they prepare the food.

Harry knew Louis liked talking, but he’s never seen him this _chatty._ He’s asking questions about Anne and Robin, about the house and their new dog and it hits Harry that he’s _trying to make a good impression._ He’s doing his absolute best to appear polite and sweet. If it was anyone else he might come off as a bit too eager, but Louis easily balances out the questions with light banter and his natural mischievous charm. Harry cheeks are positively blooming with heat at the sight of them, too bloody pleased for it to be proper.

“I’m not much of a cook to be honest, but having six younger siblings sort of forces you to pick up a few things at least,” Louis explains to Anne as he chops up the peppers. 

“Six?!” Anne exclaims, “Oh dear, I had my hands full with two.”

Louis laughs, “Yeh, it’s a lot but we were always a good team, me and Mum.”

Anne smiles fondly at him, “It’s a good thing your Mum’s got you then. How much older than your siblings are you?”

“I’m 25 and Lottie’s the next one in line, she’s 19 and the youngest twins turn 4 in February.”

“Oh, 4 is such a lovely age! I imagine your Mum’s quite busy then.”

“Yeah, they’re a handful but the cutest kids ever,” Louis says and hands over the chopping board to Harry. “There you go.”

“Thanks babe, could you get me the soy sauce?” Harry answers as he stirs the vegetables into the pan.

Louis freezes next to him and 3.3 seconds later Harry realises his mistake. He swallows nervously and very slowly turns his head to look over at his Mum, hoping she didn’t catch his words or that he’ll be able to play it off as a joke. When he meets his Mum’s eyes he can tell that’s not how this is going to play out. Maybe it’s the way Louis is still frozen next to him, or the way Harry’s cheeks burn. Maybe it’s because Anne has never heard Harry call anyone by a pet name before. Maybe it’s all of it, but his Mum is looking between them with squinting eyes, her eyebrows furrowed.

“What’s… going on here?” she asks carefully. When neither of them answer she lets out a small awkward laugh. “Harry?”

“Mum…” Harry starts and he doesn’t dare to look her in the eyes. “Erhm.”

Then he feels Louis fingers circle around his wrist, giving it a reassuring squeeze and he looses himself in the comfort of Louis’ eyes for a moment. He takes a deep breath and looks over at his Mum. “Me and Louis are dating.”

And then there’s silence. Louis is looking at Harry and Harry is staring at his Mum whose mouth hangs open for a moment before she gathers herself. “Dating?” she asks, yet again careful with her words, as if she’s afraid of making a mistake.

Harry nods, a loud buzzing noise in his ears and if it wasn’t for Louis’ fingers tangling with his own he thinks he might’ve actually passed out. “Yeah.”

It just hangs there in the air around them. Like time decided to take a momentary break and leave them to their predicament without a thought. Anne seems at a loss at what to say but Harry can’t tear his eyes away from her, wanting to catch every single movement over her face.

“How long… when did…” Anne says eventually and then shakes her head to start over. “Louis, would you mind giving me a moment with my son, please?”

 _No no no no, don’t leave me here,_ Harry’s mind panics but he nods when Louis asks him if it’s okay with just a look.

“Yeah, of course,” Louis says and leaves the kitchen. Harry hears the bedroom door close and then he’s alone with his Mum.

“Would you come sit down, love?” Anne asks, her voice gentle.

Harry pulls the pan from the stove and starts fidgeting with his fingers on the table as soon as he’s sat down across from her.

“So… How long have you been seeing him?”

Harry bites his bottom lip and tries to ignore the whirlwind of emotions fighting to take over inside him. _It’s going to be fine._ “A few weeks… we met the same weekend as Fiona's birthday,” he explains as he recalls the birthday dinner his family had attended the evening before he met Louis.

“Okay…” Anne nods, obviously trying to process the information. “Just…” and then the silence stretches on until Harry feels pin pricks move up his neck and over his cheeks and his mouth goes dry. Eons pass before Anne clasps a hand over her mouth, her eyes welling up. “But why haven’t you said anything?” she whispers wetly. “I mean I… I didn’t even know you liked boys. Honey, I’m sorry, I just… I’m a bit surprised.”

Harry wants to cry. He wants to curl up in his Mum’s arms and be told that everything will be alright because right now everything seems a little bit too much. “Well I… I didn’t know either before I met him. This is all new to me as well.”

Anne takes a deep breath as if to calm herself, the tears still pooling in her eyes. “Okay, so you… do you… is it both boys and girls then?”

Harry shrugs a bit, “I’m not sure... it’s just… it’s a bit confusing but I know I… I know I’m in love with him. Like. So much Mum,” and the tears burn in his eyes.

That’s when Anne loses her last bit of composure and the tears start falling down her face. She quickly makes her way around the table and pulls him to her chest. “Oh my sweet baby, I’m so happy for you. Do you hear me? _So_ happy.” She kisses the top of his head and he laughs in relief. Then she dries away his tears with her thumbs, “I love you so much Harry. You’re my baby, my sweet wonderful boy, and I’m _so_ proud of you. I’m just a bit surprised, that’s all. I’m sorry for all this,” she says and gestures to her own face.

Harry smiles through relieved tears, ignoring the awkwardness of the situation. “It’s alright, I didn’t exactly mean for you to find out like this.”

She gives him a kiss on the cheek before sitting back down across from him at the table. “I’m glad I did though, and I’m glad I got to meet Louis, he seems wonderful, sweetheart.”

Harry’s smile turns from relieved to a full blown grin even if his bottom lip is still slightly wobbly. “He is. He’s like… the best person I’ve ever met.”

Anne laughs fondly, “Well then he sounds like a good person to have around, yeah?" 

Harry nods, “Very.”

Silence settles between them for a few moments, like they’re letting it all sink in. _She knows. She knows. She knows I’m…_

“Maybe you should go get him by the way, poor boy must be a nervous wreck by now,” Anne says. “I’ll finish the cooking.”

Harry nods and chuckles. “Yeah, I’ll do that.”

He gets up to go to the bedroom when Anne holds him back by the elbow, “Harry, just know I love you and you can always talk to me, okay? I mean it.”

Harry’s throat clogs up, overwhelmed by his mother’s thoughtfulness and embarrassed for not having told her earlier. “Thanks Mum.“

Louis is sitting in the middle of the bed and looks up at him immediately when he enters the bedroom.

“Hi,” Harry says and sits down next to him on the bed.

Louis looks worried, “Hi there, everything alright?”

Harry nods and with a soft smile he leans over and kisses Louis on the lips. He closes his eyes and relishes in the feeling. Of how good it feels. How _right_ it is. He doesn’t understand it - how a simple press of lips can feel so different when it’s Louis, when it’s a boy, to how it has ever felt before. How when Louis’ tongue darts out to lick along his bottom lip carefully and Harry parts his lips slightly to invite him closer - it’s more intimate, more exhilarating and more like home, all at the same time. Because when Louis kisses him it’s not just the press of lips or the slide of their tongues, but the fluttering in his stomach, the thrum of heat under his skin, the fuzziness in his brain and the accelerating beat of his heart. But maybe he doesn’t have to understand. Maybe there’s no need to find an answer as to why. Maybe it just _is_. And maybe that’s an explanation all on it’s own.

When they part Louis’ eyes shine bright and a warm smile is settling over his lips. “So it went okay yeah?”

Harry kisses his cheek and then presses his smile into Louis’ temple, nose nuzzling into his hair. “Yeah, very well. Told me to bring you back out though.”

“Good ‘cause I’m _famished_ ,” Louis grins and gives him another few kisses in quick succession.

 

\---

 

As soon as Anne is out the door Harry pulls Louis into the bedroom. Louis chuckles and lets himself get dragged and then pushed onto the bed.

“Feisty, Curly,” Louis smirks and Harry quickly takes off his own shirt before crawling up the bed and practically blankets Louis with his body. He pushes his face into the crook of Louis’ neck and breathes him in, lets his lips drag slowly along Louis’ neck.

“You’re so much. I want you so much. All the time,” Harry says and when he looks into Louis’ eyes, he hopes that Louis understands.

Understands that it isn’t only the constant, frantic need to touch, to feel and to pleasure, but wanting him so desperately in every way. Wanting his laughter and his crinkly eyed grins, his nervousness and his anger, his kindness, his unabashed loudness, wanting every self doubt and every question to have ever crossed his mind. Wanting him. Completely.

Louis takes a shaky breath, his hands caressing down the broad expanse of Harry back. “Want you too, pretty. So much,” he says quietly.

They stay like that for a while. Hands moving slowly over each other’s bodies, teeth gently nibbling skin, breaths growing heavy. Feeling each other. Being with each other. Together.

What changes their pace is Harry’s thigh sliding in between Louis’, creating delicious friction against their hardening cocks. Their hands suddenly grow impatient, their hips moving together with an added purpose other than just being close. Harry moves his hands underneath Louis and grabs onto his bum, palming over his perfectly rounded arse cheeks. Louis catches his mouth in a kiss that is deep and dirty from the get go. 

When Louis pulls away from him, his pupils are blown and lips bruised from kissing, “What do you want, babe? I’ll give you anything,” he says and pushes his hips up against Harry as if to show him exactly what he has to offer. 

Harry groans and hides his face against Louis’ chest, pressing his nose against the soft fabric of his t-shirt, the heady smell of Louis making him dizzy. His cheeks burn and his mouth waters because he knows. Knows what he wants but he’s not sure how to ask for it. Knows because he’s been thinking about it non stop since a few nights ago, when he had his mouth on Louis’ cock and his fingers curling deep inside of him, and he’d been so _close_. The heat and the musky scent of Louis overwhelming. He squeezes Louis’ arse and moans at the feeling, how it so perfectly fits into his hands. “I want,” he nearly whimpers and rubs his now fully hard cock against Louis’ thigh as he makes his way up towards Louis’ ear. His lips brush against the shell of it as he continues, “I want to taste you.” Just saying the words makes his cock twitch in his jeans and he keeps his hips moving in slow circles against Louis.

Louis grabs at the softness at Harry’s waist and drives his groin up towards Harry’s. “Yeah? You… you want my cock?” he says and he’s so fucking sexy when he’s like this - unashamed and writhing underneath Harry.

Harry shakes his head and pulls Louis’ t-shirt up to kiss over his gorgeous belly, not daring to meet Louis’ eyes. “Your arse,” is all he says and lets Louis draw his own conclusions.

“Oh _god,_ ” Louis groans. “You… you want…”

“Yeah you… fuck, you smell so good, want to…” Harry nuzzles into his stomach.

“ _Bloody hell,_ you’re ridiculous,” Louis moans and Harry takes absolutely no offence when Louis sounds like that.

Louis draws him in for a kiss, pushing his whole body against Harry, thighs bracketing his hips, groin pushing harshly against him, stomachs and chests pressed together. Louis feels taut like a bowstring, ready to snap, body trembling with the exertion. And Harry wants to get him there more than anything. Wants to drive him to the edge until he’s bursting with it. “Turn over baby,” Harry murmurs in Louis’ ear and he feels goose bumps erupt over Louis’ arms. 

It’s been over a month since Harry first got to feel Louis. Over a month since he first got lost in the touch, in the small gasps that left the lips of a boy and changed his life forever. It’s been over a month and they’ve come together, moulding and folding together, so many times Harry has already started to lose count. Still. When Louis turns over on the bed and puts a pillow beneath his hips, his glorious arse on display, the fabric of his joggers hugging the curves tightly and making Harry’s mouth water - it still feels surreal. Like the most wildly erotic dream and it turns Harry on so beyond belief. And yet, it is so real. His mind fuzzy, his body thrumming with arousal, the small movement of Louis hips rolling against the pillow, waiting, the way Harry’s hands shake as he pulls the waistband of Louis’ joggers and his pants down and off in one go. “Fuck,” he moans at the sight before him and Louis spreads his legs further apart.

“Touch me,” Louis says, hands clenching in the sheets. And Harry does. His hands land on the backside of Louis’ thighs, feeling the strong muscles clench as he presses his fingers into the flesh. The soft hair covering Louis’ legs like golden curls beneath his fingertips.

“So beautiful, so fucking gorgeous,” Harry breathes and hears the dreamy tone of his own voice. Louis pushes up into his touch and Harry traces the curve where Louis’ bum meets his thighs with his thumbs, mesmerised. Then he moves his hands upwards, covering Louis’ arse cheeks almost completely and pulls them apart. Louis lets out a gasp and Harry’s cock throbs as he sees Louis’ hole clench. _Holy fucking fuck I won’t survive this._

He leans down and mouths over the curve of Louis’ bum until Louis is whining under him, “ _Harry.”_

Then he pulls Louis’ arse cheeks apart again and plants a soft kiss over his fluttering hole before he starts giving him small licks with his tongue. And then it’s like the rest of the world falls away and all that he feels is the _heat_ and the salty, earthy taste of Louis. Precome blurts out of his own cock, making his pants uncomfortably wet, and he pushes down against the mattress to find some sort of relief. Louis moans loudly when he flattens his tongue and more insistently presses against him.

Harry is struck by how intimate it feels. Even if everything feels intimate with Louis, this is somehow even more so. Louis so vulnerable and trusting, the skin under Harry’s tongue thin and hotter than anything. He tries to keep up as Louis starts thrusting against the pillow, pins him down with his hands holding him open. 

“Holy fucking shit… fuck babe, so good… so good, don’t stop… never stop,” Louis rambles and Harry probes at his hole with the tip of his tongue, wanting to give Louis everything.

Harry doesn’t know for how long he keeps going, the air thick around him, his jaw hurts and he wonders if it’s possible for his tongue to cramp up, but every time he thinks of pulling away he still wants more. Wants to draw another litany of moans from Louis’ lips, wants to taste him for just a moment longer. So it isn’t until Louis’ thighs starts shaking and Louis whines, “Stop, oh god, wait stop,” and then he’s scrambling away from Harry’s mouth.

Harry breathes heavily and lets him move, his chin and cheeks wet with spit and most probably rubbed red. He drags the back of his hand over his mouth and when Louis falls back against the pillows Harry lets himself get drawn into a kiss again. And _fuck_ it should be filthy, the way Louis can probably taste himself on Harry’s tongue but it’s so fucking hot Harry groans with it.

Louis’ hands fumble with the button and zipper of Harry’s jeans as he leans up to his ear, “So fucking good babe… so hot… your mouth is unbelievable,” and Harry kisses him again.

When Louis’ small hand curl around his cock Harry hurries to push his trousers and pants off, naked on top of the other boy.

“Oh god, you feel good,” Louis moans and thumbs over the head of Harry’s cock. “You’re so fucking _wet.”_

Harry’s cheeks burn at that, both embarrassed and turned on. “It’s you…fuck,” his hips stutter into Louis’ grasp, “You drive me mad.” He pushes Louis’ t-shirt up over his chest to bunch at his armpits and swirls his tongue over a hardened nipple.

And then they clasp at each other and kiss feverously, Harry’s hands yet again finding Louis’ bum and squeezing, a long finger slipping between his arse cheeks and rubs at his wet entrance. Louis plants his other hand over his own cock, pressing it closely against his stomach as he starts thrusting up into the tight space.

Harry tries to take it all in. The impossibility of it all. Of this gorgeous boy underneath him, who looks like the embodiment of sex and lust and love. Fringe plastered to his forehead, head thrown back against the pillow as he pumps his hips up and drags his hand over Harry’s hard cock in long hard pulls. The sounds never cease to leave his mouth, thin pink lips wrapping around guttural moans and high gasps, words occasionally forming incoherent sentences of encouragement and pleas. When Harry pushes a finger inside Louis’ tight heat, Louis’ body goes taught and suddenly he’s silent, his mouth hanging open around a inaudible shout as he shoots long, thick ribbons of come over his stomach. The hand around Harry’s cock clasp down harshly and Harry nearly winces at the pain but a second later the pain melts into pleasure as he pushes his cock into the wet mess on Louis’ stomach. Louis’ body goes slack and he starts trembling, his gaze unfocused as he looks up at Harry and he looks so debauched, Harry pushes against his stomach one last time and comes at the sight of him, his cock bobbing obscenely with every spurt of come.

Harry falls down beside Louis on the bed and they both catch their breaths, Louis running his fingers through his fringe and looking down on his chest and stomach. “Fuck that’s a lot of spunk,” and he looks at Harry almost as if he’s impressed with what they’ve achieved. Harry feels that desperate bubbling feeling erupt in his chest and he’s powerless against the deep laugh he lets out.

“Sorry, I’ll go catch you a towel,” he says and smiles tiredly at Louis.

“Give me a kiss first,” Louis requests and his lips feels soft and pliant against his when Harry presses closer.

 

\---

 

Once they’ve cleaned up they lie sprawled out on the bed, Harry’s head leaned back on Louis’ stomach as Louis drags his fingers through Harry’s hair, untangling the knots.

“Are you clean?” Louis asks casually and Harry has to think for a few seconds before he understands what Louis is actually asking.

“Erhm… yeah? I think so?” he says and it sounds childish to his own ears.

“Think so?” Louis raises an amused eyebrow at him.

“Yeah well I’ve never… I never got tested, but I’ve never had sex without a condom so...” he shrugs.

“You never got tested?” Louis asks and his amused eyebrow lift transforms into a surprised one.

Harry shakes his head and tangles his hand with Louis’ free one. “No, never really saw the point? I mean I know it’s stupid but yeah.”

“Huh… well. Would you?” Louis asks and rubs a thumb over the back of Harry’s hand.

Harry shrugs again, “I guess…” and yet again it takes a few moments before his mind catches up with him. “Why do you ask?”

“Why I’m asking if my boyfriend is clean?” Louis says dryly and fuck it if Harry’s mind doesn’t short circuit at that because _boyfriend. Boyfriends. Mine._ Harry blushes furiously and Louis bloody smirks at him.

“No… I mean… sure, I’ll… I’ll get tested,” Harry stumbles out.

“Good,” Louis says and gives him a small smile. Harry’s mind starts buzzing at that but he tries to ignore it.

“What about you?” he asks even though he’s got a feeling he already knows.

“Gotten tested regularly since I was 18, was clean last time and hasn’t slept with anyone else since,” he says and Harry can feel his own pulse thrum in his throat at that. It sounds so intimate even though Harry knows that doesn’t make any sense.

“Good,” Harry murmurs and gives Louis’ knuckles a row of small kisses. “So… I’ll get tested,” he says and looks up at Louis.

“You do that, love, to make sure,” and there’s a glint of something in his eyes that makes the butterflies in Harry’s stomach ecstatic.

After a few minutes of silence Harry turns over and props his chin on Louis chest, peering up at him through his lashes. Louis immediately smiles at him and pokes a finger in his dimple.

“Hi there pretty,” he coos.

Harry grins, nose scrunching up and cheeks warm with his feelings for his boy. “Hi…so… boyfriends yeah?”

And then it’s like sunshine bursting into the room from every angle as Louis’ eyes crinkle up and he bites his bottom lip against a overly delighted smile. “Yeah, definitely right?” and the contradiction says so much about Louis. About how his confidence is so closely tied in with his insecurities and how that’s one of the endlessly fascinating and beautiful things about him.

Harry closes the distance between them and pushes infinitely closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	8. 3.2. Louis has woken up

Louis has woken up next to Harry every day for the past week and Zayn gave him the strangest look when he told him about it. Zayn and his judgemental looks, however, can go be bitter by themselves for all he cares, because waking up next to Harry is the best thing in the world. And they _have_ talked about it. Two nights ago they decided they should spend the night apart after Harry had gone out with Liam and Perrie. They agreed it was the right, logical thing to do and so naturally Louis couldn’t fall asleep, his stomach an uncomfortable mixture of longing and awfully wild butterflies. When Harry texted him and hinted that maybe sort of (but really not at all) Louis basically lived on the way home from the pub and maybe he could come by anyways, Louis couldn’t stop himself from grinning so hard his cheeks started hurting. They have talked and said things that _sound_ logical, but really _really_ aren’t when all you want to do is crawl inside each other (like. literally.). And so the logical things have continuously been followed by lame excuses that they’re both very fine with making. 

Ever since they had what Louis thinks of as The Talk **™,** he has sort of let go of all pretence that he hasn’t completely lost it and he’s accepted the fact that nothing he does or says from here on out will make any sense to anyone who knew him Before Harry. Which is also apparently now a _thing._ Louis Before Harry and Louis After Harry, because according to Zayn, Stan, Jade _and_ Nick, he has somehow drastically changed. Like being happy and slightly giddy 24/7 wasn’t part of his repertoire before. And the thing is. Louis really couldn’t care less because he gets to make Harry laugh his honking laugh and he gets to see Harry sleepy eyed and soft and he gets to hold Harry after he’s come so hard he’s crying. So. Like. He _really_ doesn’t care.

And maybe that’s why he’s currently considering inviting Harry over for family dinner in Doncaster on Sunday. Like that somehow makes sense. Like introducing Harry to his army of little siblings and his Mum’s nosy questions isn’t a sodding nightmare. But all Louis feels at the prospect is excited nerves and he gets a little hazy whenever he thinks about it. The idea of Harry surrounded by his family makes his cheeks turn pink and his stomach flutter worse than anything. Because he can picture it so clearly and he _wants_. Wants so badly.

He hasn’t brought anyone over to his Mum’s since his ex Joseph and that was only a couple of times. Not to mention it took him nearly a year to bring him with ( _oops_ ), but Harry is different. With Joseph he didn’t really see the point. They were in love and enjoyed each other’s company, but it was never covered in this shimmery pink cloud of _the future and forever and I think I’ll just keep falling in love with you every day for the rest of my life._ Which. Might be the case with Harry even though Louis seriously tries to keep those irrational thoughts to himself. Joseph tagged along to Donny because it made sense that particular weekend, and he got along just fine with the Tomlinson Deakins, it just honestly didn’t feel much different than when Olly came with him that one time. Louis hadn’t been nervous about what his family would think of Joseph. Not that he didn’t think they’d like him, but it’s not like they’d see each other that often anyways. And okay, maybe Louis was a bit of a dick back then… _huh._

With Harry though. With Harry it’s equal parts _look! look what I found! the greatest human being on earth and he_ _’_ _s in love with me! look! isn_ _’_ _t he amazing?!_ and _you better fucking love him because he_ _’_ _s here to stay so deal with it._ And he. He wants them to love Harry, wants his family to fall in love with his little quirks and his train of thought that seems far fetched but is actually quite brilliant if you give him time to explain. Wants Harry to get to know the twins x2 and become friends with Lottie and Fizz and have tea with his Mum. He’s even had a daydream or two about Harry and Dan talking about gardening, which no one else needs to know about. _Ever._

Harry himself is currently reorganising all of Louis’ video games because he got so frustrated when he couldn’t find Little Big Planet (they have moved on from FIFA and Harry _excels_ at making rag dolls throw edible goods). He’s in these tiny little black running shorts that he brought out the other day, saying “I think we’ve come far enough in this relationship, I need to be able to be comfortable!” and Louis is definitely _not_ complaining. He’s also wearing one of Louis’ loose vests and he’s got his hair up in a bun. AKA he’s a soft, fit as fuck, very boyfriend looking thing of a man and Louis might pretend to be checking his facebook feed but he’s really just ogling Harry’s whole… _being_.

“How would you feel about coming to Donny with me on Sunday?” The words are out of his mouth before he has time to stop himself.

Harry stops in his tracks and turns around with what looks to be carefully controlled facial expression. “To… to visit your family you mean?”

Louis nods and smiles amusedly as he tries to read Harry’s frog face, it’s as if he’s not really sure how to make his face seem calm and collected.

But then Harry bites his bottom lip and the corners of his mouth start to quirk up. “You want me to meet your family?” and his cheeks turn a rosy shade of pink and dimple deeply as he says the words.

“Yeah, I think it would be nice,” Louis shrugs, trying to play it cool. Which is a ridiculous notion of course and Harry 100% sees right through it. 

Harry jumps up from the floor and throws all 6 feet of his body over Louis on the sofa, burrowing his head into Louis’ neck, nosing at the spot behind Louis’ ear that he seems so fond of. “I’d love to, baby,” he sort of squeals and Louis can’t help laughing at him.

“Alright, alright calm down Curly, it’s just Sunday dinner,” Louis says, circling his arms around him.

Harry leans up on his elbows and looks at Louis, eyes bright green and his nose scrunched up adorably. _Lovely beautiful dork.  
_

“I’d love to meet your family,” Harry says and after a beat he gasps, “ _The_ _babies!_ I want to meet the babies!”

Louis laughs at him again, “You know they’re not technically babies anymore right? They walk and talk and everything.”

Harry just shakes his head and frowns, “No, they’re babies, everyone’s a baby until they’re in school at least.”

“That is definitely _not_ the definition of a baby but yeah sure, if it makes you happy, you can meet the ‘babies,’” Louis grins and pulls at a loose tendril that’s fallen from Harry’s bun.

Harry raises a fist in victory and lets out a soft, “Yey!” and Louis is so impossibly fucking in love with him.

 

\---

 

They take the train to Doncaster and Harry fidgets with Louis’ hand the whole ride. Nervous but excited he shines like a bloody Christmas tree as he asks questions about each member of Louis’ family.

Lottie is waiting in her car at the train station car park when they arrive but she gets out to great them. Louis gives her a warm hug and breathes in the sweet smell of perfume that surrounds her.

“Hi Lots, lovely to see you,” he says.

She slaps his arm and says, “Yeah, been what? A billion years since?” 

Louis rolls his eyes, “I was here a couple months ago and you could just come visit, you know.” Then he takes a step back and pushes Harry forward with a hand on his lower back. “Lots, this is Harry,” he says and he can _hear_ how fucking infatuated he sounds. Maybe this was a bad idea. Lottie just gives him an amused eyebrow raise.

Harry shakes her hand and smiles a dimpled smile, eyes bright and excited. _Unngh you already got one Tomlinson to fall for you, you charming bastard._ “Hi, it’s so great to meet you, Louis’ told me so much about you.”

“Hi, yeah, well, I’m _very_ interested in hearing _all about_ you so,” she smiles mischievously and you could almost think she’s related to Louis somehow.

Harry just laughs, “Fire away, got nothing to hide!” he says and puts his arms up in mock defence. _Fucking dork._ Lottie snorts but is obviously charmed if her grin is anything to go by. Louis is sort of proud of his boy. Just a bit.

 

\---

 

Turns out Harry Styles _is_ one charming bastard. Sure. The way he’s got Louis wrapped around his obscene sodding fingers should have been a dead give away, but two hours into arriving at the Tomlinson Deakin residence he’s made all six of Louis’ siblings fall in love with him and Jay is watching it all unfold from her spot at the kitchen entrance – surely only seconds away from falling herself. Fizzy has asked Harry all about his job and what he studied at uni. With Lottie and Phoebe he’s discussed the latest Marc Jacobs collection (a discussion that Harry seemed more than capable to carry out, much to Louis’ surprise. Turns out a person can still surprise you after having known them for over a month… _who would_ _’_ _ve thought)._ Daisy is currently showing him her scrapbooks (“It’s not a bloody scrapbook Louis, it’s a _fanzine_!”), Doris is playing with his curls (maybe a tad bit violently) and Ernie seems absolutely thrilled to have snatched a spot on Harry’s lap.

Louis loves seeing Harry surrounded by his family, but he finds it, to his absolute horror, a bit difficult to share Harry’s attention with so many people. Over the past few weeks they’ve spent most of their time together in a bubble of goofy grins, heated kisses and long conversations between the blue and green of their eyes, and the contrast to this situation is suddenly very obvious. Louis even considers texting something along the lines of “sorry for being completely absent for the past few weeks, curls and dimples are horribly distracting” to Zayn and Stan, but then Harry’s arm curls around his waist and pulls him into his side and Louis is drawn right back inside their bubble.

Harry’s eyes are glinting and Louis thinks he even sees a shine there that looks an awful lot like fondness. His dimples are deep and after placing a soft kiss to Louis’ temple he turns back to commenting on Daisy’s _scrapbook_ together with Ernie.

 

\---

 

At dinner Dan has come back from grocery shopping and Jay has clearly decided that now it’s her and Dan’s turn to “get to know” Harry. Harry seems thrilled, if a bit nervous, to talk to them. Louis knows his Mum to be a very warm and loving kind of person, but he’s also aware that her piercing eyes can be a bit… intimidating.

“You graduated last year right?” Jay asks Harry who nods eagerly.

“Mmhmm…” he a hums, swallowing his food and taking a drink before continuing. “Started working right after graduation, was really fortunate about that actually.”

“Where do you work now?” Dan asks curiously, putting up a slightly more relaxed front than Jay.

“Social services, helping people with housing mostly,” Harry answers and Louis feels that warm fuzzy feeling of pride swell in his chest. _My social worker boyfriend._

“That’s got to be tough sometimes, meeting all those people who need help?” Jay asks, a worried frown on her face.

Harry thinks his answer over for a bit before shrugging slightly, “Yeah it is… but I sort of feel like it’s the least I can do…like… it’s difficult to not being able to help everyone, but at the end of the day I get to go home and they _live it_ you know? In comparison it doesn’t really feel like much…”

Louis squeezes Harry’s hand under the table, his affection for the boy a bit overwhelming.

“Yes, no, of course,” Jay agrees. “I understand. I guess it’s a bit like being a nurse yeah? You can’t do everything for the people you meet but you can do your best.”

Harry nods and smiles, dimples popping, and he’s so fucking beautiful Louis almost doesn’t catch what he’s saying. “Yeah, exactly,” and he seems so very pleased to bond with Jay over their jobs.

“So where do _you_ live then?” Lottie asks.

Louis groans and rolls his eyes. “Smooth Lots, very smooth,” but Harry just laughs, seemingly amused by her bluntness.

“Got a small rental pretty close to my job, can ride the bike to work, so that’s great,” Harry explains.

“Rent’s gone up so much in the city just over the last few years,” Dan says.

“Yeah, it was a bit tricky to find some place affordable since it’s just me.”

“Your place is lovely though, quirky but lovely,” Louis says. “Kind of like you,” he winks and elbows Harry playfully. Harry blushes slightly and bites his bottom lip against the grin taking over his face. Louis loses himself in the deep green of Harry’s eyes.

“Not as nice as yours,” Harry says. “Like… you’ve got like a proper grown up flat.”

Louis laughs, “Proper grown up? What is that supposed to mean?”

Harry pokes his thigh with a knuckle. “You know like… you could live there for years, like… even if you wanted to move in with someone you wouldn’t have to move.”

Louis blushes furiously and wishes he could just laugh it off, but something in his stomach is fluttering something awful, so he just gives him a small smile. “You’ve given that some thought, have you?” And as he says it he can see Harry’s cheeks growing an even darker pink to match his own.

“Maybe… just a bit…” Harry says and looks at him sheepishly. _God I_ _’_ _m in love with you._

“Well, that’s a very interesting observation, innit?” Louis grins and Harry grins back, his adorable front teeth making an appearance and Louis wants to kiss him so badly. 

Then Jay clears her throat and Louis realises that their end of the table has gone awfully quiet. When Louis looks at his Mum she’s got her eyebrow raised and an amused smirk on her lips but her eyes seem to not have made up their mind about what they’re witnessing.

“Erhm, _anyways!_ How’s work Lottie?” Louis half shrieks, completely flustered. His family give him strange looks but lets it slide. Harry is grinning so hard his dimples look like craters in his cheeks, his hand warm as it envelops Louis’.

 

\---

 

After dinner Lottie and Fizzy migrate to their rooms as the youngest twins take a nap. Harry and Louis settle in with Phoebe and Daisy in the living room to watch Dark Night Rises for what Louis’ guesses isn’t the first time. Harry puts his arm around him as they snuggle up on the couch and Louis feels so ridiculously sated and happy. A bit into the movie Louis gets up to get make them some tea, only to be cornered by his Mum in the kitchen. 

“Hi love, would you sit down for a bit and have a chat with you Mum?” Jay asks him and suddenly he feels like he’s 16 and she’s caught him and Zayn snogging in the living room while babysitting.

“Sure, I’ll just put the kettle on,” he says hesitantly before he does that and sits down at the table.

“So… Harry seems lovely, sweetheart,” Jay starts and it sounds bloody ominous.

“He is,” Louis says. “The best.” Why is he so bloody nervous? Why is she acting so strange?

“I’m just… I must say I’m a bit surprised,” his Mum says and Louis can hear how she’s trying to choose her words wisely. 

He frowns, “Surprised?” 

“Yeah, or completely taken aback to be honest.” 

Louis frowns harder and feels knots growing in his stomach.

His Mum continues, “I mean… I don’t know what I was expecting when you said you were bringing him here but it wasn’t this.”

Louis is honestly so fucking confused at the moment because his Mum doesn’t sound angry or upset but her words make no sense to him. He shakes his head slightly, “What do you mean? What are you talking about?”

“I just… how long have you known him, sweetheart? A month? I’ve never seen you like this before. You already seem so serious about him I’m just… I’m just a bit worried.”

Louis just stares at her in disbelief for a moment. “Are fucking kidding me?” he then says and he can hear his accent coming out thick with anger. “You’re worried because what? Because I’m happy for once?!”

Jay sighs heavily, “No of course not honey, that’s not… I just want you to be careful with your heart. Like I said, I’ve never once seen you like this, not with Joseph or with Zayn even.”

Louis rolls his eyes at the Zayn comment, like whatever they did as kids has anything to do with _this_. “Maybe it’s because I’ve never felt like this before?” he says incredulously. “I don’t know what you expect me to say?”

“Please love, I’m not trying to upset you, would you just try to see it from my perspective for a second? A couple weeks ago my son, who hasn’t dated anyone in years, calls me to say he’s met someone, and then you invite him over even though it took you _a year_ to invite Joseph, so naturally I expected it to be… I don’t know, in the early stages? I didn’t expect you to seem more involved with him than you did with your boyfriend of two years. You don’t think it makes sense for me to be a bit cautious? It’s got nothing to do with Harry, like I said, he seems like a lovely boy, but don’t you think it’s all going a little fast maybe? You’re already talking about moving in together?”

Louis scoffs, “We’re not bloody talking about moving in together Mum! That was just…” _our disgustingly domestic way of flirting_ “And even if we _were_ I just… like. I _know_ that it’s a bit fast, and I _know_ it’s unlike me but I… I’m so bloody in love with him I don’t know what to do with myself, so I honestly don’t know what to do about it and I’m not sure I _want_ to do anything about it. In fact, I’m so fucking happy being with him and I’m actually really upset that you can’t see that,” he says and feels his throat clog up, tears burning in his eyes. _This was apparently a bad fucking idea._

“Oh baby,” Jay says and walks around the table to pull him into a hug. “ _Of course_ I’m happy you’re happy, that’s not what I meant.”

Louis squirms out of her embrace, “Then what _do you_ mean? Did you think for a second that maybe the reason you’ve never seen me like this before is because I’ve never _felt_ like this before? And maybe it’s bloody terrifying for me too and I really don’t need you to judge me for it.” He wipes at his wet eyes angrily. 

Jay sinks down on the chair next to him and they’re both silent for a few moments before she says, “I’m so sorry, love, I really cocked this up, didn’t I?” and pouts ridiculously.

Louis can’t help but rolling his eyes and scoffing at her again, trying to supress a smile. He can see where he gets it from.

“Yeah, what the fuck Mum?!” he exclaims, nothing if not dramatic, but they’re both smiling by now.

“Ooof, such language! Who on earth taught you such bad manners?!” she grins and caresses his cheek with her knuckles to wipe away a tear.

“Learnt from the best,” he says cheekily and she pulls him into another hug.

“Okay, let me try this again, alright?” Jay pulls away and waits for his permission to continue. He shrugs slightly and now she’s the one rolling her eyes before saying, “You are my baby, my first teeny tiny baby and I love you more than words can say and maybe it’s a bit overwhelming for me to see my teeny tiny baby so arse over tits… but that’s on me so, I’m sorry for what I said. I just- no.” She interrupts herself and shakes her head slightly. “I’m really happy for you and Harry is a doll, I really mean it, okay?” She lets out a heavy sigh. “I guess it’s just a bit scary how much of myself I see in you.”

Louis pouts because he’d just thought the same thing a few moments ago. “What do you mean?”

“Us Tomlinsons don’t let people in that easily yeah? But when we do it’s all or nothing? And I know how scary that can be and I guess I just thought I had another few years before I saw you give your heart away like this.”

Louis gives her a deadpan look. “Mum. I’m 25 not 15, it’s not like I’m running away with the first bloke who’ll have me.” 

She huffs out a laugh, “Oh, I’m very well aware of that sweetheart, you did all that when you hid away at Zayn’s for three days when you _were_ 15.”

He groans, “Oh shut it,” trying to mask up his embarrassment. He always had a flare for drama, even at 15, alright?

That’s when Harry decides to pop his beautiful face inside the kitchen, “You need any help with the tea babe?” he says, and now the slip of the pet name doesn’t seem like a slip anymore. Just. _There._ Like that’s what Louis is supposed to be called. Always.

Louis shakes his head, “No, I’ll be right out, thanks.” 

Harry’s eyes darts between Jay and Louis, clearly having caught on that they’re having some sort of _talk_ , and gives them a smile before retreating to the living room. Louis turns to his Mum, “See! An absolute angel he is!” 

Jay smiles, “Yes yes, I can see that, now go make your boy some tea before he comes to fetch you again.”

 

\---

 

On the train ride home Harry asks about Louis’ and Jay’s conversation in the kitchen, the perceptive little shit. Louis tries to explain but he can tell it makes Harry anxious. 

“She doesn’t like me very much does she?” Harry asks and his voice sounds thick.

“Of course she does! I swear everyone in that house, including Dan, is in love with you by now,” Louis says and pulls Harry into his side with an arm around his shoulders. Harry hunches down to fit his face at the crook of Louis’ neck. He stays silent for a few moments before he starts talking again.

“But she thinks I’m pushing you or something? That I’m a bad influence?” and Louis can hear the pout in his voice as clear as day.

Louis bursts out laughing at that, light and airy. “Love, I don’t think you could be a bad influence even if you tried. You’re like the sweetest person on earth,” he says and smiles down at Harry who purses his lips and glances up at Louis through his eyelashes. He’s so pretty it makes Louis chest constrict.

“Once I made Liam call my Mum and lie to her about me having the flu because I was so hungover I couldn’t get up from the bathroom floor,” Harry says stubbornly and Louis only laughs harder at that.

“Oh my god, Styles, you really are a bit of a bad boy aren’t ya?” he’s cackling and he can tell Harry has a hard time not cracking up as well.

“Told you,” Harry grins, cheeks dimpling before he leans up to press a kiss to Louis’ lips. “You’ve seen nothing yet.”

Louis raises a challenging eyebrow at him, smirking, “Tell me about it, _stud_.”

And that has Harry honking out a laugh so loud the people in the seats in front of them turn around to see what the fuss is about. Making Harry laugh like that makes Louis so inexplicably ridiculously proud he can only beam at the people staring at them before he pulls Harry into his side again. “There there love, no need to have an aneurysm just because your boyfriend is a comical genius.”

Harry giggles into his neck and mumbles “My boyfriend,” before letting out a content sigh.

Louis thinks he might’ve burst into tears of happiness if he wasn’t busy grinning into the top of Harry’s head. _I love you I love you I love you I love you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	9. 3.3. Harry stares at himself

Harry stares at himself in the mirror. Nerves and excitement sizzling like champagne through his veins as he checks out his outfit. Skin tight black jeans and a soft yellow, short sleeved lace shirt, only a few buttons done up as per usual. His hair styled in ringlets over his shoulders, the front pushed back in a voluminous swirl. He looks good. At least he thinks he does. Hopes he does. _Oh god.  
_

Tonight he’s going out clubbing with Louis and his friends and he’s more nervous about this than he was about meeting the whole Tomlinson Deakin family. Because they’re going to a gay club. A gay club with Louis’ queer friends and fuck if he doesn’t want to fit in. Make Louis proud. And it might be a ridiculous thought, his nerves unwarranted, but it’s still there. He doesn’t even know why it being a gay club makes him more nervous than going to any other pub, since the whole… being gay thing feels more and more likely with each day. But he’s never been and there are these niggling thoughts at the back of his head… _what if they see right through me. What if they can tell I’m not one of them. Well. That I didn’t used to be one of them… I mean… I always was… but … STILL._

The doorbell rings and he opens the door to reveal an exceptionally stunning version of Louis behind it. How he manages to look both ruggedly handsome, dainty, mischievous and prettier than anything, all at the same time, is beyond Harry. He’s infinitely grateful for it though.

Louis gives him a very obvious once over, eyebrow raised and smirk in place. “Well, _hello there,”_ he says and breaks out into a grin as he leans up to give Harry a kiss. Harry grins as well, his nerves instantly settling with Louis there.

“Hi, baby,” Harry says and gives Louis another kiss before taking a step back and letting Louis take his shoes and coat off. When Louis turns around to face him, Harry’s mouth goes dry and his mind just. Blanks. Because _Jesus Christ._ A well groomed scruff covers Louis’ cheeks, fringe styled across his forehead. He’s wearing the tightest black jeans imaginable and his upper body is covered in a grey, loose fitting, crew neck t- shirt with the sleeves rolled up. It’s just. The bottom hem of the shirt _barely_ graces the top of Louis’ jeans, like if Louis would push his hip out, or raise his arms just a bit, there would be golden skin for all the world to see and Harry just. _Holy fuck._ “You… you look…” He swallows and licks his lips, eyes darting all over Louis’ body. When his mind seems to come up short he puts his hands at Louis’ waist and when they _so easily_ find warm gorgeous skin, Harry just groans and pulls Louis closer, instantly mouthing along his throat.

Louis chuckles delightedly and leans his head back to give Harry better access. “I take it you like my outfit then?”

Harry nearly whines, “ _Like it?_ Have you bloody _seen yourself?”_ His fingers press into the mouth watering curves of Louis’ hips. “So gorgeous, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep my hands off of you tonight.”

Louis laughs again, “I have a total of zero issues with that, love.”

Instead of sharing a few beers like they had planned, they end up snogging against Harry’s clothing rack until Louis gets a text from Olly saying him and Nick are already at the club. Blushing and giggling they make their way out the door and to the tram, hands intertwined and eyes sparkling only for each other.

Harry’s nerves seemingly evaporated into nothingness.

 

\----

 

The club is at an old jazz club, the DJ is set up on a stage at the back of the club, a large dance floor surrounded by tables and booths filled with people. The whole place is crammed with odd trinkets and photos of people in extravagant outfits and happy smiles. It’s loud, vibrant and cosy all at the same time and Harry feels at ease immediately. No one in the room looks at him strangely or seems to question why he’s there. He walks with an arm around Louis over to the tables where Olly and Nick are sat together with a large group of people. Harry gives them both a hug and sits down next to Nick as Louis makes his way around the table to say hi to a few other people. Harry keeps up conversation with Nick, his eyes following Louis as he chats with someone with gemstone covered eyelashes. He’s absolutely stunning, eyes crinkling, and Harry wonders (not for the first time) if Louis is _actually literally_ glowing or if it’s just his mind playing tricks on him. Louis’ bright laugh carries over the tables and makes Harry’s lips twitch into a smile. The _brilliantly_ cropped t- shirt lifts up and shows the smooth skin of Louis’ lower stomach and waist when he keeps snapping his wrists as he gesticulates. _How are you even possible?_

Apparently he zones out a bit because Nick barks out a laugh that makes Harry snap his attention back to him. “I’m sure he’ll get back to you in a whiff darling, no need to drool like an excited puppy.”

Harry blushes furiously but smiles, “Sorry, I didn’t mean… just, sorry, what did you say about Pig again?”

 

\---

 

Two whiskey sours and three beers in, Harry is laughing along with Olly as they dance to the beat of _Right Round_ in the middle of the dance floor. Harry finds Olly absolutely delightful - sweet, clever and cute in a way that makes you want to squish his cheeks. Which he might have already done once or twice, making Olly laugh loudly each time. (Nick made another comment of “like a sodding puppy litter I swear” at them before they left for the dance floor).

Harry is his absolutely favourite kind of drunk - _very_ happy and talkative, but also clear headed enough to be able to take in the surroundings and thoroughly enjoy it. He gazes at the crowd around him and is filled with so much love, he feels like he’s going to explode with it. They’re a bunch of strangers, but Harry has never felt more at home in a public place. People dance and chat - some kissing and grinding, some in a jumbled mess of friends - belting out the lyrics. He leans over to Olly and shouts over the music “I love it here! _Love it!_ ”

Olly laughs again and shouts back at him, raising his pint in cheers, “Of course you do, sweetheart! Of course you _fucking_ do! And _look_ , someone’s got an admirer!”

Harry turns his head in the direction that Olly is swinging his beer indiscreetly and he is met with a pair of very _purposeful_ eyes. The man looking at him smiles and starts making his way over to them. Harry looks back at Olly slightly panicky but he just laughs again, _bloody menace._ When Harry looks back, the man is already nearby and he’s fucking _huge._ Large broad muscles bulging under a tight fitting t- shirt and Harry just stares ridiculously as the man leans closer, “Hi there handsome… you’re well fit, did you know that?”, his voice deep and Harry’s first instinct is to laugh, because he honestly doesn’t know how to deal with the situation.

He lets out a nervous little thing of a laugh and tries to smile politely, “Erhm, thanks. That’s very nice.”

The man’s smile broadens, “You wanna dance?” he asks and licks his lips as he looks at Harry’s barely covered chest.

And honestly, Harry might have become a bloody prude in the last few seconds because he blushes and laughs again, this time with his hand covering his mouth. “No, thank you. I’m dancing with my friend.”

“Boyfriend?” the man asks and nods towards Olly.

Harry shakes his head, “Friend,” but when the man opens his mouth to say something again, he says, “My boyfriend is over there,” and points in the general direction of where he assumes Louis to be. That seems to fend off the unwanted admirer and Olly is bursting with laughter the second the man is lost in the crowd.

“You are the bloody politest sod in all of Manchester, Harry Styles!” Olly hollers, throws an arm around him and gives him a wet kiss on the cheek. “Now gimme another dance!”

 

\----

 

Another beer and a bathroom visit later Harry spots Louis standing with a group of people over by one of the bars. His stomach flutters at the sight, at how his boy seems to pull at everyone’s attention, like they’re all just planets orbiting the sun. He makes his way over and curls his arms around Louis’ waist from behind, whispering in his ear, “Hi gorgeous."

Louis melts against him and leans his head back to give him a peck. “Hi pretty, you having a good time?” his eyes sparkle and they’re like lightning.

Harry nods, “ _Amazing_ , thanks for taking me.”

“Knew you’d love it, you dance hooligan,” Louis teases and turns around in his arms, the rest of the crowd seemingly forgotten. Grabbing Louis’ attention like this is a bit life altering. “When will you take me for a spin then?” Louis asks, playing coy and looking up at him through long eyelashes. It is absolutely working on Harry as it makes his heart flutter and his dimples deepen in his cheeks.

“Whenever you like, been wanting to all night,” he says honestly and Louis grins at him happily as they make their way over to the dance floor. Harry lets the bursts of joy that fill his chest take over his body as Louis starts moving to the music. _I love you._ He wonders if it’s possible to combust with feelings. _I love you._

Just like on the night they first met, Louis moves with ease to the music, drawing hungry looks from people around them. His hips sway deliciously, his shirt riding up over his stomach as he moves his arms and when he turns around to give Harry a full view of his arse Harry can feel his cock thickening in his pants. _Ungh._

Louis smirks at him over his shoulder like he knows _exactly_ how good he looks from this angle and Harry plasters himself to Louis’ backside, hands on his hips as they sway together. His eyes wander around the club, as he takes in the feeling of Louis against him, when he sees a poster with a large red ribbon on it and the letters WAD DECEMBER 1 in thick black letters. It makes him gasp out excitedly as he remembers his news - he squeezes Louis by the waist to garner his attention and says, “I got my results back! I’m clean!”

Louis turns around and looks at him confusedly for a moment before he understands, “Oh! That’s great, love, I’m happy you went. Proud of you.” He smiles softly and drags Harry down for a kiss by the lapels of his shirt.

“Yeah I was… I was thinking,” Harry starts and blushes slightly, eyes fixed on where their chests meet between them. “Maybe we could… I’ve been thinking…”

“You need to speak up, love, I can’t bloody hear ya!” Louis shouts but Harry can tell he’s mostly teasing.

Harry swallows and gathers his courage, looking up to meet Louis’ eyes, leans in close to Louis’ ear and says loudly enough for Louis to hear him over the music, “I’ve been thinking I want you to… I want you inside me.” His heart beats wildly in his chest at the words, in anticipation of what Louis might say. Because sometimes dating a boy for nearly two months feels like nothing. Is nothing. As sure as he is on Louis and his overwhelming feelings for him, there are still _so many things_ that they haven’t talked about and sometimes Harry feels so completely clueless.

Louis leans up and gives him a soft but lingering kiss and says against his lips, “That sounds like a really good plan, babe,” and when he pulls back and looks at Harry with eyes full of want and love, Harry can’t do anything but agree.

 

\---

 

They stay another hour or so, exchanging heated glances as they talk to their friends and dance some more. Harry talks to Jade and Jesy who’ve joined them, and they talk about everyone’s plans for Christmas since it’s only a month away on the day. Harry hasn’t thought about his plans for Christmas. Two months ago he would have assumed he’d be going back home to Cheshire and celebrate with his family, but now. Now there’s Louis and what about his birthday? What about the fact that Harry is _so_ not ready to be separated from Louis for days and _days._ Harry finds it a bit mind boggling that life can change so quickly. In just a few weeks his life has become something completely different. Different people, different places, a different understanding of who he is. It’s difficult to grasp how everything can change so quickly and simultaneously feel like it’s been in the making for a very long time. And the gods know he loves his friends but there’s always been something that sets him apart from them. Or maybe it’s a been part of himself that’s been separated from everything. He’s never _quite_ understood when they’ve talked about relationships, sex or love. Always tried to be supportive but not being able to relate and now. Now he knows. He knows so much more about himself than he ever has before and at the same time he’s more lost than ever. When he looks over to the boy with the golden skin and electric blue eyes he thinks that he doesn’t mind being lost as long as he’s got that boy for company. Doesn’t mind _at all_.

Eventually Louis drags him away from their friends and they bundle up in their coats and thick scarves as they make their way over to the main street to catch a taxi.

“Did you have a good night?” Louis asks and takes Harry’s hand, spreading warmth through Harry’s fingers to settle in his stomach.

Harry nods, “Yeah, it was great, I can’t believe I’ve never been before! It’s so… just lovely, people are lovely,” he concludes.

Louis' eyes crinkle as he smiles at him, “I’m glad you had a good time, love.”

They walk in silence for a few moments before Harry suddenly remembers his encounter at the club. “There was a man trying to pull me in there!” he says excitedly.

Louis looks at him like he doesn’t know whether to laugh or frown, “Was there now?”

Harry nods, “Yeah, it was…he was bloody _huge_ and he asked me to dance.”

“ _Huge_ , huh?” Louis raises an eyebrow sharply - laughter in his eyes.

“Oh you know what I mean, like… burly, and Olly just kept laughing at me,” Harry tries to pout but it’s hard when Louis is looking at him like that.

“Because someone tried to pull you?”

“He thought I was too polite when I turned the guy down,” Harry shrugs and Louis laughs loudly at that.

“Oh you would be, wouldn’t you?” Louis says and brings their intertwined hands up to his mouth to kiss Harry’s knuckles.

“Well, if he hadn’t left me alone I would’ve told him I like my men small and curvy rather than big and burly,” he smiles cheekily at Louis.

“Small and curvy, ey? Sorry to disappoint then,” Louis pouts and Harry straightens his face and nods gravely at him.

“Yeah, it’s… I mean, you’re okay I guess, but I also like ‘em witty and loud and I guess you’re not really that either, are you?” Harry sighs heavily. “Like ‘em sweet and kind and prettier than anything I’ve ever seen… it’s just… I guess I’ll just have to settle with you.”

“Oi!” Louis says at that and frowns like a grumpy kitten before he wraps his arms around Harry’s neck and jumps up, wrapping his legs around Harry’s hips. Harry staggers a bit before securing him with his hands under Louis’ thighs. Louis burrows his face into Harry’s neck and whispers, “You think I’m sweet and kind and prettier than anything you’ve ever seen?”

Harry leans down to Louis’ ear to answer, “I think you’re everything I’ve ever wanted.”

 

\---

 

The taxi ride home to Louis’ is quiet. Louis leaning his head on Harry’s shoulder as he plays with the rings on Harry’s fingers. It’s quiet and serene, but it’s not because they’re tired. The street lights painting shadows over their faces as Harry’s heart hammers in his chest, a current of electricity buzzing just under his skin. Every delicate touch of Louis’ fingers against his feels like an intimate touch. Like a promise, and heat travels through his body to locate in the pit of his stomach, his cock already half hard from just the brief touches, from the warm press of Louis’ body next to his.

 

\---

 

They are kissing lazily on Louis’ bed, slow but heated in their movements. Louis feels like pure bliss under his hands, his skin smooth and warm, small gasps escaping pink lips, a thin sheen of sweat making their bodies slide together. The contrast between the softness of Louis’ lips or the gorgeous thickness of his thighs and the sharp cut of their hipbones grinding together, their hard cocks skidding across their stomachs, is spell bounding. Harry gets lost in it, their breaths making the air around them heavy and dizzying. They whisper words into each other’s skin, press their tongues over marks bitten red with sharp teeth.

“I’m going to make you feel so good, love, give you anything you want,” Louis murmurs as he’s nosing his way up Harry’s chest, stopping to swirl his tongue over one of Harry’s hardened nipples.

Harry moans out shakily, wanting so badly to take whatever Louis is willing to give him. “Yes… please, _fuck_ … I want you.”

Louis straddles him and leans down to kiss him deeply, raking his fingers through the sweat soaked curls at Harry’s temples. He grinds his cock down against Harry’s, friction that borders on painful but makes them both moan into the other’s mouth, tongues sliding wetly. “Do you want my fingers, babe?” Louis asks and looks at him with pupils blown and his mouth hanging slightly open.

 _Oh god. I’m not going to last._ Harry feels like his whole body is vibrating, his breaths coming out in quick bursts, heat pulsing through him, his cock leaking on his stomach. He nods, “Yeah… yeah… I’m… I’m…“

“Shh… it’s alright love, take it easy yeah? You look so good, feel so good, _so so good,_ ” Louis says and blinks slowly at him, the thin skin of his eyelids shiny in the warm light from the bedside lamp. Harry wants to kiss them, plant soft kisses to each and every eyelash.

He takes a deep breath and nods again, “I want you.”

Louis kisses him on the mouth again before dragging his lips over Harry’s cheekbone to his ear, nibbling at the earlobe. Harry hears and feels Louis’ heavy breaths in his ear, can tell he’s just as turned on as him, and it makes him feel safer, like this is something they _share_. Louis leans over and grabs the lube sitting on the bedside table and gives Harry another soft kiss as he pushes his knees between Harry’s thighs to make room for himself. And then his small hands are travelling over Harry’s chest, fingers pressing into his sides and thumbs caressing his nipples. Harry feels like he could melt under those hands as they’re both grounding him and riling him up all at the same time. He closes his eyes for a moment to calm himself down, trying to relax, recalling what it’s like to have Louis under him like this, body taut and waiting.

Then his cock is enveloped by the heated wetness of Louis’ mouth and he groans, his cock immediately pumping out drops of precome on Louis’ tongue. Louis moans around him, hands caressing up Harry’s thighs as he swirls his tongue over the slit to taste him. Just when Harry is about to tell him to stop, already too close to the edge, Louis lets his cock fall back against the laurel tattoos on his stomach.

”You look so good like this, you have no idea,” Louis says, his voice coming out raspy, his lips red and wet. It’s like he invented the concept of sex. He sure as hell did in Harry’s mind.

“Lou...” Harry breathes out, trying to cope with being incredibly turned on and imperceptibly nervous at the same time. Louis just nods and plants small kisses up the trail of hair that goes from Harry’s crotch to his bellybutton, his hands smoothing up and down Harry’s thighs.

“So pretty, so fucking fit,” Louis mumbles against his skin, almost to himself. Then he sits up on his haunches and proceeds to pour lube on two of his fingers. “Bend your knees, babe,” he says and nudges Harry’s leg with his knee.

Harry complies, his heart thundering in his chest. “Kiss me,” he says and he sounds a bit desperate.

Louis leans over him and starts kissing, nibbling and licking his way up Harry’s neck until he finally puts his lips on Harry’s. They kiss slowly but deeply, Louis tongue teasing and maddening. Then Louis reaches down to trail two wet fingers between Harry’s arse cheeks and Harry gasp out and tenses because. _Okay. Wow. This is happening_. His cock blurts out another dribble of precome onto his stomach. “Feel good?” Louis asks, pulling back a bit so he can watch Harry’s reaction.

Harry nods, “Yeah, it’s… yeah.”

Louis smiles and puts his fingers over Harry’s rim, rubbing circles to loosen the muscle and spread the lube. “You feel good, so hot,” he says and starts sucking a mark just below Harry’s jawbone as one of his fingers push more insistently against Harry’s rim and the tip of his finger breaches his hole.

Harry tenses up again, the feeling both arousing and strangely foreign. “Oh god,” he says and closes his eyes, trying to force his body to relax. Louis starts pushing his finger in and _oh god oh god oh god oh god this is fucking happening oh god_. Louis has got his finger up his bum and holy fucking fuck. It feels invasive and intimate, a bit impossible but so bloody intense all at once. Louis is whispering words of praise and reassurance against his skin but Harry can’t possibly focus on anything but the feeling of Louis’ finger twisting in and out of him slowly. Goosebumps spread over his skin and Harry feels his nipples harden. Louis groans at the sight and puts his mouth over a nipple, sending sparks of heat down to Harry’s cock. Harry throws his head back against the pillow, “Oh god, oh god, fuuuuck."

Louis keeps going, licking and nibbling at Harry’s sensitive nipples as he changes the motion of his finger. He starts rubbing upwards, the pad of his finger pressing against the tight heat of Harry. And Harry knows what he’s doing, knows he’ll find his spot any second but he’s still not ready when it happens. As Louis licks over Harry’s hard nipple, he pushes the pad of his finger against Harry’s prostate, going over it in small circles.

“Oh my god,” Harry groans out, his cock jumping against his stomach as the new sensation of pressure inside him makes him vibrate with pleasure.

As if in sympathy, Louis moans as well, “Does is feel good? You feel so good, love, so good, so fucking tight, fuck.”

Harry just nods as he presses his heels into the mattress, a desperate need for this to never fucking end filling his whole body as Louis continues to rub his finger inside him. And then it get even worse because Louis starts taking turns twisting his finger and rubbing against his spot and the wet tight slide of it draws a loud deep moan out of Harry. His fingers shaking against the sheets, “Oh god don’t stop, that’s fuck, that’s, oh god…”

Louis hovers over him and breathes in his ear, “You want another one, love?”

Harry might be a bit fucking silly with arousal right now because it takes him a moment to respond, “I’m… I don’t… fuck I don’t know…” He takes a deep breath and Louis slows down the motion of his finger as if to give him a chance to collect himself. “How the fuck do you fit any more in there?” he asks incredulously and Louis’ eyes crinkle as a grin spreads over his face.

“Takes a bit of practice, but if I can fit that big cock of yours in me, I’m sure you can take another finger,” Louis says and pecks his lips. And god. Yes. Harry really enjoys the image of his cock inside Louis and fuck. He nods again, nowhere near as coherent as Louis seems.

Louis pulls out of him and pours more lube onto his fingers. He sits back a bit and reaches down, focusing on where two of his fingers rub against Harry’s wet hole. “Fuck, you look hot, so fucking hot like this, so perfect,” he says and sounds mesmerised.

When the tips of his fingers push inside, Harry tenses up again because, believe it or not, the sensation of having two fingers inside your arse is not the same as having one. It feels very much fucking impossible as Louis pushes in and Harry nearly scrambles away from the sensation.

“Hey, calm down love,” Louis says and stops, his other hand soothingly caressing his hip. “It’s alright,” he says and leans down to plant soft kisses against the inside of Harry’s thigh, helping him relax slightly.

As Harry gets used to the stretch, Louis starts twisting his fingers again, but without pushing in any further. His runs his tongue up Harry’s inner thigh to the base of his cock and nuzzles into the dark hair there before circling his free hand around Harry’s cock and putting him in his mouth. The wet heat that envelops him is so fucking delicious and the way Louis’ tongue press against the underside of his cock so fucking good.

“Oh god yes, fuck,” he says and drags his fingers through Louis soft, sweat damp hair.

Louis starts sucking him thoroughly, his cheeks hollowing, spit and precome dribbling out of the corners of his mouth as he takes him down. Harry Styles is from here on out not responsible for the sounds escaping his own mouth. And with Harry’s focus divided, Louis starts pushing his fingers deeper inside him, finding his spot after mere moments.

The stretch of Louis’ fingers combined with the pulsing pressure against his prostate and the tight wetness of Louis mouth on his cock is possibly the greatest experience of Harry’s life. The different sensations overwhelming and Harry gets a bit lost in it, his mind not forming coherent thoughts aside from _I’m gonna come I’m gonna come I’m gonna fucking come fucking fuck fuuuuuck_. He pulls slightly on Louis’ hair in warning and Louis pushes his fingers insistently against his spot as Harry’s balls draw up almost painfully and he comes in hot pulses into Louis’ mouth.

It’s a bit difficult but Harry tries to focus on Louis as the other boy splutters a bit, come and spit running down his chin and Harry feels like he’s still bloody coming at the sight. Louis pulls his fingers out of him slowly, making Harry wince slightly, and puts his hand on his own hard cock, pumping it in short hard strokes, squeezing at the tip, and after another few moments he comes in thick stripes over Harry’s spent cock and lower stomach, his head thrown back obscenely.

Louis nearly collapses on the bed next to Harry and wipes his arm against his messy mouth and chin. “Holy fuck Hazza,” he says in a low raspy voice, and he sounds like he was the one who just got fucked silly. Harry supposes having your mouth stuffed with cock might have that effect as well.

The ridiculous thought makes him laugh out and the endorphins shooting through his veins make it impossible for him not to give in to it. Louis laughs along with him and when he turns his head towards Harry, eyes crinkled up and wet, light airy laughter leaving his lips, his damp fringe plastered against his forehead and his cheeks rosy, he makes Harry lose his breath. Harry calms down quickly, like all he can do is try to take in how stunningly beautiful the other boy is. Louis’ face melts into warm fondness as they look at each other and Harry loves him so much. So much that he can’t imagine ever not wanting this, not wanting Louis. And it hits him how he had no idea that this is what he was looking for, but that he also didn’t even have to go looking, because Louis found him anyways. Louis found him with eyes sparkling like lightening, brash confidence and gentle softness. Found him with quick banter and beautiful curiosity. And now Harry wants to give him everything. Anything he could ever wish for, because for some unfathomable reason Louis wants him back.

Harry has no idea how he got to be so lucky.

 

\---

 

He wakes up slowly and several times over. The first time he doesn’t even bother to open his eyes, only recognizes a throbbing headache and turns over, burrowing his nose in Louis’ soft hair. The second time he wakes up because Louis’ is coming back to bed, presumably from the bathroom. He’s still naked and a bit cold when he gets under the covers and cuddles close. “Time is it?” Harry grumbles lowly. Louis just shakes his head and pulls Harry’s arms around him.

The third time Harry wakes up is because Louis is pressing light kisses to his chest, cold nose nuzzling into his skin. “Morning babe,” Harry says, warmth spreading in his chest at the sight of Louis, eyes slightly puffy, fringe messy, nose cold and mouth warm.

“Morning,” Louis mumbles and scurries up, pressing his face into Harry neck. “I don’t want to leave bed today.”

“Then lets don’t,” Harry answers, more than willing to have a gorgeous naked boy pressed up against him all day.

“But I’m hungry,” Louis says grumpily. _Adorable little kitten._

Harry laughs, “Oh, so _you_ don’t want to leave bed but you have no issues with _me_ doing so?”

Louis nods, “Mmhmm, that’s a brilliant idea, Dimples, make me breakfast please.”

Petting Louis’ hair, Harry groans and laughs again, “Oh _god,_ okay, whatever you want.” _Whipped and couldn’t care less._ But when he tries to get up Louis wraps around him like a koala, legs tangling with Harry’s and fingers digging into the softness at Harry’s waist.

“You know you’re the best, right? Bestest, thank you,” Louis says, voice soft and a little apologetic. As if Harry minds him being a little cranky and demanding. As _if_.

“I know, I know, now let me get up so I can feed my grumpy boyfriend.” Harry breaks free and starts looking for his disregarded pants on the floor. Louis burrows further into the pillow and pulls the covers over his head. Harry is impossibly endeared as always.

Breakfast turns out to be tea, some sweet biscuits and cereal since they’ve spend most week at Harry’s and forgotten to bring food to Louis’ place. Louis seems very happy with the food though, grumpiness dissipating and getting replaced with teasing and giggles as he’s munching on some biscuits. Harry suspect the warm tea helps a lot too.

They do end up spending the rest of the day in bed. Watching movies, cuddling and kissing. When Harry asks for Louis’ fingers again, Louis happily complies and Harry thinks the butterflies in his stomach should have maybe calmed down by now – only they seem to get more and more frenzied with each day. He’s also not sure if _this_ is the kind of thing that should cause them to dance in his belly. But Louis looks at him, his eyes so soft and warm, voice raspy as he tells him how good he feels, and when he crooks his fingers Harry sees stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	10. 3.4. Harry and Louis have spent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW - This chapter contains a scene with homophobic harassment. Please feel free to come talk to me if you have any questions about it.
> 
> I struggled a lot writing this chapter, thanks again my beta, my love Lois for helping me through it ❤

Harry and Louis have spent the evening at Liam’s, playing board games and eating Niall’s homemade burgers. It’s the first time they’ve all hung out together since Harry and Louis became _boyfriends_ and it’s been amazing. Louis blends in with his best mates wonderfully, making Niall laugh hysterically and poking fun of Liam until he’s blushing, making Niall laugh even harder. The four of them bounce off of each other in a way that makes Harry’s belly warm and fuzzy. It makes him think about how easily Louis has fit into his life. Even if he’s turned his whole world upside down, he’s also made it so much richer and just _more._ He’s caught himself staring at Louis several times during the evening, sometimes getting caught by Louis himself, a lifted eyebrow and teasing eyes making him blush and grin wildly. He’s just so beautiful is the thing. All the time and in different ways. Beautiful when they’re alone and cuddle on the sofa, beautiful when they stand in line at McDonalds at 9pm on a Monday night because they’re too lazy to cook, beautiful when he’s dressed up and dancing, beautiful when he’s grumpy and sleepy. He’s beautiful when he’s chatting with Harry’s friends and Harry can’t really believe it. That he gets to have him. At one point during their dinner he was even grabbed by the urge to stand up on his chair, point to Louis and yell “Can you believe it?! _Look at him?!_ Can you believe how smart and pretty and kind he is? Can you believe how utterly brilliant? Can you believe _I_ get to be with him?!”, but since he wasn’t sure how well that would be received by either his friends or by Louis, he refrained.

Now they are on their way home, fingers intertwined between them as they talk about their plans for the week. It’s early December and the air is crisp around them, their breaths coming out in white clouds. Louis’ cheeks are pink from the cold, his lips slightly chapped, his eyes bright and happy. _I love you._ Louis laughs his airy laugh and throws his head back, his beanie sliding over his forehead and nearly covers his eyes. Harry stops walking and reaches over to help him, pulling the beanie back on his head and kissing his forehead, letting his lips linger there for a moment. The air smells like snow.

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry says as he grabs Louis’ hand and start walking again.

“Pfft,” is all Louis says, but he pulls on Harry’s hand so he can reach up and kiss his cheek. He’s smiling with his whole face and as usual it makes Harry’s lips twitch into a matching grin.

They walk along a busy street lined with coffee shops and pubs. As they walk by a crowded pub Harry catches the eye of a man standing outside having a smoke and he quickly averts his gaze. They start crossing the street when Harry catches a movement from the corner of his eye, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up. He clutches harder on Louis’ hand and tries to ignore it, but then he hears footsteps closing in behind them. Just as he’s about to turn around to see what’s happening he feels a hard shove against his shoulder, making him stumble forward. He’s held up by Louis’ hand but he still feels like he’s falling. His heart beats painfully in his chest.

“Bloody queers, can’t go anywhere without you perverts showing up!” a man with a red face, shaved head and grey stubble yells at them. Harry feels adrenaline shoot through his veins and Louis is hard coiled next to him, his eyes shooting daggers and jaw set tight.

“We’re on our way, leave us alone,” Louis says, voice strained like he’s holding back.

“You disgusting fucking filth, wish I could end all of you!” the man spats at them and shoves Harry again. Harry staggers and is thrown off by how scared he is. The man isn’t very big and he’s alone against Louis and Harry, but Harry has never felt so small. Louis yanks his hand harshly.

“Let’s _go,”_ he says, not letting the man go with his eyes. The man, thankfully, doesn’t follow them any further as they quickly start moving across the street, but he yells another slew of insults that Harry doesn’t catch over the buzzing in his ears.

As they make their way around a corner and look behind them, making sure that the man hasn’t followed them, Harry’s mind is all over the place. He doesn’t know if he should try to laugh it off, but the lump in his throat and the way Louis practically drags him along tells him no. Louis doesn’t say anything either, just walks with quick steps, for once making Harry the one who has to struggle to keep up.

They make their way to Louis’ building and as the lift doors close behind them Harry lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Louis doesn’t look at him and he seems tense, staring at the lift doors like he can’t wait for them to open up again. Harry feels his chest tremble with each breath and as soon as they’ve made their way inside the flat and locked the door, a weak sob escapes his lips. The sound makes Louis look at him, his face falling when he sees him.

“Oh baby,” Louis says and pulls him close, small hands curling around his face and Harry’s field of vision goes blurry as tears well up and fall down his cheeks. From then on it only gets worse, Harry completely overwhelmed with the different feelings floating through him. He’s shaking and loud sobs tears from his throat. He feels sick to his stomach, like he wants to throw up. It’s difficult for him to focus on any one thought in his head because it’s all overshadowed by something like shame curling in his belly. _We shouldn’t have taken that way home, I could have said something, why did he do that._

Louis helps him out of his shoes and coat and with an arm around his waist he leads him towards the bedroom. “Come on love, lets get you to bed,” he says, voice soft and gentle. It makes Harry cry even harder.

They curl up together on the bed, Louis on his back and Harry draped across his chest, face pushed into Louis’ neck as he keeps crying. Louis rubs soothing patterns across his back and whispers to him. “It’s alright love, calm down, you’re safe, he was just a fucking prick, okay? It’s alright, you’re just shocked, you’re alright.”

Eventually Harry manages to calm down, breathing in sync with Louis’ hand caressing his back. They fall asleep tangled up together with their clothes still on.

 

\---

 

Waking up, Harry is alone in bed, and he can tell something is off from the moment he opens his eyes. He’s exhausted, his body feels completely drained and his eyes are so swollen he struggles with opening them. Then he remembers. He sees the man’s cold stare and recalls the words thrown at them and the urge to throw up overcomes him yet again. Heated flames of shame crawl up his spine when he thinks about how he was rendered speechless. How he didn’t defend himself or Louis and just ran.

He gets out of bed slowly and goes out into the hallway to find Louis already on his way out the door. “Morning,” Harry grumbles and rubs at his eyes to see better. 

“Hi!” Louis chirps cheerfully, an unsettling tenseness around his eyes. “I’m off to work, see you later, babe,” he says and with a quick peck at the corner of Harry’s mouth he’s out the door.

Harry just stands there and stares at the door, completely dumbfounded.

 

\---

 

At work Louis tries to distract himself as much as possible even though it feels slightly hopeless. The look of fear on Harry’s face is etched into his brain and he can’t stop thinking about the wrecking sobs that had left his boyfriend’s body last night. Nick is talking to him but he’s not paying attention, only looks dumbly at the whiteboard Nick is drawing on. His phone buzzes on the table and he sees the contact _Hazza <3 _pop up on the screen. He stares at the phone but doesn’t pick up.

“Heeeellooooo, _Louis_?” Nick waves in front of his face and Louis scowls at him as he’s drawn out of his thoughts.

“ _What?”_ he asks sharply.

“Ooh, the dog barks,” Nick says and raises an eyebrow. “I’m just trying to tell you about my _brilliant_ idea for Coster, but _please_ excuse me, you’re apparently busy with more important things.”

Louis glares at him for a few moments before he sags in his chair, “Sorry mate, had a rough night. Just. Think we could do this later? Can’t really focus right now.”

Nick scoffs, “No shit you can’t. Holler when you’re ready I guess,” he says and picks up his things and leaves the room. _Shit fucking shit._ He hates pissing Nick off. Their conversations consist primarily of banter and teasing, but they very rarely fight. His phone buzzes again,

**Can I see you after work, your place? xx**

Louis ignores it yet again and goes back to his desk. The thing is - he doesn’t want to talk to Harry. Doesn’t want to hear the uncertainty in his voice or see the worry on his face. After Harry fell asleep last night Louis had a fitful rest at best. His mind creating one scenario after another that all basically ended the same way - with Harry breaking up with him, and he finds it difficult not to give into the poisonous thoughts. Because really, what can he expect? Harry has barely come out yet and he’s already been shoved into the reality of what being with another bloke can mean. He’s bound to freak out isn’t he? Bound to think it’s not worth it, that Louis isn’t worth it. _Who wouldn’t?_ Just a couple of months ago his life was so much easier and then Louis comes along and ruins everything. Who wouldn’t bugger off? And the mere thought of that is so terrifying Louis doesn’t know what to do with it. So he does as he usually does, feigns ignorance and tries to push his thoughts and feelings to the side.

Harry keeps texting and calling him through out the day and he finds himself getting increasingly annoyed by it as the day goes on. _Take a fucking hint will ya_ , he thinks and immediately feels guilty about it. Somewhere deep down he knows that what he’s doing doesn’t make any sense. That if Harry is thinking of breaking up with him, he should fight to keep him. But that’s never been his way of doing things. If Harry is ending things, he doesn’t want _any_ part of it. Wants to be able to blame Harry and be angry with him, not feel sorry for him and plead with him to stay. Which is exactly what would happen if he talked to him. He knows it. Knows those big green eyes and pouty lips would break down his defences in a matter of seconds.

 

\---

 

Louis has only been home for about 45 minutes when the doorbell rings. _Fuckety fucking fuck._ He should’ve known. Harry is nothing if not stubborn and persistent. He opens the door and is met by an exhausted looking Harry. His eyes are red rimmed and swollen, his hair pulled into a messy bun and his lips bitten red.

“Hi, can I come in?” he asks anxiously and Louis’ heart breaks. Harry is shuffling his feet and looks so fucking _small._

“Of course!” he says and apparently he’s back to obnoxiously cheerful. Everything is fine. So fucking fine. Absolutely _dandy_. They hug when Harry pulls him into his arms but Louis breaks away from it as soon as he can, wanting to put distance between them. _What the fuck am I doing, what is happening?_

Louis asks Harry about his day and swiftly changes the subject whenever Harry tries to bring up the incident from the night before. They eat left overs and watch a movie on Netflix that Louis is unable to even catch the title of. The air between them is tense and Louis is aware of every miniscule twitch of Harry’s muscles. He can tell that Harry wants to touch him, sees the way his fingers reach for him but then draws back last minute. They get ready for bed in silence and Louis curls up on his side with his back to Harry as soon as he gets under the covers. In the dark he can hear Harry’s unsteady breathing, can practically _feel_ Harry’s eyes boring into the back of his head, but he doesn’t do anything about it. He doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want to bring it up to the surface, doesn’t want Harry to realise that he’s better off without him. If he just ignores this it might go away. If he just struggles through another few days of awkward silence and Harry’s pleading eyes things will go back to normal. _Just another few days._

He should have known that for Harry I-wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve Styles a few days is an entire eternity.

 

\---

 

The next day Louis tries to make it up to Nick for being snarky and dives into their new assignment headfirst. It’s an interesting client and he thinks they could come up with something great for them, if only he could focus. Nick obviously notices something is off and asks him about it carefully, only to be met by a vague non-answer. Louis gets the feeling Nick also feels a bit bad about their spat, so they basically spend the day kissing each others’ arse. _Figuratively_.

Around two o’clock he gets a text from Harry,

**Can you come over to my place after work? I really want to see you xx**

It ties his stomach to knots and it is literally the last thing he wants to do, but the idea of ignoring a downright request from Harry seems a bit harsh even for him. _Bite the fucking bullet you coward._

After work he slowly makes his way over to Harry’s, missing the first bus on purpose and even swears loudly to himself as it drives past him, even though he knows it’s his own fault. Harry opens the door and _fucking fuckery fucking shit fuck why does everything have to be so fucking hard all the time?_ Harry looks even more sad and tired than he did yesterday, now dressed in loose joggers and a large jumper. Louis is tired too. It’s only been two days but keeping himself away from Harry is exhausting. He finds he’s still not quite able to push through the wall that he’s built up between them though. He wants to reach out, wants to comfort the other boy, but he doesn’t know how to do that without making himself vulnerable in the process. How does he comfort Harry without talking about the thing that’s upsetting him? They sit down on the sofa and Louis fidgets with the sleeves of his jumper and stares down on his own lap. It’s quiet between them. The air suffocating and Louis hates it.

Eventually Harry takes a deep breath and says “Are you cross with me?”, voice thick with worry.

Of all the feelings bubbling in his chest Louis decides to latch onto annoyance. _Why the fuck would I be cross with you?_ He shakes his head slightly, “No, why would I be?” he asks, still not looking at Harry.

“I don’t know,” Harry says, exasperated. “You’ve been acting strange all day yesterday and today, I don’t know what to do.”

“You can’t do anything, Harry,” Louis says and feels his own chest constricts. _What the fuck am I doing?_

“What do you mean by that?” Harry asks shakily and Louis sees tears well up in his eyes when he looks up at him. He steels himself and lets it all flow out of him freely,

“Well, you just got a peek of what being ‘a bloody queer’ is like, sorry if you don’t like it,” he says and he hears how cold he sounds. He swiftly looks away as tears start pouring down Harry’s cheeks, his chin wobbling.

“Wha- what do you mean by that?”

“You have this naïve idea of what it’s like being gay, you think it’s all just us being together and great sex and being happy but that’s not _it_! That’s just a fucking _dream_ because it doesn’t matter what we do, there will always, fucking always, be people who hate us and want us gone,” Louis says, voice loud and now swaying with emotion. “You’ve never been with a guy before, you don’t know what it’s like, you could just go back to the way it was before and not deal with all this shit.”

There it is, his biggest fear slipping out of his mouth before he has time to stop it.

Harry looks like he’s just been punched in the gut, his face stunned. But then something flashes in his eyes and he cries out, “What the _fuck_ is that supposed to mean?” while wiping at his wet eyes. “What do you mean, ‘I could just go back?’ Do you think this is a _choice_ for me?” He stares at Louis who meets his eyes but doesn’t say anything, the muscle of his jaw grating. _You were just fine before you met me._

“You think I _chose_ to fall in love with you and that I could just choose not to be again? You think I chose to be into men? Like?!” Harry shakes his head, eyes wide in disbelief. “Do you even hear yourself?! Even if I was also into girls, which I’m pretty sure I’m not, it still wouldn’t be a choice! And, yeah, I get it, I don’t _‘know what it’s like’_ to date men, but I’m trying to figure it out and I just. Just…” he loses the heat behind his words, tears starting to fall again. “I don’t understand what you want me to do, I didn’t choose this, but if I could, I would choose this every day for the rest of my life, I would _never_ go back.”

Louis just stares at him for a few moments, because it feels like a thousand little pieces are clicking into place inside his head and he’s struggling to keep up. Because. Of course. He knows. Of course he fucking _gets it_ because he’s thought the same thing a thousand times himself. How the fuck does he get things so twisted in his head all the time? 

“I’m…” he starts and then he feels every last bit of restraint fall out of him. “Oh god, what’s wrong with me?” he says and covers his face with his hands in shame. “I’m so sorry,” he continues and glances at Harry through his fingers. He looks so confused and that makes Louis scrabble to get closer and take Harry’s hands in his. “I’m sorry baby, I don’t know why I said all that.”

Harry’s still crying, “Why do you think I would want anything different? I don’t understand.”

Louis shakes his head and feels tears well up in his own eyes, _why do I keep hurting you?_ “I’m so sorry love, I’m such a fucking arsehole, I just… I guess it’s just… I think I’m just so scared, I’m sorry.”

Harry takes a deep breath like he’s trying to calm himself down, “Scared of _what_?”

“Scared of losing you, scared you’re going to change your mind about us, scared you’ll think it’s not worth it.”

“But what makes you think I would? I... I know I’ve never been in a relationship before but I try really hard to show you how much you mean to me, I just don’t know what you want me to do.” _Oh god you do, you’re so perfect, so lovely, so much more than I could ever wish for._

Louis shakes his head, “It’s nothing you did, it’s me being an insecure arsehole,” he admits sadly.

“But you don’t have to be insecure about me, I’m _so_ in love with you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to that man and that you had to take care of me when we got home, I was just so shaken up, I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no, please sweetheart,” Louis cradles Harry’s cheeks in his hands, thumbs wiping away the fallen tears. “You have nothing to apologise for, _of course_ you were upset, I was too. And I got scared ‘cause you were there with me and I didn’t know how to deal with that… I couldn’t fall asleep after it happened and I got worked up thinking about everything. I’m sorry, fuck… I hate- I hate that I’ve made you feel like you did something wrong, but I’m… shit, I’m really fucking horrible at this relationship stuff aren’t I?” He sighs, “You say you don’t know what you’re doing but I’m pretty sure you’re handling this way better than I am. I feel like I just keep fucking up and making you feel bad about things that are just happening in my head. I’m sorry.” Louis feels so fucking guilty, just looking at Harry breaks him.

“I just need you to trust me, I… I won’t know how to deal with a lot of things and I’m sure I’m naïve sometimes-“ Harry says and Louis opens his mouth to apologies again, but Harry continues. “I _am,_ but I’m learning and I’m… I’m _so happy_ with you, like… I don’t think you understand how much, you’ve literally… you’ve changed my life so much… I’ve never been happier. _Please know that, please._ I…” he takes a pause, sniffling and wiping his nose with the sleeve of his jumper. It’s not even a little gross. “I love you and I want to be with you. _Yes,_ that guy scared the shit out of me but that’s got nothing to do with the two of us.”

Now it’s Louis’ turn to be stunned. Harry really loves him. Harry isn’t leaving. He reaches up and caresses Harry’s cheek with the back of his hand, “I’m so sorry, I love you too.” Harry leans into him and rests his cheek against Louis’ collarbone, pressing closer as they take a moment to calm down.

Eventually Harry sits up again, holding Louis’ hands between their laps and looks at him seriously. “You _do_ understand this isn’t a choice for me right?”

Louis sighs and drops his head in shame, cheeks heating up. “I know, I’m sorry. That was really shitty of me to say.”

“I mean… just because it took me a while to get to know myself doesn’t mean that what I feel isn’t real or that I’ve just… I dunno, talked myself into this, into feeling like this.”

Louis bites at his bottom lip and looks up at Harry bashfully, “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Like… I know it might not make sense to you, that I’ve been with girls and stuff before, because you’ve known about yourself for so long but… it’s not - I didn’t _hate_ being with girls but I didn’t _love it_ either, right? So like-“

“No, please stop it, I know,” Louis interrupts him, thumbs pressing into the palms of Harry’s hands for emphasis. “I don’t know why I said all those things, it wasn’t… it had nothing to do with you really, it’s just… me.” He takes a deep breath before he continues, “Like… I feel like everything’s been so lovely with you, so perfect… like, even coming out to your Mum was a good experience right? And I just… I got scared you wouldn’t think it was worth it when you saw what it can be like.”

The room falls silent after that and Louis forces himself to look up at Harry to gauge his reaction. Harry’s brows are furrowed, eyes troubled and _so_ sincere. “Why would I give up the best thing that’s ever happened to me because of what some arsehole says?”

Louis’ stomach flutters at that, the feeling a bit strange with the air so heavy and serious between them. He tries to make sense of his own thoughts before answering. “But that’s… that’s just it, love. It’s not just some arsehole, it’s a whole fucking… _system_ and… and sometimes it feels like it’s the whole fucking _world_ and it’s… not easy to deal with sometimes.”

“Yeah but, like I said, it’s not a choice, being… being gay or bi or whatever… it’s not…” Harry frowns again, clearly frustrated about their conversation going in circles. “Feeling like… like a whole person, like I know myself for the first time in my life that’s… worth everything and I… like I know I don’t _know_ a lot of things. I know I have prejudice and misconceptions and. Like. I didn’t even have any gay friends before I met you, you know? How weird is that? Like I thought I knew… but I. _Fuck,_ I don’t even know what I’m trying to say.” He shakes his head in defeat and drops his gaze. The sight tugs at Louis’ heart and his instinct to make Harry smile flashes like red sirens in his brain.

“Hey I know… I mean. We can’t all be flamboyant glitter flakes from birth, right? Some of us need some time to get there.”

Harry huffs out a small laugh and snivels a bit, his lips pouting out adorably, “Is that you then? A flamboyant glitter flake?” _Bingo._

Louis flashes him a huge grin, flutters his eyelashes and puts his palms up, “Yah, can’t you tell?” and Harry grins wildly at that, dimples popping. _There ya go._

“ _My_ flamboyant glitter flake,” Harry says and pulls on Louis’ shirt to get him closer, Louis’ chest close to bursting with love. 

They kiss slowly and sweetly, savouring the closeness and taste of each other. Louis’ head still swimming with thoughts and his stomach curling with emotion. _I need to get a fucking grip. Can’t keep freaking out like this on him. Can’t fucking push him away before we’ve barely gotten started._ He pecks Harry’s plush lips a few tips before pulling away bit, meeting Harry’s eyes. They get stuck like that for a while, drinking each other in, everything else fading into the background as their eyes exchange vows.

“You know I don’t… I don’t think any less of you because I’m the first bloke you’ve been with?” Louis asks, wanting to reassure Harry.

“I know,” Harry says quietly, reaching out for Louis’ hand and placing small kisses into the palm of it.

“Like, I’m just. I know things have… it’s gone so fast between us, I mean it’s quite ridiculous if you think about it…“ Louis says and continues quickly at the worried look on Harry’s face, “-and I honestly wouldn’t change a fucking thing because it’s been, _it is,_ _you are_ absolutely amazing. But I think I just… my head hasn’t been able to really keep up, yeah? I mean, a couple months ago I was basically a recluse and now all of a sudden I’m the happiest guy on earth, it’s a lot to take in.”

Harry smiles softly, eyes fucking _twinkling,_ “I know, I feel the same way.” Louis sort of melts.

“Okay so… I just want you to know that I might- I mean, _clearly,_ I’m bound to fuck up sometimes because I have no fucking idea of what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want this. Because I do. Want this. Want you,” Louis concludes and gives in to the urge to reach out and put one of Harry’s wild curls behind his ear, thumb gracing the shell of it slowly.

Harry looks at him that way that only he ever has, like Louis is the centre of the universe.

“I want you too, want this…” he says and blushes. “And I want to… I want you to tell me about your like… experiences and stuff. It won’t scare me off, I want to understand.”

Louis is a bit confused by what Harry means and smiles with a small frown, “What do you mean experiences?”

“You’ve obviously been through stuff like this before, like with that man, and I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me because you think I’ll run off.” 

Louis nods slowly, not really sure what to say next. “You sort of… learn to deal with it I guess. Like the other night I wasn’t even that scared of him, just really hated seeing _you_ scared like that and then… other times it’s like, just a small thing that will get to you, a comment or someone being ignorant that really stays with you in a really shitty way. But it’s… there are great things as well, things we wouldn’t have without each other yeah? Like, my first pride parade was the most euphoric feeling ever, being surrounded by all these amazing people and feeling like _I get to be part of this,_ it’s quite wonderful.”

“Yeah I can imagine, I can’t wait to go,” Harry smiles.

Louis laughs, “Oh yeah, we’ll go and Nick will probably make you wear something _dashing_ and you’ll be the prettiest flamboyant glitter flake of us all.”

“As long as I get to be your glitter flake I’m pretty sure I’ll agree to wear anything.”

Louis blushes furiously at that, _you big giant thing of a sap._

“Spandex it is then, Curly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	11. 3.5. Ever since

Ever since the emotional upheaval of last week, things have changed. Not in some massive way, but in the little things. Like suddenly everything is a bit sharper, a bit brighter, a little bit easier. Louis has told him about coming out and how he spent three days “hiding away” at Zayn’s house, only to later find out that Jay and Zayn’s parents had been in agreement about him staying there since the moment Louis showed up at their doorstep. Harry has talked about his “inexplicable” yet very intense childhood crush on Dr McDreamy and how he used to blush and stutter about what “a great character he is” whenever Gemma teased him about it. (“Yeah, clearly Oscar worthy!” Louis wheezed through tears of laughter, looking as fond as ever.)

Harry finds himself fascinated by how the last few months have cast light on things in his past that he’s never considered before. He never made a big deal out of the fact that he found Gemma’s first boyfriend endlessly captivating, because he always boiled it down to “admiration”. He never _truly_ thought about why he sometimes avoided buying a certain shirt or refrained from painting his nails when Perrie offered. How it’s all interconnected with fear and prejudice and a huge piece of logic missing in his life. Harry’s always seen himself as an open minded and accepting person, but he realises he’s held himself back so many times in his 23 years of life. It makes him both sad for his past self, but also excited for the future. Sometimes he loses himself in the thought of throwing himself out there, of wearing whatever he’d like, of openly appreciating men’s beauty (he’s already started by texting Niall about the remarkable length of Louis’ eyelashes) and being so fucking in love the world won’t know what hit it.

“ _Why_ are you awake?” comes a whine from the lips currently being pressed against his hip as he’s sitting up against the headboard.

Harry looks down and smiles at the sight of Louis wrapping his warm body over his legs under the sheets. “I’m texting Gemma, she’s in Tokyo.”

“But _whyyyy_?” Louis says again and grabs clumsily at Harry’s arms to get him to put the phone down. Harry just smiles even harder. _Such a cute grumpy._

“I told you she’s in Japan for work, remember? We’re talking about you so.”

That seems to motivate Louis to wake up a bit more, he huffs slightly and scrambles up Harry’s body to peer at his phone. “What? Whassya saying ‘bout me?”

“She’s chuffed she had to hear about you from Mum I guess… which yeah, I’m a terrible brother, but now she’s commanding I tell her everything when we see each other over Christmas.”

“Oh,” Louis says softly, now infinitesimally more awake. “Only tell her nice things, I want her to like me, she seems cool." 

Harry fears his face might actually crack he’s grinning so hard, “I’ll tell her how cute and grumpy you are in the morning,” he says and places a kiss on Louis’ nose.

Louis’ scrunches said nose and mumbles “I’ll show you cute and grumpy,” but the way the corners of his eyes crinkle up tells Harry he’s secretly pleased.

 

\---

 

It’s a bit stressful at work but Harry doesn’t really mind. He can’t believe his first full year as a social worker is wrapping up. It makes him feel very young and supremely adult at the same time. The lunchroom is busy as he makes his way over to the fridge to pick up his lunchbox. Popping the left over risotto in the microwave he starts chatting with Nevena about how much work they have left to do before Christmas.

“Yeah, I just don’t know how I’m supposed to be able to make it, and I’ve got three new cases coming in next week too,” his co- worker says as they sit down next to Dean and Susan at a table.

“Ehrm, no I know, think I’m gonna have to do over time all week next week,” Harry comments before listening in to the conversation around the table. Susan is talking about her granddaughter and they all start fawning over the picture she shows them on her phone.

“I mean look at that face!” Susan says proudly and Harry leans closer to look.

“Oh she’s adorable, Sus, how old is she now?” Harry asks and melts a little looking at the baby wrapped up in a tiger suit.

“Just turned 7 months! Can you believe it? Me? A grandma! Does that mean I’m old now?”

“You don’t look a day over 40 and you know it,” Harry winks and smiles at her.

“Oh, shut it you!” Susan says and slaps his arm playfully, her cheeks pinking. “Always the charmer!

Harry hold up his hands in defence, “Just stating the truth,” he says and shrugs. Susan is one of his favourite co- workers and he loves their banter.

The conversation turns into talk about weekend plans and it sets Harry’s nerves into high alert. Everyone is taking turns talking about going to the cinema or to the ice rink with the kids and Harry’s heart is beating rapidly. He knows they will turn to him and ask about his plans and he sort of. He wants to tell them. Even if his plans are really non-plans he still doesn’t want to omit the most important part of them - Louis. _Don’t worry, just say it, just tell them, it’ll be fine,_ he tries to psych himself up. And as sure as eggs is eggs, they all turn to look at him after a while.

“Oh um, I don’t really have any plans… just having a quiet one with my boyfriend I think,” he says and feels his cheeks burn as he says it. _Fucking breathe, what can they do?_

They go silent is what they do, three pairs of eyes staring at him.

“That sounds lovely,” Nevena says eventually and gives him a small reassuring smile and Harry feels a little more at ease. That, however, only lasts a few moments. 

“Boyfriend huh?” Dean asks and tilts his head as if he’s pondering something. Harry has never liked him and he’s got a feeling he’s about to be reassured of the fact. “Guess that makes sense when you think about it.”

Harry frowns slightly, heart still hammering in his chest, “What do you mean?”

“Well, you were always a bit different, you know with the hair and the shirts and everything.” Dean makes a vague hand gesture in Harry’s direction, “Guess it just makes sense now.”

For a moment Harry just looks at him, honestly a bit stunned. _What even._ “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I follow,” Harry says, shaking his head slightly and squinting his eyes.

“Not saying there’s anything wrong with it, just, you know, like… you’re not exactly nor- not exactly like us other lads,” Dean continues and Harry wonders if he truly thinks he’s making sense.

“You’re saying that my hair and the way I dress make sense to you now because I’ve got a boyfriend?” he asks and he can hear his voice dripping with scepticism.

“Oh come off it Styles, you know very well what I mean! Straight men don’t dress like _that_.”

Nevena turns to look at Dean, eyebrow raised, “Really Dean, _really_?”

“What!? It’s even a compliment, isn’t it!? Don’t you women always complain about how men don’t know how to dress?” Dean laughs incredulously.

“Sorry Dean, but I really don’t think you can blame your sense of style on being straight,” Harry says and raises an arched eyebrow. _You fucking wanker._

Nevena bursts out laughing and Susan clasps her mouth in delight, “Oh Dean, he got you there, didn’t he!”

Dean turns red faced and looks furious as he stands up from the table, “No need to get cheeky, Styles,” he sputters and walks over to the sink.

Harry has to fight a smirk from taking over his face, biting his lips and bowing his head down. “You think I upset him?” he asks Susan and Nevena.

“Pfft, he deserved it! Tell us more about this mystery man of yours now,” Nevena says and smiles at him, all genuine curiosity.

Harry thinks that maybe he should invite her out for a pint sometime.

 

\---

 

He’s getting ready to leave work when he gets a text from Louis telling him to let himself in when he comes over because Louis is busy cooking. A giddy smile spreads over his lips at the idea of Louis puttering around in the kitchen, soft and warm and a tad bit stressed about burning the food. It makes him scrabble quickly to turn off his computer, grab his coat and head out.

As soon as he opens the door to Louis’ flat he’s hit with a rich smell of curry. “Hell _ooo_ , I’m here now!” he announces as he takes off his coat and shoes. 

“In the kitchen!” Louis answers and Harry makes his way into said room.

Louis is standing by the stove, left hand perching on his cocked hip as he’s stirring with his right. He’s dressed in a grey t- shirt that’s ridden up in the back and gives Harry a perfect view of his delightful bum clad in tight blue jeans. Harry quickly makes his way over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him and pressing his nose to the spot behind Louis’ ear. “Hi baby, it smells amazing,” Harry grumbles, his chest expanding with warmth and comfort at finally having Louis in his arms again.

Louis relaxes into his embrace, “Thanks love, hope it tastes fine as well, am a bit in over my head I think,” he frowns down at the pot. Harry looks over his shoulder at the food and his mouth waters at the sight.

“Looks amazing too, sure it’ll be lovely,” he says and hugs Louis even closer, brushing his lips down Louis’ neck, making him shiver.

“Gonna make the chef hard if you keep that up love,” Louis moans quietly, encouraging Harry to move his hands up under Louis’ shirt and palm over his smooth stomach.

“Just how I like him,” Harry says, pushing his hips forward and rubbing his increasingly interested cock against Louis’ bum.

Louis lets out a whine and reaches up to curl a hand into Harry’s curls and drag him down for a kiss. Louis’ thin lips press insistently against his and it’s kind of remarkable how quickly Harry thickens up in his pants. But then Louis pulls away and wiggles his hips to create some distance between them and Harry can’t help pouting. “Not gonna let you cock up dinner, Harold,” Louis says and turns his focus back on the food.

Harry honks out a laugh and rests his forehead against the back of Louis’ head. “Wanna cock _you_ up,” he says and he can almost _feel_ Louis rolling his eyes at him, even though he’s probably well aware he basically gave that one away for free.

“Indecency in the kitchen! Go make yourself useful and set the table will ya!” Louis yells, barely able to hold back laughter, eyes crinkling up.

They eat on the sofa in the living room as they watch the evening news, chatting about their day and enjoying each other’s company. Harry tells Louis about what happened at lunch making Louis grin proudly and give him a wet kiss on the cheek for pissing Dean off. After dinner they curl up together, Louis lying half on top of Harry, and they don’t really pay any attention to Antiques Roadshow playing in the background. Harry’s mind wanders back to a topic he’s entertained throughout the week as his fingers gently travel up the curve of Louis’ spine. The thought makes heat simmer in the pit of his stomach. “Hey babe…?” he says quietly, not wanting to disturb the tranquillity of the moment.

“Hmm?” Louis presses a small kiss to Harry’s sternum.

“Umm…” Harry’s heart starts fluttering in his chest, the butterflies in his stomach trembling their wings. “We’re just gonna stay in tomorrow night right?”

“Yeah, I guess? Haven’t really made any plans right? We could do something if you-“

“No, that’s not…” Harry says and shakes his head. “Was thinking maybe… we could be at my place? And umm…” 

Louis props his chin up on Harry’s chest and looks at him curiously, obviously having caught on to the fact that Harry is heading somewhere with this conversation. “What love?”

Harry blushes under Louis’ gaze, the blue of his eyes so bright Harry feels like he’s caught under a spotlight, he bites his bottom lip nervously before continuing, “Was thinking I could cook for you and we could, perhaps you could…” _Jesus effing Christ out with it._

But of course he’s too bloody slow, because Louis’ lips start twitching into a smirk even if he tries to hide it, his lips pursing into a small v-shaped smile. “ _I could_ …?” he urges on, eyebrow lifting teasingly.

Harry swallows thickly, “You could, maybe, fuck me?” and the moment the words have left his mouth he meets Louis’ eyes, the teasing glint is still there but also something heavier, darker.

“I could do that yeah…” Louis breathes out, his hand grabbing onto Harry’s hip and pressing closer, his crotch rubbing up against Harry’s thigh.

“Yeah? You want to?” Harry says and he sort of _knows_ the answer but he still wants to hear it out loud.

“I’d _love to_ ,” Louis says, fingers sliding along Harry’s ribs as his hips start going in small circling motions against Harry. 

Harry lets out a relieved breath and smiles woozily as Louis digs his feet into the sofa cushions to draw himself up Harry’s body and press his lips against the sensitive skin of Harry’s throat. It’s fucking dizzying to see the bodily effect his words has on Louis, how within a few minutes Louis has gone from soft and pliant to small breathy gasps and tense muscles pressing close.

“Been thinking about it so much ever since I got my fingers inside you,” Louis mumbles as he starts trailing his tongue up under Harry’s jaw before biting lightly right at the sharp angle of it.

Harry moans, once again feeling his body surrender to the will of Louis, arousal searing through his veins and out to the tips of his fingers and toes. “Me too, _fuck Lou…”_ he pushes his hardening cock against Louis and feels him equally eager against his hip.

Then Louis pulls himself up slightly, leaning on his hands as he hovers over Harry, putting a few centimetres between them as he breathes shakily. “Not tonight though,” Louis says and nods once as if he agrees with himself.

Harry takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, trying to calm down. “No, not tonight,” he agrees, his hands caressing up Louis’ back as Louis sinks back against him with a deep sigh, resting his cheek on Harry’s chest.

“You gonna make me dinner and proper woo me first yeah? Get me all worked up over your spaghetti,” Louis says around a wide grin. _You’re fucking ridiculous. I love you._

Harry chuckles and promises he will, his voice gone soft and deep all of a sudden. Overcome with appreciation for how Louis seems to be able to ease his nerves with only a few words, he wraps the other boy up in his arms and tries to settle the excited flutter in his stomach.

 

\---

 

The next day Harry gets home from work with his arms full of groceries’ and his thoughts all over the place. During the day he’s worked himself into a bit of a frenzy over how he wants the evening to go, planning the food and thinking about how to set the table. And maybe he’s done that to distract himself from the _other_ things he’s been stressing about during the day, not really fond of the deep blush that’s been blooming over his cheeks at regular intervals.

He puts the groceries away and decides to get _the other stuff_ over and done with so he can focus on dinner. Last night Harry had, in the comfort of the dark bedroom, asked Louis if there was anything he should do to prepare himself for the oncoming evening and Louis had told him, words easy and relaxed even though Harry himself had been _burning up._ So he gets to it, showering _thoroughly,_ both a bit embarrassed and excited about the routine. Afterwards he puts on his best jeans, the tight black ones ripped at the knee, and a white short sleeved silky shirt that feels amazing against his skin. He takes time to arrange his curls over his shoulders and moisturise his face properly. When he deems himself properly groomed he checks the time and sees that Louis is about to arrive in little over an hour so he starts with the rest of the preparations.

Harry is currently examining the set table when the doorbell rings and he takes a deep breath, grin already spreading over his face at the thought of Louis outside his door. And _fuck it_ if Louis isn’t the most stunning he’s _ever bloody been_ as Harry opens the door. (Harry knows he thinks the same thing every time he sees him but he still thinks it’s true) Louis has his coat slung over his arm and he tilts his head cheekily and smiles as Harry takes him in.

“Was told to dress up for date night, hope I’m not too disappointing,” he says and sticks his tongue out between sharp teeth.

Harry drinks him in once again and shakes his head, “Definitely not,” he says and steps aside to let Louis in. As Louis puts up his coat and takes off his shoes Harry shamelessly ogles him. He’s wearing dark blue dress trousers that clings to his thighs obscenely, a soft looking button up in the same colour and a fitted black blazer with rolled up sleeves on top. His beard neatly trimmed and his hair-

“Did you cut your hair?!” Harry nearly _shrieks_ in excitement, eyes bulging out slightly at the short fringe swept across Louis’ forehead, immediately reaching out to tenderly feel the newly cut strands.

Louis shrugs and tries to play it off, “Just a bit of a trim, you like it?”, his eyes are sparkling and Harry is breathless.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Harry says bluntly because he just, _can’t not._

Louis seems satisfied with the reaction and pulls Harry down for a kiss that honestly turns into a bit of a snog because they can’t seem to stop, tongues teasing and smiles unstoppable as they press together. “You look amazing love, always so fucking pretty for me,” Louis says and brushes a thumb over Harry’s wet bottom lip, leaving Harry to stare at the perfect bow of Louis’ eyebrow, the freckles smattering across his left cheek and the spellbinding flutter of his long eyelashes.

“I love you,” he says and Louis’ eyes look up at him through those long lashes and _how? Howhowhow **how** is he real?_

“I love you too,” Louis answers and kisses him tenderly one last time before pulling away, “Now, I heard I was here to get wooed so.”

Harry grins at him and can’t help to give him another peck before leading him out to the kitchen. He’s made a simple but delicious pasta dish with spinach and feta cheese, and the room smells wonderful. Louis doesn’t seem to take notice of that though because he’s staring at the set table, mouth slightly agape. “Okay wow, but you know I would’ve fucked you without all this, right?” he says crudely and gestures at the table. Harry blushes and Louis visibly winces, “Erh, I mean… shit, sorry love, this just. I didn’t mean…” he shakes his head and gathers Harry’s hands in his, cradling them against his chest. “This is _so lovely_ Haz, I can’t believe you… I really don’t deserve you, do I?” Louis says and looks at him in wonder.

“But you _do,_ I just wanted to… do something nice for you,” Harry says and throws a glance at the setting, a dark table cloth flowing down over the table, his favourite tableware and fake crystal glasses glimmering in the light of the candelabra.

Louis pulls in a ragged breath and gives him a soft kiss, “Thank you love, I just… sorry for being such a knob, I’m really just a bit overwhelmed. No one’s ever done anything like this for me before and I really didn’t mean _this_ when I said-“

“I know you didn’t, but I wanted to, okay?” Harry says softly but firmly, wanting Louis to listen and understand. “This is nothing compared to what you do for me on a daily basis.”

Louis blushes and looks down at their feet, Harry’s toes covered by black sport socks nudging against Louis’. “Are those glitter socks?” Harry asks then before he can stop himself, completely disregarding the tenderness of the moment.

“Speckled socks,” Louis corrects him and puts his toes on top of Harry’s larger ones.

“Very smart,” Harry says and smiles.

“Well thank you,” Louis says and he’s so soft and gentle now, so different from the cheeky little shit that arrived only minutes ago. Harry absolutely adores both versions.

“Why don’t you sit down and I’ll get the food,” Harry says and nudges Louis’ hip to make him move. Louis nods and complies as Harry grabs the bowl of pasta and serves them both, getting a bottle of chilled white wine from the fridge before sitting down across from his boyfriend.

Louis is quiet as Harry pours the wine in their glasses, looking a bit stunned. When Harry sets down the bottle he nods towards Louis’ plate, “Dig in.”

“Yeah, of course, thank you,” Louis answers, his voice a bit raspy and he looks like every good dream Harry has ever had. Eventually Louis seems to bring himself out of his own thoughts and picks up conversation as usual, several times over stopping to compliment the food and Harry’s efforts. 

When they’re both finished Harry clears the table of the dirty dishes and then hesitates in front of the fridge. “Do you want desert now, or…?”

Louis wipes his mouth with a napkin and smirks, “Depends on what you mean by desert, I guess.”

Harry rolls his eyes and laughs, “You can pick any kind of desert you want,” feeling a bit silly with how much he enjoys their flirting. Louis gets up from the table and saunters over to him, hips swaying, the embodiment of seduction in Harry’s eyes.

He drags his small hands down Harry’s biceps slowly, “I think I want the kind of desert that I can pick apart piece by piece and have trembling against the sheets,” he says and he sounds teasing but his pupils are dark with something else. The combination is absolutely maddening.

Not knowing how to respond to that, Harry wraps his fingers around the curve of Louis’ waist and flushes their bodies together. “I’ll give you anything,” he grumbles before kissing Louis deeply. And the thing is. They are both capable of quick banter and confident statements but both equally fall speechless in the hands of the other. It’s like a dance where they take turns taking the lead and following blindly. Because Louis just sort of melts under his hands, licking his lips and lets out small breathy gasps as Harry rocks his hips against him, kissing his way up Louis’ neck. “So fucking gorgeous, you don’t know what you do to me,” Harry says into his ear, breathing heavily.

Louis hands go into Harry’s long hair and pulls at it to gain purchase, his thigh sliding between Harry’s so that he’s nearly riding Harry’s thigh as he rolls his hips against him.

“Fittest fucking man in the world, I swear,” Louis responds and throws his head back in pleasure as Harry grabs onto his arse and squeezes.

Eventually Harry is able to get clear headed enough to realise they’re rubbing it off in the kitchen when they could be a lot more comfortable and a lot more naked in bed. With one last swipe of his tongue along the seem of Louis lips he moves away and pulls Louis with him towards the bedroom, only making it half way to there before remembering the lit candles and he practically runs back into the kitchen to blow them out. When he makes it back Louis has moved into the bedroom and started to undress, blazer thrown over the back of the sofa and trousers zipped open, a hand already shoved into his pants and moving slowly over his hard cock. Harry idly wonders if he’ll pass out from how fast the blood flows to his cock as he starts unbuttoning his own shirt and lets it fall to the floor, Louis’ eyes burning into his skin. The air is so thick with tension and heat it’s difficult to focus, the whole night having built up to this moment - electricity thrumming in the atmosphere at the touch of their fingertips and through the never ending silent conversation between their eyes.

“Take your clothes off, love.”

Harry obliges, pulling the stretchy fabric of his trousers off together with his pants and socks in one go, efficiently getting him completely naked in a matter of seconds. Louis smiles at that, the thick tension easing up a bit.

“Very impressive, Mr Styles,” Louis says, eyes crinkling up as he gets to work on his own trousers. When he stands up properly again he’s left in nothing but the blue shirt, his eyes looking like dark sapphires and the golden skin of his thighs mouth watering beneath the hem of the shirt, cock standing hard and thick between his legs.

“Jesus Christ,” is all Harry says before he pulls the other boy into him again, his hands palming over the naked skin of Louis’ arse cheeks. They fall onto the bed, Louis straddling Harry’s hips, moving against him as they kiss heatedly.

Then Louis sits back, bum resting against Harry’s hard cock as he starts unbuttoning his shirt, revealing more of his inked up skin with each button. His newly cut hair is a mess on top of his head, drops of sweat already forming at his temples. Harry’s hands travel up Louis’ legs, his thumbs moving over the sensitive skin on his inner thighs making Louis moan. “So beautiful,” Harry whispers, mesmerised.

Finally Louis drops the shirt onto the floor and reaches down to start stroking his own cock, eyes glued to Harry’s. “You’re so fucking fit, can’t wait to feel you on my cock.” Then he leans down and puts his mouth over one of Harry’s nipples, circling it with his tongue and blowing cool air over the sensitive skin until Harry’s trembling with it before moving on to the next one.

Harry knows he’s being loud, feeling over sensitised everywhere, like every puff of Louis’ breath against his skin will be what brings him over the edge. Louis touches him all over, fingertips trailing slowly from his knee up to the v of his hips, thumb rubbing at the base of his cock and nose nuzzling down the path of hair that goes from Harry’s bellybutton down to his crotch. “So lovely babe, so amazing, can’t believe how lucky I am to have you, so bloody lucky,” Louis rambles, lips ghosting over his skin.  

“ _Lou, please…”_ Harry breathes out, so fucking gone without even having his cock or arse touched yet. He feels the sheets sticking to his skin as he arches his back to get even closer. Louis comes up to kiss him again, pushing hair off his forehead and looks at him with so much love and want Harry gasps with it.

“So beautiful babe… lets make you feel good, yeah?”

Harry nods, “Please.”

Louis stumbles off the bed to look for lube and condoms in the box Harry keeps next to his bed instead of a nightstand. Finding it he grins at Harry and plops down on the bed again, nudging a space for himself between Harry’s legs. “How do you want to do this love? Any special requests?” he asks and he’s being cheeky again, only managing to turn Harry on even more.

“Maybe like this… like you did before? With your fingers? I wanna kiss you,” he answers and Louis nods. Harry bends his knees and opens up his legs as far as he can to make room for Louis. This part he knows, this part he’s begged for several times in the past week and Louis’ fingers have taken him apart every single time.

Lubing up three fingers, Louis eyes wander all over Harry’s naked body, biting his lip as he looks at Harry’s exposed hole. “Look so good babe, fucking incredible.” When he’s satisfied with the slickness covering his fingers he leans over Harry again, catching his lips in a kiss as he starts rubbing his fingers against Harry’s hole. _Yes yes yes._

Harry loves the way it feels, so sensitive and _intimate_ and _so good._ Louis stretches him slowly, adding up to three fingers as Harry opens up for him. The drag of his fingers curling inside him is so fucking good, Harry’s cock leaking precome onto his stomach as Louis rubs over his prostate over and over. They kiss sloppily as Louis’ fingers move inside him, tongues sliding wetly together and teeth nibbling at their lips. “So perfect for me, so fucking amazing babe, can’t believe how good you feel,” Louis breathes out and suddenly Harry needs to wrap his fingers around the base of his cock harshly to stop himself from coming, “Wait wait _wait_ _stop!”_ he grinds out and Louis stills on top of him. After a few seconds he drops back on the bed, breathing out in relief. “ _Fuck_ , I’m ready, I want you.”

Louis looks a bit dazed before shaking himself out of it and nodding again, picking up the condom he put on the bed before. Harry bites his bottom lip and hesitates for a moment before he wraps his fingers loosely around Louis’ wrist. “Do you… do we need that?” he asks and looks carefully at Louis.

“What?” Louis asks dumbly before looking back at the condom in his hand. “You want…? _Oh god,”_ he says and shuts his eyes tightly. “You’ll be the end of me I swear…” he takes a deep breath, “I think…I think it’s better if we use it the first time at least, might be… it can get a bit messy…” He looks at Harry intently, making sure Harry understands. 

“I don’t mind messy…” Harry mumbles and does his best not to pout.

“Oh _god,_ okay that’s… just, lets see what you say once you’ve actually had a cock up your arse yeah?”

Harry nods, assuming Louis knows better since… yeah. “Okay.”

Louis smiles softly at him and places a smatter of small kisses over Harry’s stomach before getting back to opening up the condom and putting it on. Just watching Louis touch himself, rolling the condom over his thick cock has Harry thrumming with nerves and arousal. He reaches over to grab the lube and pours some in his hand, Louis meeting his gaze as he starts rubbing his wet hand over Louis’ cock, getting him ready. Louis moans at the contact, leaning over Harry and kissing him softly. “You think… do you wanna be on top?” he asks and Harry’s heartbeat picks up, a bit thrown off at the question.

“Umm… I… I don’t know what…” he starts, a bit lost since he just assumed Louis would be on top.

“It might be easier if you can set the pace yourself, like, take all the time you need?” Louis looks at him so sincerely and Harry feels a pang of deep adoration in his chest. “If you want? Or I’ll just, I’ll be careful of course.”

“No I can… I can try? If you… help?” Harry says, already getting used to the idea and understanding Louis’ point.

They rearrange themselves on the bed, Harry straddling Louis thighs and reverently touching the heated skin of his torso, loving how big his hands look splayed out over the golden skin. “I love you,” Harry mumbles, lost in the feeling of Louis beneath him.

Louis smiles his breathtaking, earth shattering, universe expanding kind of smile, the one Harry is convinced could bring on world peace or world wars alike. “Love you too babe,” he says, voice raspy and high and so fucking beautiful.

Harry reaches behind himself and wraps his fingers around Louis’ cock, leaning forward slightly as he breathes through his nose trying to focus. When he brushes the tip of Louis cock against his wet hole he gasps out slightly, the feeling so different form Louis’ confident fingers. He steadies himself with one hand on the pillow and takes a deep breath as he carefully pushes back against Louis’ cock, the head prodding but not breaching him. “Oh god…” he grunts and shuts his eyes as he pushes back a little harder, Louis’ hands caressing up and down his thighs slowly.

“Doing so well babe, you look so good,” Louis says but Harry barely hears him. 

He bites his lip in concentration, tilts his hips slightly and with a final push the head of Louis’ cock enters him, “Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, _fuck,”_ he grinds out between clenched teeth. Because it’s. It’s big. It’s impossible. It feels so fucking massive his first instinct is to get up and off the bed, the stretch so different, so much _more._ “Oh god.” He falls forward, leaning his upper body on both hands clenching the sheets.

“Take it easy, just go slow,” Louis says and touches his cheek, Harry opening his eyes to look into the intensity of Louis’ blue ones. Louis looks a bit tense, like he’s struggling to stay relaxed and for a moment Harry focuses on the small frown of concentration between his eyebrows, the way his pink tongue darts out to wet his lips. “You alright?” Louis asks him and he nods, slowly getting used to the feeling of Louis inside him.

Louis pulls him down by the back of his neck to kiss him, tongues immediately wet and warm against each other. Harry gets a bit lost in it, Louis’ mouth luring waves of heat from the pit of his stomach. Then Louis reaches down between them and curls his fingers around Harry cock, working the foreskin over the wet slit to get him back to full hardness. Harry hadn’t even noticed his cock softening slightly, so dazed with the new sensations. But hard he gets, Louis’ fingers feel so fucking good on him and he starts working his hips slowly to feel more, inevitably pushing Louis further inside him.

He breathes deeply trying to adjust and not get too overwhelmed with the pleasure searing through him and the slightly uncomfortable, wholly _massive_ pressure he feels as Louis slides further inside. They kiss filthily, neither of them really putting any effort into the kiss, but groaning into each other’s mouths.

“Jesus _Christ_ you feel so good, _so fucking tight,_ ” Louis says and rubs his thumb over the head of Harry’s cock.  

Harry doesn’t answer, just keeps panting open mouthed and feels rivulets of sweat make their way down his spine. He’s so hot, feels like he’s burning up. Eventually he bottoms out and he groans out loudly, “Holy _fuck,_ that’s… oh god, that’s… so _much_ ,” and he notices the tremble in his arms as he struggles to hold himself up over Louis.

“ _Yes oh fuck, god you feel good,”_ Louis moans and he sounds like pure sex, like heat and tight pressure.

Harry gives himself a few moments before he starts sitting back up, leaning back on Louis’ thighs and somehow Louis fills him up even more. As the burn of the stretch melts into _heat_ and he’s overcome with how fucking _full_ he feels, tears gather at the corners of his eyes and he wonders if it’s possible to just. Combust.

He desperately searches for Louis’ hands to cling onto as he starts moving, tilting his hips back and forwards slowly. His thighs already start to ache, not used to staying in this position for long and they tremble slightly, “Lou… please, _move._ ”

“Yes, ’course, god you’re so amazing, so beautiful,” Louis rambles as he plants his feet on the bed and starts thrusting up into Harry’s tight heat.

Harry barely has time to adjust to the new movement before Louis’ cock graces over his prostate and after that it’s. Everything. All at once. He feels his chest vibrating with the moans falling from his mouth, pleasure curling through his body in waves, his cock throbbing with it as Louis’ hand keeps working him over in time with his thrust. Harry is barely aware enough to move much himself, busy trying to stay upright and not just pass out, his head light and buzzing.

He feels Louis’ strong body working underneath him, rambling words of praise and encouragement. “Can’t believe how good you feel… look, _unnngh_ , _so good_ … ‘m so fucking lucky, oh god… I’m close, fuck I’m so close… babe, common, you getting there?”

“Yes, _yes_ , _please,_ keep going, don’t stop _, don’t stop,”_ he says and with a few hard thrust against his spot, Harry comes with a shout, losing himself in it as he spurts all over Louis’ chest. It feels like it’s never fucking ending and he only vaguely registers Louis going rigid beneath him, a litany of curse words leaving Louis as he comes inside of him.

He collapses on top of Louis, burrowing his head into Louis’ neck and panting harshly. Louis starts pulling out of him carefully and he winces at how sensitive he is, but can’t be arsed to protest. “Babe… babe, you need to, _unghf,_ move…” Louis grunts, his voice sounding completely blown out.

Harry lets Louis’ hands push him away, falling to the side and landing on his back on the bed. He doesn’t know for how long they stay like that, catching their breaths, but at some point Louis gets up, come covered chest and all, and comes back cleaned off, a glass of water and a wet towel in his hands. He gives the water to Harry who gulps it down thankfully before falling back on the bed as Louis starts dragging the warm towel over Harry’s spent body. “Thank you,” Harry says and then those fucking tears start welling up in his eyes again. _God why does fucking have to make me cry? Jees._

Louis smiles down at him, cheeks flushed and hair stuck to his forehead, eyes incredibly soft, “No problem love, that was amazing, you’re so beautiful… was it alright? Are you okay? Are you sore?” he asks, fingers gently pulling Harry’s hair out of his face.

“I’m good… so good… I wasn’t… don’t think I was prepared for that to be honest,” he says and laughs slightly.

Louis’ grin widens, eyes crinkling up, “It’s good yeah? Intense like?”

“Yeah, just… so much. Not sure when I’ll be able to move again either, my legs are jelly." 

“Oh love, just you wait till the morning and you’ll _definitely_ feel it,” Louis laughs and kisses him.

Harry winces at the thought, “Yeah, I can tell…”

“You’ll be fine, but maybe we should take a shower? We’re positively filthy,” Louis says and wrinkles his nose. _So fucking adorable._

“Which part of ‘I can’t move’ did you not understand?” Harry asks and pokes at Louis’ side.

“I’ll help you, you’ll feel loads better after, promise,” Louis says and after a few minutes of Harry complaining and pouting he manages to drag him into the shower.

It takes them forever to rinse off, Harry basically useless as Louis soaps them up and untangles some of Harry’s curls with nimble fingers. Harry is suddenly reminded of his thoughts earlier in the evening, his nerves as he got ready for Louis to arrive and it hits him in the most blunt and ridiculous way. _I just got fucked and I loved it._ It makes him laugh despite himself.

“What’s so funny Dimples?”

“I just got fucked and I loved it,” Harry grins and Louis rolls his eyes.

“Well good for you then, I loved it too, just for your information.”

“Good, ten out of ten would do it again?” Harry asks and waggles his eyebrows obnoxiously.

Louis groans and slaps his arm lightly, “Can’t believe you’re as hot as you are, it doesn’t make any sense.”

Harry just laughs at him and pulls him in closer, completely giddy with how much he loves the other boy.

“I think it’s because you love me.”

“I think you're right, Harry Styles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


	12. 4. It's the last day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LAST ONE! I'M SWEATING!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> (and if you haven't caught on yet, I love you with the power of a thousand suns Lois ❤)

_So baby now_  
_Take me into your loving arms_  
_Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars_  
_Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart_  
_I'm thinking out loud_  
_That maybe we found love right where we are_

 _Oh maybe we found love right where we are_  
_And we found love right where we are  
_

_\- Ed Sheeran_

\-----------------------

 

It’s the last day of the year and Louis hasn’t seen his boyfriend for nearly nine days. _Nine days._ A quite unacceptable amount of time if you ask him. Since Christmas was right after a weekend this year Louis left for Donny already on the 22nd, his sisters having commanded he spend as much time as possible with them. Harry had only pouted for about a week when he’d been told they wouldn’t spend Louis’ birthday together. (“They get you for like, a whole week! Why can’t I have you on your birthday?!”) Louis was bummed out about it as well but figured they’d make up for it on New Years. Which is today. And Harry is on his way over and Louis can’t fucking wait because since they met three months ago they have never been apart for more than six days and nine days is _clearly_ pushing it. Being surrounded by his family had been lovely (if a bit exhausting) of course, but he’d missed Harry more than he thought would be considered reasonable. The week had stretched out for what seemed like forever and yesterday had been the worst. Yesterday Louis might have been the one resolved to pouting. (“Tomorrow is a ridiculous fucking concept and I hate it, I wanna see you _now.”_ )

Tonight though, they are going to Niall’s flat to celebrate the new year and according to the host himself “everyone”, including all of Louis’ best mates, are going to be there. Louis is looking forward to it, but right now all he wants is his boy.

**_where the fuck are you???? i’m writhing in agony. i’m withering away, piece by piece. there will be nothing left by the time you finally decide to show up_ **

Louis only has time to send the text and walk over to the window to stare out onto the cold, wet street before there’s a loud knock on the door. He practically runs through the living room, slides over the hallway floor and wrenches the door open. And there he is. Tall, curly, frog faced and the most breathtaking thing Louis has ever seen.

“You’re a bloody menace, Louis Tomlinson,” Harry says around a dimpled grin and if Louis lets out an embarrassing whimpering whine at that, he doesn’t even care. He throws his arms around Harry’s waist and burrows his face into his neck. Harry instantly melts against him, wrapping his long arms around Louis’ shoulders and kisses his temple. ” _God_ I’ve missed you though.”

Louis raises his head to look at Harry. _Oh god your eyes, so fucking pretty. My pretty. My pretty here with me._ “Missed you so much, it’s bloody ridiculous,” he says earnestly.

Harry caresses his cheeks with his large hands and smiles softly, “Kinda like you then,” he says and his eyes sparkle teasingly.

Louis doesn’t have time to react before Harry’s kissing him, their lips _finally_ meeting. _So bloody soft, so good, so lovely, god I love kissing you. I love you._

It doesn’t take long before the kisses turn urgent and Harry clumsily grabs his suitcase from where he’d dropped it on the floor and closes the door behind him as they work together to get Harry’s coat off. Harry grabs at him greedily, fingers clutching at Louis’ waist as he pushes him back against the wall. Harry trails his nose up Louis’ neck and Louis _knows_ he’s smelling him, the thought both ridiculous and hotter than anything. There’s a low rumble in Harry’s chest that is abruptly cut off by a loud gasp, Harry suddenly pulling away and looking at Louis with wide eyes.

“You’re 26 now!” he says and sounds like it’s the news of the century.

Louis smiles amusedly at him. _Fucking dork._ “Yes Harold, I’m well aware and so should you be. You did spend 2 hours talking to me on my actual birthday remember?”

“Yes I know but… I’ve never met you like _this_!” His mouth is slightly agape and he looks so bloody _delighted._

Louis knocks his head back against the wall and rolls his eyes fondly. “ _Christ,_ okay I’m old, get over it.”

“No I mean… it’s kind of hot,” Harry says and bites his bottom lip, all teasing coyness.

Louis raises a sharp eyebrow and looks at him in disbelief. _You’ll be the end of me._ “Hot?”

“Yeah, like… you’re three years older than me right now.”

“I’m literally _always_ three years older than you.”

Harry shakes his head vehemently, “No, you’re _literally always_ just over two years older than me, but _right now,_ it’s like you’re three years older.”

Louis just looks at him blankly, “That doesn’t even make- okay, whatever, you win, so… what about it?” he says, indulging Harry.

Harry looks at him for a few seconds, eyes darting between Louis’ and then there’s a shift in the atmosphere. Suddenly the air seems so much thicker and hotter between them and Harry leans forward, lips gracing the shell of Louis’ ear. “I’d really like to fuck my 26 year old boyfriend right now.”

The words set them off, both scrambling through the hallway and into the bedroom, Harry pushing Louis onto the bed with such force that he bounces on it as he lands on his stomach. Louis has about two seconds to feel indignant about it before Harry’s body is covering his, his weight heavy and grounding along his back, breath hot on his neck. “God I missed you, missed you like this, thought about you all the time,” Harry says and Louis shivers under him, his cock rapidly filling up where it’s pressed between his stomach and the mattress.

“ _Fuck,_ common Harry, hurry up,” Louis grunts, grinding back against Harry’s hard cock and rubbing himself against the sheets.

Harry seems to do his best to comply, roughly dragging Louis’ joggers and pants down to his thighs and then quickly working on the zipper of his own jeans. Louis is positively thrumming with arousal, feeling desperate with it. “You’re so fucking hot, just look at you, _jesus,”_ Harry groans and seems to struggle a bit with what to do next. Louis looks over his shoulder to see Harry pull his jeans and pants down with one hand as he reaches over with the other to grab the lube by the nightstand. Soon enough Harry has lubed up two fingers that he pushes insistently against Louis’ rim as he bites onto the base of Louis’ neck. Goosebumps erupt all over Louis’ skin, making his nipples harden against the soft fabric of his vest.

Harry’s wet cock brushes over Louis’ arse cheek and he’s so hard and big and Louis just _wants._ “Damnit, _common,_ put your fingers in me, I can take it,” he says and pushes back.

And then Harry’s fingers breach his hole and Harry lets out a loud moan as if he was the one getting filled up. He slowly but steadily works his fingers in to the last knuckle, twisting them in and out to stretch Louis as quickly as possible. “Fuck, baby, is this okay? Are you-? _God,_ please tell me this is… _unngh_ ,” Harry rambles out, his voice deep and breathy, his hips working in tight circles as he rubs his cock against the back of Louis’ thigh.

“Yes, _fuck yes,_ just a bit more then I’m ready, so _fucking good,_ ” Louis says and moans out loudly when Harry starts scissoring his fingers inside him. Harry has barely even touched his prostate yet but the stretch is so good Louis doesn’t even care, just wants more.

“Gonna make you come so hard baby, it’s all I’ve been thinking about,” Harry says, voice deep and focused.

“ _Yes, come on then,”_ Louis lets out between clenched teeth. Everything is so hot, the fabric of his vest sticking to his back, Harry’s body oozing warmth behind him, the air heavy with the scent of sweat and sex. _Holy fucking shit how did I go for nine days without this?_

Harry breathes heavily behind him and Louis hears the rip of him opening a condom, then the snick of the lube bottle and the slick sound of Harry getting himself wet. Just when Louis thinks that Harry is about to _get to it_ , he’s surprised by a cold trickle right over his sensitive hole.

“ _The fuck!?”_ he gasps out and does his best not to move away and get lube all over the sheets.

Harry sniggers bashfully, “Sorry love, just… wanna make sure you won’t get hurt.

“Pfft!” Louis grumps, but then Harry’s fingers are on him, gathering the lube sliding down over his balls and spreads it around his hole, pushing in and circling the rim. _Fucking yes._

When Harry pushes into him they moan in unison, like they’re in agreement that this was quite a spectacularly good idea. The stretch is a lot, both from not having done this in over a week and from not being as thoroughly prepped as usual, but Louis burns with it in the best way possible. Harry is all over him, hands grabbing roughly at his waist, lips, teeth and tongue laving over his neck and hips pushing harshly against his arse with every thrust. Their gasps and grunts fill up the air around them and a marching band could probably enter the room, full blast, without them noticing. Or in any case Louis wouldn’t give a single fuck about them because Harry’s cock is thrusting into his prostate so hard he’s about two seconds from passing out from it. He doesn’t think about the words leaving his mouth but he can feel the burn of it in his throat. With some difficulty from being pressed into the mattress so hard, Louis manages to sneak one hand around his cock, just tightly holding the tip of it in his fist so that his cock is thrust into it with every snap of Harry’s hips. Within a few moments he starts trembling as the orgasm hits him, his legs shaking as his back arches. “Oh god, oh god, oh god, _oh my fucking god_ , I’m-“ and then his hand is covered in warm wetness, his arse clenching around Harry involuntarily.

Harry pulls out of him quickly and Louis hears the snap of the condom getting pulled off before he can feel the head of Harry’s dick against his arse, his hand working furiously to bring himself over the edge. “Can’t believe how fucking sexy, uh, you are, so fucking- oh god, _perfect,”_ Harry grunts out before coming all over his arse.

 

\---

 

They take a long shower together after they’ve managed to get themselves out of bed. The pace now slow and languid, their hands soft and careful as they soap up each other’s bodies, just enjoying the feeling of the other being near. Harry is so warm and his broad shoulders and wet skin make Louis’ stomach flutter with something like _I can’t believe I get to have you._

Harry brushes strands of Louis’ short fringe across his forehead as he plants small kisses all over his face, “You’re so beautiful,” he says, voice deep and gentle, “I almost forgot just how, like… you’re even more beautiful in person than I could ever make up in my head and in my head you’re like… the prettiest.”

Louis blushes furiously because Harry sounds so in awe and it’s just. A lot. “You’re gonna make me even more of a self absorbed prick if you say stuff like that,” he mutters, small smile on his lips.

Harry snorts and smiles fondly, “You’re like the least self absorbed person I know.” He starts dragging his fingers through his long curls, biceps flexing and _fuck,_ if Louis used pictures of Harry’s body in every ad he made from now on he could sell _anything._

“Well, I did manage to land the fittest lad in northern England but I’m trying not to let it get to my head,” he smiles cheekily.

“Better make sure you don’t leave the county then, wouldn’t want you to find some fit Midlands bloke,” Harry grins, dimples deep in his cheeks, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Doubt they have boys with both dimples and curls, better stick with you… wouldn’t wanna risk it,” Louis says and leans his head on Harry shoulder, his palm caressing over Harry’s stomach.

“Nah, better not,” Harry says and hugs him close, wrapping his arms around Louis shoulders. “I also love kids, I cook, enjoy romantic comedies and have a decently sized penis, so, I’d say you could do worse.”

Louis bursts out laughing and rolls his eyes, “Oh _god,_ good thing we didn’t meet on Grindr, not sure that would’ve done it for me… ‘decently sized penis’.”

Harry laughs too, his eyes crinkling up and his stomach clenching. _Guess a picture of those abs would’ve done it though._

“Jesus can you even imagine? I’d be so embarrassing.”

And, _ungh,_ there is literally nothing more endearing in the entire universe than a self-deprecating Harry. “Eh, if we ignore the fact I haven’t been on Grindr since I was 20, I’m pretty sure you’d charm me anyways, awful presentation or not.”

Harry looks at him for a few moments, biting his bottom lip in contemplation. “I probably would’ve had a heart attack if I’d met you when you were 20.”

“Hah, I’m not so sure, I was very… clean shaven and sort of… twinky,” Louis laughs and wrinkles his nose.

“I’m sure you were lovely, please keep in mind I was a skinny pimply teen who tried to talk myself into dating Becky Wilson back then. You probably would’ve scared the shit out of me.”

“If you were trying to talk yourself into dating Becky Wilson you probably wouldn’t have noticed me at all, babe,” Louis smiles softly at him and is met by so much love and warmth in Harry’s eyes it makes his stomach flutter.

Harry leans down and kisses him gently, “I don’t think there’s a universe in which I wouldn’t notice you, like… maybe I wouldn’t have understood why, but I’m sure I would’ve followed you around like a lost puppy.”

Louis stares at him for a few moments before shaking his head, “Oh god, don’t talk like that, you’re making me sad on my younger self’s behalf for missing out on baby cheeks,” he says and pinches Harry’s squishy cheek.

 

\---

 

“Loooooou, what’s taking you so long? I’ve been dressed forever!” Harry’s voice comes through from the other side of the bedroom door.

“Just a sec!” Louis gives himself another once over in the mirror, making sure his hair looks good, his scruff is even and the shirt is hanging off of his frame nicely. Then he heads for the door and hesitates with a hand on the door handle. “Hazza?” he asks and waits for Harry to come back to the door and answer him.

“Yeah? What are you doing?” Harry wonders and Louis can tell he’s smiling just from the sound of his voice.

“So…” Louis says and bites his bottom lip, “Remember when you said I could borrow your clothes anytime I’d like?”

Harry seems to shuffle a bit on the other side of the door, “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay so, I might’ve… taken that to heart?”

“You’re… you’re wearing something of mine?” Harry asks hesitantly.

“Yup, saw it in your wardrobe before Christmas and Niall brought it for me this morning,” Louis says and waits nervously for Harry’s reaction. _What if he thinks I’m a bloody nut job who steals his clothes._

“Oh _god_ , remind me to thank Niall personally tonight,” Harry says, sounding anything but put out. Louis lets out a sigh of relief.

“Okay good, so… you ready?” he asks and winces at himself for making such a big deal out of this. He should’ve just asked Harry if he could borrow it, but apparently he enjoys making life more difficult for himself.

“Born ready,” Harry says and the grin is back in his voice.

Louis opens the door and the second he sees Harry all his worries about his own outfit is blown away because Harry is. He’s… he’s. _Unreal._ He’s wearing a form fitted emerald velvet suit that makes his legs look never ending, the blazer hugging his shoulders perfectly. Under the blazer he’s wearing a black shirt, for once buttoned up to the collar. His hair looks rich and gorgeous over his shoulders and his eyes greener than ever. Anyone else might look ridiculous in such an outfit but Harry looks like a posh perfume ad. Louis’ mouth goes dry at the sight of him.

Harry takes a deep breath as his eyes slowly move up and down Louis’ body. “Oh god Lou… you look- _fuck you look good in that shirt,”_ Harry practically _moans_ and pulls him by the hand out into the living room to get a better look.

Louis is wearing his tightest black jeans matched with Harry’s black semi see through short sleeved shirt covered in flamingos. Even though he’s sure Harry would wear it unbuttoned, he’s wearing it buttoned all the way up. The fit is slightly big on him, but he likes the way it looks, the hem of the shirt covering the tops of his thighs.

He likes the way it feels to wear Harry’s clothes.

Harry is biting his bottom lip and blatantly stares at him, eyes flickering from where his jeans hug his thighs to the shimmering glow of his cheekbones. “Are you wearing make up?” he asks and his voice is deep and rough, sending shivers down Louis’ spine.

“Just a dab, Lottie convinced me my cheekbones would look _amazing_ with a dash of ‘golden glow’ and I can’t say I disagree, what do you think?” Louis smirks and tilts his head slightly so his face catches the light.

“You look like the universe,” Harry says, sounding a bit as if someone hit him in the head. And just like that Louis’ smirk melts into small smile as his cheeks heat up.

“You look like a frog prince,” he mutters bashfully, making Harry squawk out a laugh perfectly fitting the title.

 

\---

 

Niall greets them at the door by pulling them both into one hug and giving them a wet kiss on the cheek each. “ _Finally_ , my favourite boys have arrived!”

Louis laughs, still not completely used to how welcoming and lovely the lad is after not seeing him for so many years. “Thanks for inviting me and my mates,” Louis says as they put away their coats.

“No worries, you lot will make the crowd as a whole about a thousand times more attractive,” Niall grins and looks absolutely delighted by the prospect.

Harry takes his hand as they make their way into the kitchen where they receive hugs from Jesy, Jade and Liam and then move on to greet a few other people Louis has never met before. It hits him that he’s only been introduced to Harry’s closest circle of friends before and that by bringing him tonight, Harry is coming out to a much larger group. He sneaks an arm around Harry’s waist and Harry automatically drapes an arm around Louis’ shoulder as he gives him a soft smile. _I’m so fucking proud of you._

Halfway through his first beer Louis hears loud voices coming from the hallway and he rolls his eyes because he knows what it means – his boys have arrived. “Lets go say hi and make sure they don’t break anything first thing,” Louis says to Harry and pulls him out of the kitchen.

Niall is making his rounds shaking everyone’s hands, the group making the hallway seem overly crowded. Zayn, Nick, Olly, Olly’s boyfriend Dani and Stan greet the host with compliments of Niall’s hair and thanks for being invited.

“Oi oi!” Louis yells at them and grins when they all erupt in cheers. Stan manages to squeeze through and comes up to Louis and Harry, slightly red faced but with a loud grin.

“Hi lads! So good to see you,” he says and gives them each a hug. “We did two rounds of shots at Olly’s before we got here, Zayn’s in a _very good_ mood.”

Louis laughs and looks at Zayn over Stan’s shoulder. “Yeah I can tell, Jade will be _thrilled.”_ Zayn is grinning with his whole face and brings Niall into another big hug before he spots Louis and Harry.

“Loueh, Harreh!” he says and comes over to them. “Any fit lads here to introduce us to?”

Harry grins, dimples deep in his cheeks and Louis wants to kiss his whole face, “I’m pretty sure the rest of them are sadly straight,” he says, eyes glinting. _God you’re pretty, so fucking pretty, how did I get so lucky?_

Zayn pouts as Nick drapes an arm around his shoulder and plants a kiss on his head, “If anyone’s fit enough to make them doubt it, it’s you Zaynie boy yeah?” and successfully makes Zayn smile again as the two of them make it into the kitchen.

Louis and Harry say hi to Olly and Dani and eventually all of them join the rest of Niall’s guests in the living room.

 

\---

 

It’s nearing 10PM and Louis is pleasantly buzzed. People seem to have a really good time and Louis is definitely right there with them. He’s been hanging out with Jesy, Jade, Perrie and Leigh Anne for a while now, loving how the four girls seem to get along splendidly. They drink beer and share embarrassing drunk stories and Louis laughs so hard he tears up when Perrie tells them about the time she danced on top of her neighbour’s car and set off the alarm, successfully waking up the entire street.

Across the room Louis spots Harry, _stop looking so fucking hot I’m going to want to bail before midnight,_ talking to Vicky. Harry is frowning slightly and she looks embarrassed. Louis wonders what they’re talking about, hoping that she’s not being as nasty as last time. He knows it’s only been a few months, but that night at the pub feels like light years away. The idea that Vicky or any other girl would make him jealous seem so incredibly far fetched now, which makes his stomach warm with devotion for his boy. They’ve come so far in just the three months that they’ve known each other. Louis can’t really believe how sure he is of Harry now. As if something has fallen into place and just. Fits. They fit. The way he curls around Harry’s broad back as they sleep, the way Harry’s hands squeeze at his waist, the way Harry’s deep slow voice blend with Louis’ light raspy one and the way Louis thought that loving someone would make him weaker but how Harry makes him feel stronger and braver than anything.

Harry gives Vicky a hug and then starts making his way through the room, green eyes set on Louis. “This seems like the fun corner, can I join?” Harry asks the girls and Jade moves to sit on Jesy’s lap to make room for Harry next to Louis.

“Sure thing, we’re making fun of me so you’ll fit right in,” Perrie smiles and pokes at Harry’s side.

Harry does that thing where he looks both pleased and offended, “I don’t make fun of you!?”

Leigh Anne laughs loudly and Perrie raises and arched eyebrow, “You don’t?”

“No!? I’m always nice to you!” Harry squeals, eyes crinkling as he smiles, and looks to Louis for support.

“Yes babe, you’re an angel,” Louis grins and then mouths an exaggerated “he’s not” as he shakes his head.

Harry pinches his thigh in retaliation and the girls give them fond looks before turning back to their conversation, Louis and Harry too busy pinching and tickling each other to notice.

 

\---

 

“So, you and Vicky talked yeah?” Louis asks after him and Harry have snuck away to a quiet corner of the kitchen for a little while.

“Yeah, she apologised for what she said to you… told her she should apologies to you in person but I think she’s embarrassed.”

“I don’t need an apology, you were the one she trash talked,” Louis says and reaches up to, as so many times before, tuck one of Harry’s long curls behind his ear.

“Yeah well, we talked a bit and I think… I think maybe I could’ve… been a bit more… umm, attentive? Like… we’ve been mates since we were kids but I never knew she umm… had feelings for me, like… maybe I should’ve known that.”

Louis smiles softly at him, _god you’re lovely_ , “I mean, it’s a bit knob-ish to just walk around and assume everyone’s in love with you, so I don’t think you can be blamed sweetheart.

Harry shrugs, “I don’t know, anyways we talked it out so…”

“I’m glad, I know it bothered you,” Louis says and plants small kisses along Harry’s knuckles.

Harry smiles at him and they get lost in each other until one of Niall’s friends interrupts them with a loud “MANDATORY DANCING IN THE LIVING ROOM!”

 

\---

 

And they dance even though the mandatory part seems to have been a bit exaggerated. Harry twirls Perrie around the room and Louis laughs loudly as he himself gets sandwiched between Stan and Olly, Stan seemingly set on making Harry jealous but only managing to make Harry waggle his eyebrows and give them a cheeky “Love the show lads.”

It’s sweaty and so much fun, everyone dancing with everyone. At one point he’s got Liam’s arm wrapped around his shoulder as they shout out the lyrics to Fresh Prince of Bel Air, a few songs later Zayn is trying out some Michael Jackson moves and then Louis is surrounded by Leigh Anne, Stan and Harry as Niall blares Craig David from the speakers.

Then Harry’s arms wrap around his waist, pressed closely to his back as they sway to the beat of Pon de Replay. “You’re so bloody gorgeous, I don’t know what to do with myself,” Harry breathes in his ear, sending shivers down Louis’ spine.

Louis leans even further back against him and kisses him over his shoulder before answering. “You’re gonna dance and drink and have some more fun, and then you’re gonna take me home and have your way with me.”

Harry grunts into his neck and wraps his long fingers around Louis’ hips, “I like the way you think.”

 

\---

 

Niall is standing on the coffee table, 2018 goggles and a party horn ready, “Ooooiii! Only 15 seconds left, let’s do this! TEN!” and then the whole room start the count down, Louis wrapping his arms around Harry’s waist and they smile giddily at each other as they shout.

“HAPPY NEW YEARS!”

The whole room explodes in noise, confetti and cheers but it all blurs quickly into the background when Harry kisses him. Lips soft and sure and everything Louis could ever wish for on the stroke of midnight as 2017 turns into 2018. Louis started out 2017 with the ambition to focus on his job and go for a morning run once in a while. What he ended up with feels so much more monumental, it’s a bit difficult to take in. He found his person. He found someone who makes him laugh louder, think further and love harder than he ever has. Harry makes the things that he thought difficult easy and he makes the things Louis used to overlook seem precious and bright. He makes Louis happy. Where Louis was _just fine_ and _doing alright_ he is now _fucking splendid_ and _the happiest person on earth._ And that’s something. Harry is something. Louis tries to show it all in the way he drags his fingers through Harry’s curls and through the smile he presses to his lips. “Happy New Years baby, I love you,” he whispers loud enough for Harry’s ears only.

Eyes like glittering gemstones meet his and Harry smiles like Louis is wonder. “Happy New Years, I love you so much. Can you believe 2017 will always be the year that we met? Like, _our_ year?”

Louis leans up and places a soft kiss on his lips, “I think every year will be our year from now on, love.”

 

\---

 

Sometime during the AM some of the guests have made their way home while some have kept drinking sparkling wine as if their lives depended on it. Louis most definitely belongs in the latter group and he might be _just_ on the right side of a little too drunk, but he’s also so happy. He’s got his boy and his best mates and his boy’s best mates who are also so fucking amazing and it all sort of feels like this night will last forever.

They’re all sitting around the coffee table, spread out over the couch and the floor while Perrie is perched on the edge of the only armchair. “Ey, let’s do a 2017 summary yeah? Like, the best and worst?” she says and claps her hand. “I’ll go first!” she starts without waiting for anyone to agree with her. “Umm… okay, worst of 2017 was getting kicked out of my flat and the best was getting an even better flat as a result!” she grins and Louis raises his plastic champagne flute to her.

Niall says the best thing about 2017 was getting his new guitar and the worst was how much his knee hurt during the spring and Leigh Anne tells them about her hellish summer but sort of great autumn. When they get to Harry Louis turns to look at him only to find Harry already staring at him. The attention makes his cheeks warm up a little bit, but he really can’t bring himself to mind.

“Umm… the worst thing of 2017 was when things didn’t work out at work and the best thing was…” he says and takes a deep breath before he continues, “The best thing was I met the man I’m going to marry.”

The room erupt in “awws” and Louis feels himself get nudged in the side but he barely takes notice. He stares back at Harry and asks “Is that so?”, trying for cheeky but his voice cracks and he just _knows_ he looks like fondness personified. _What did I do to get you?_

Harry nods and smiles bashfully, cheeks the prettiest pink Louis has ever seen. “Yeah, it is.”

Just like that.

 

\---

 

It’s getting close to 4AM as they (a bit unsteadily) make their way home, fingers laced between them. They’re full of giggles and love and they stop every other minute to exchange kisses, full blown grins pressing together. They’re only a few blocks away from Louis’ flat when Louis pulls them to a stop right under a street light. Shadows play over Harry’s features, making his sharp angles look sharper and the soft curve of his cheeks look like home. “I didn’t even know you wanted to get married Mr Styles,” he says and the dimpled grin he receives is better than everything.

Harry traces his cheekbones with his thumbs, his long fingers curling into the hair behind Louis’ ears. “I didn’t either but now I do."

“Didn’t know or didn’t want to?” Louis asks because these things are important.

“Didn’t know,” Harry shrugs, still smiling but eyes serious. “There were a lot of things I didn’t know before I met you but now I do.”

Louis heats up from the inside, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, untamed joy curling it’s way through his veins. “Yeah? Like what?” he asks and he knows he’s just fishing but Harry doesn’t seem to mind.

Harry kisses him, his tongue sliding against Louis’, warm and wet and perfect. The air billows in a white cloud around them when they pull apart. “Like… I know now that I want to get married, have kids. The whole picket fence kit.”

There’s a buzzing in his ears and something bursting in his chest, he feels like he’s falling apart in the best possible way because he’s pretty sure that Harry is quoting him. He’s pretty sure that when Harry looks at him with green eyes so sincere, it means that Harry wants those things with him. And that’s. A lot.

“Yeah?” he croaks out, voice broken and thin. He feels like he could cry but then the muscles of his cheeks arranges itself into a grin instead, eyes crinkling up into small slits.

Harry nods and looks about as close to tears as he feels, “Yeah, I don’t mean to like… freak you out or anything… like… I just think you should know. That’s how I feel.”

Louis laughs a bit startled at that, still in disbelief that Harry is actually real. “You’re not freaking me out baby, you’re making me feel like every dream I’ve ever had is coming true right this moment.”

 

\---

 

Waking up the next morning feels a bit like waking up to his future. Only hopefully, he won’t always be as sweaty and stink of cheese crackers and cheap wine. But Harry is curled around him, long naked limbs sticking to his skin, and he wouldn’t want the first day of the year to start any other way.

He opens his eyes and sees Harry’s cheek squished against the pillow, a slight sheen of sweat glistening over his skin, and he shouldn’t be as beautiful as he is. But. He is. Louis smoothes down one of Harry’s eyebrows, enjoying the feeling of warm skin beneath his finger. A small frown settles over Harry’s face as he wakes up, eyes moving under his eyelids before he opens them and Louis is treated by the soft green hue surrounded by puffy skin. And as if on cue, a deep dimple appears in Harry’s left cheek, “Hi,” he says, voice deep and rough.

“Hi love,” Louis answers and it feels like he’s not only greeting Harry but also the butterflies slowly waking up in his belly. As if they only rest when he’s sleeping but are now starting with their daily duties, a light fluttering of wings tickling him awake from the inside.

“Love,” Harry repeats and it sounds like a promise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos or a comment if you enjoyed ❤
> 
> You can also find me on [tumblr.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/)
> 
> And here's a tumblr post if you want to [reblog.](http://gaycousinlarry.tumblr.com/post/157288273578/them-butterflies-written-by-momentofclarity) Thank you!


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